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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

countryside road etiquette

102 replies

Crystyclear · 19/04/2011 13:36

oh dear... it's the holidays.

yes, i know you enjoy driving your pretty little sportscar/hulking great caravan/ posh saloon (delete as appropriate) around the countryside lanes, but please, please learn some basic fecking etiquette:

if you're on a single track road and you meet a car coming the other way and there's a pull in space just behind you, do reverse into it and let them by

or if there's no pull in but the road is wide enough for two, then pull over - so no one has to scratch their car squeezing though.

don't honk and fuss at the farmers and their vehicles - they are working and live here and will usually pull over when they can to let you by.

i don't care what the sat nav is telling you - if the road sign says no vehicles over X height or X width, it's not a joke and having the only road to your house closed due to a jack-knifed car with caravan is certainly not funny.

or AIBU?

OP posts:
JaneS · 20/04/2011 12:14

Agree with snorbs. You can get bright yellow harness that says 'training in progress' on it, we know people who use it. They also teach the horse (without rider) how to stop and get down to single file/step up on the verge if there is one as a first part of being on the road. If you've got to the stage where you've got a child on a horse, that horse should be fully trained. Otherwise, sorry, you are barking mad.

I am beginning to suspect from posts that I lived in an area that was unusually bad for twattish horse riders who gave the rest a bad name for me. I did know some like the person with the training harness who were great, but frankly a lot of them just struck me as over-entitled and cruel to their animals. No horse wants to walk along with a car behind them doing horse's walking pace for longer than it has to.

itsthawooluff · 20/04/2011 12:30

I do have hi-vis vest that says "please pass wide and slow". A few drivers do seem to see that as a challenge, and deliberately go past as close, as fast, and as loud as they can.

Most drivers don't.

missymarmite · 20/04/2011 12:51

YADNBU.

And when you bring your grockle boxes (that's caravan to non-devon folk) down, please, please remember that some of us LIVE AND WORK here, and pull into let the long line of traffic pass safely.

The number of times I have followed a tosser in his/her oversized mobile home, for 13 miles from Totnes to Kingsbridge, a road that you can quite comfortably drive at 45 mph on, but they can only do max of 30. At times a journey that takes only half an hour in winter, takes almost 1 whole hour, between lorries (fine-doing their job), tractors (also fine, just getting on with it), cyclists, elderly dodderers ( who really shouldn't be driving if they can't keep a decent speed ), and grockles who don't know where they are going, and don't have th courtesy to pull in to look at the map!!!!!!!!!!

GGGGrrrrrr!!!!

missymarmite · 20/04/2011 12:58

I mean, surely if you see that there is a line of 20 cars behind you, you must realise you are holding people up. I would HATE to be trailed by angry frustrated motorists.

Original poster
Crystyclear · 20/04/2011 13:18

grockle-boxes Grin as a devonian... that's a new one on me! however, i'm of northern persuasion and to us, they're "up country folk" and the caravans are just plain annoying and don't fit and never will... no matter how much they try and squeeze them down the lanes.

OP posts:
petal2008 · 20/04/2011 13:50

When I last read Highway Code (admittedly a good while ago now) it said pedestrians should walk on the right hand side of the road so that you can see oncoming traffic. Surely that's common sense anyway? The amount of time I've come up behind them and they have no idea you are there, often wearing headphones so no way they can hear you.

PigeonPie · 20/04/2011 13:58

Thank you for the explanations about not trotting on tarmac roads - that makes complete sense!

OP - you are definitely NBU!

We are staying with my Ma in the New Forest at the moment and this afternoon I have to go and collect DH from the station. From experience, I am pretty sure that I will encounter some extremely bad drivers in the hour I will be out. The ones who don't give the New Forest Ponies and cows room when passing and the ones, despite the 40mph limit across the forest, who insist on going faster and appear to want to travel in my boot. However, I have found that washing my windscreen helps - and it's even better when they've got a soft top with the roof down as they get wet too Grin.

olderyetwider · 20/04/2011 14:41

I've got a new hi-vis that looks like a police one, but says 'polite' on it. It will be interesting to see if drivers mistake me for mounted police and slow down. (Not sure if the Police use scruffy little Fell ponies though, so that might give the game away!)

