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AIBU?

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Original poster

After drinking too much I.....

72 replies

heliumballoons · 18/04/2011 22:49

Having a very funny chat with a friend telling her about how over the space of a summer season repping abroad we collected a full patio dining set including:

Plastic table and 5 chairs
oil lamp
wine bucket
napkins
plastic pint glasses
and a no entry sign. Grin

She told me about how she dug up and moved a no sale sign so some poor unsuspecting people woke up one morning to discover their house on the market Grin

So come on, tell me yours.................

OP posts:
Original poster
heliumballoons · 18/04/2011 23:19

or 'this ain't a love song' Grin

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2011 23:19

i did a similar thing with my ex-p when I discovered
I phoned his work as well and left them answer machine messages for him of this song..

LindyHemming · 18/04/2011 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindyHemming · 18/04/2011 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ninx · 18/04/2011 23:22

I made off with a road-light once when I was young, as you do. It was still flashing on and off under my white eighties jacket when a police car pulled up to see if I was okay. Yes I was perfectly fine thank you occifer Hmm

Al0uiseG · 18/04/2011 23:22

Do you need the whole list or just the top ten?

Deafworm · 18/04/2011 23:23

:o the oddest experience of that year was stone cold sober as duty first aider and friends as duty manager doing the rounds of the buildings before locking them up (tumblers on the inside to get out but doors locked from outside)we would knock on the room of the teacher in charge and in this case found 3 drunk teachers (no offence generally to teachers before im jumped on i met dozens of amazing ones, only a few that worried me!) playing strip poker, who then asked if we wanted to join in!

BluddyMoFo · 18/04/2011 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
heliumballoons · 18/04/2011 23:27

Grin @ Al0ouiseG

As many as you want. Wink

OP posts:
QuintEggSentialPaints · 18/04/2011 23:29

stole a window.

It was not just a window.
It was a fine antique window to be used in the restoration of an old inn where Nansen used to hang out.

Original poster
heliumballoons · 18/04/2011 23:29

buddy passes Wine Wine Wine Wine

OP posts:
MavisEnderby · 18/04/2011 23:34
MrsSchadenfreude · 18/04/2011 23:38

Friend and I stopped for a pee on the way home on the ramp that goes down to the river in Putney. I lost my balance, skidded on my pee, grabbed hold of her and we fell in the river. Went home smelling of wee and river, and her white jeans were ruined. Put my night shirt on and thought it would be really funny to flash my fanny at my (male) flat mates (this was a very long time ago), lifting up nightshirt and shouting "woooo!" Blush

Slipped on a wet bathroom floor, hit my head hard against a corner wall and knocked myself out. Still have dent in side of head from that.

I had a lost weekend once, woke up in bed with two friends who were shagging next to me. The girl leaned over and said "Gordon said he had to go home." I never did find out who Gordon was, but I had clearly enjoyed myself with him. Blush And the other two who were still shagging, apparently. BlushBlush

I am now respectable and drink a lot less, due to lack of gall bladder. Sad

Bohica · 18/04/2011 23:42

DH & I managed to get locked out one evening, we couldn't think of a way to break in so decided to have a shag in the car on the drive way (terraced house)
In the end we smashed the kitchen window with a brick & I got stuck crawled through.

strandedbear · 18/04/2011 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DooinMeCleanin · 18/04/2011 23:59

Not me but my best friend, who I lived with at the time.

me What happened? Where are your clothes? Are you okay? Oh my god.
him: Did you that house over there has a camera pointed to our house?
me: Yes. Why? Why are you naked?
him: Did you know that camera follows us when we leave or come back to the house?
me: Yes why? I think it's on a motion sensor. It watches lots of people. Again, where are your clothes?
him: In the front garden
me: wtf?
him: I thought I would give the nosy bastard something to watch so I streaked from our front garden to the end of the street and back again.

whatever17 · 19/04/2011 00:11

I was abroad and was pissed and out on one of those diving floats about a third of a mile from shore with some bloke.

It was the middle of the night and I could hear my sister screaming my name and saw loads of flashlights. I thought "what's that silly cow up to now?" shouted "hellooooo" and carried on. Me and the bloke eventually swam in to shore to see my sister, naked, hysterical and with all 3 emergency services doing their utmost to rescue me.

She was standing their naked holding a fireman's hand (ever opportunistic) and I refused to get out of the water (also naked) and she went off, naked, and got me a blanket from the ambulance.

She remembered just in time to give a false name and address to the police.

We kept that story secret till she told it at my wedding, in a speech, whore.

malibustac · 19/04/2011 00:17

My dp stood in our balcony naked shouting he loved me. Luckily no-one saw him.

I left a party to walk home wearing slippers