Abr1de · 20/04/2011 17:15

ROund here we have the syndrome of three or four young women in a small car doing the beauty spots and then driving at a steady 29mph along the main road, which actually has a 60 mph limit, though probably safer driven at about 45 mph.

I'm bored with being polite and running late for school buses and dental appointments and now flash and toot. If they can't be bothered to pull over so we can pass they deserve it.

Lucyinthepie · 20/04/2011 18:01

My high viz says Please Pass Wide and Slow, maybe its too hopeful to hope that people might wonder if a pony being led in-hand is having some sort of training session, but you'd think it would give them pause for thought wouldn't you?
I suppose really, you'd hope that seeing anyone with an animal on the road would give drivers pause for thought...

missymarmite · 20/04/2011 18:10

That's what I don't get, Abr1de! They can see there is someone (more often than not lots of vehicles) behind them, but they just carry on oblivious!

OH, and not knowing how to drive (let alone reverse) with a caravan. I mean, why bring the thing down narrow lanes when you can't maneouvre the damn thing!

A couple of years ago there was an accident on the main A road I travel on daily. So the police directed everyone back, I had to take a different route home, miles out of my way, along with everyone and his brother, at rush hour, with bloody tourists.

I mean FFS! We were stuck down this road for over an hour, because this idiot with his huge caravan couldn't get past a tractor pulling a maaahooosive trailer. In this case, the farmer and the caravan driver were both at fault. I mean, rush hour, in the summer FFS! I got a bit irate because I needed to collect DS from afterschool club or incur extra late charges. When I commented that it was silly bringing a huge caravan down, this tractor driver said that there are 3 caravan parks !!!!! down this narrow single lane road. When I suggested that perhaps this was a bit irresponsible considering the traffic, he got all defensive; "You try making a living here, then" as if I was a blooming holiday maker! Shock I just yelled "er, I live here, and I need to collect my DS from school, actually! Try driving to work daily!"

Salmotrutta · 20/04/2011 18:12

I'm shocked at some of the stories on this thread (and the othet one kunfupanda had). I've lived in small rural Scottish towns most of my life and always take great care round horses, sheep etc. as we have stables and farms all around.
We don't see too much of this sort of rude and obnoxious behaviour up here but one of my most delicious memories of a twat stupid fellow getting his come-uppance happened when I was a youngster:
My best friend's Dad was a farmer who had hundreds of sheep which he would occassionally be moving to different fields etc. I was staying there one holiday and we were all helping to move the sheep, stationed at different point to stop them running up tracks, and stopping traffic coming down the farm road. Anyway, one of my pal's brothers was stopping the cars but this idiot driver decided he shouldn't have to wait, Hmm argued with the brother and started driving through the sheep and scattering them to all points of the compass. He eventually ground to a halt in the middle of the huge flock of sheep Grin
My friend's dad (who was the most lovely, kind man) went absolutely ballistic, marched up to the car and gave the guy the longest and loudest bollocking I'd ever heard him utter. I do believe he also hauled his own farmer's bonnet off and jumped on it he was so angry. The driver, of course, was a captive audience and when the tirade had finished and the sheep were eventually back on their merry way he drove off sheepishly Grin with the reddest face you ever did see. Sweet Grin

Tolalola · 20/04/2011 18:13

I think I must be a bit weird, because I actually quite like meeting, following or waiting for horses, hay trailers, hedge trimmers etc. And I love seeing a sheepdog or two shifting a flock down a lane.

It makes me feel all relaxed, seeing people getting on with that sort of stuff. And I'm never in that much of a rush, I mean, a few minutes one way or the other rarely really makes much difference to anything, does it? Grin

Salmotrutta · 20/04/2011 18:14

oops - occasionally

fivegomadindorset · 20/04/2011 20:42

The other one around here.

You do not dirve a tracked vehicle (tank) so NO YOU DO NOT NEED TO DRIVE AT 20 MILES PER HOUR

nijinsky · 20/04/2011 20:54

LittleRedDragon "Agree with snorbs. You can get bright yellow harness that says 'training in progress' on it, we know people who use it. They also teach the horse (without rider) how to stop and get down to single file/step up on the verge if there is one as a first part of being on the road. If you've got to the stage where you've got a child on a horse, that horse should be fully trained. Otherwise, sorry, you are barking mad. "

I despair, I really do. You do seem to think horses are some kind of computer. I'd ask you to rephrase this in proper English but I suspect you are being deliberately oblique.

^sometimes it doesn't matter how well the horse is trained, they get frightened sometimes and do things like spook and shy. If you drive too close to them, they can land in your car. Please take some lessons on driving in the countryside before experimenting with someone's life and that of their horse.

"I am beginning to suspect from posts that I lived in an area that was unusually bad for twattish horse riders who gave the rest a bad name for me. "

No, I suspect you live in an area with an unusually twattish driver.

"I did know some like the person with the training harness who were great, but frankly a lot of them just struck me as over-entitled and cruel to their animals. No horse wants to walk along with a car behind them doing horse's walking pace for longer than it has to."

I think you have issues.

JaneS · 20/04/2011 21:03

Oh, that made me grin, I love the idea of your notice olderandwider.

Lucy - I think there are just so many possibilities that occur if you see a horse being led - I think it is asking too much to expect someone to know it's a lesson.

Salmotrutta · 20/04/2011 21:04

I too rather like seeing horses and riders out and about. They are just as entiltled to use the roads as drivers and they always smile and nod round here if you show consideration to them. The riders that is, not the horses Grin

I see more crap driving on the main roads though - people overtaking near blind crests, sharp bends, crossroads etc. Fools. Nothing to do with being in the countryside - they just drive badly all the time.

onagar · 20/04/2011 21:13

The highway code says "never ride more than two abreast, and ride in single file on narrow or busy roads and when riding round bends". So it is not forbidden as claimed by some.

For horses and for bicycles the idea is not that they keep far enough in so that crap drivers can pass them without worrying about oncoming traffic.

JaneS · 20/04/2011 21:17

That was me onegar - I was wrong. Sorry!

You can't pass a horse even single file if something else is coming, but on most country roads you can't pass at all if they're two abreast, and that is really rude imo, and not nice for the horses.

Dawnybabe · 20/04/2011 21:21

It's not so much the horses on the lanes that bother me, as I'm out most days on same said lanes with pushchair and dog so I'm just as slow as they are. It's the ones that ride on the paths and then leave big piles of poo that wind me up. No, funnily enough I don't want it on my pushchair wheels, I don't want to have to go into the road and god help you if I meet you on the path. Horses are transport, get on the bloody road!

littlewater · 20/04/2011 21:24

i know what you go threw, i live in Devon and every summer city people come to stay!

for the love of god, please learn to reverse!

nijinsky · 20/04/2011 21:30

Its been a legal requirement to take a towing test if you got your driving license after 1997. The towing test teaches correct towing procedure, safe reversing while towing, safe braking, and what sort of vehicle you can legally tow the weight you are towing with, etc.. Its pretty obvious some of the drivers out there towing have no idea. I've been passed by people towing caravans at 70mph on a windy day on the motorway. I've seen people towing large caravans with a Renault Clio or similar. Its scary.

JaneS · 20/04/2011 21:35

Tiny cars towing caravans would scare me too, but I don't think you're right about the legal requirements. DirectGov website says it's only necessary above a certain weight, so you can tow anything lighter with a normal license:

'If you passed your driving test after 1 January 1997 and have an ordinary Category B licence, you can drive either of the following:

* a vehicle up to 3.5 tonnes (3,500 kilograms) maximum gross weight towing a trailer of up to 750 kilograms maximum gross weight (up to 4,250 kilograms in total)
* a trailer over 750 kilograms maximum gross weight as long as it is no more than the unladen or 'kerb' weight of the towing vehicle (up to 3,500 kilograms in total)'
MirandaGoshawk · 20/04/2011 21:40

'give way to pheasants and the things that look like pheasants but paler'

lol - they are pheasants too (lady pheasants)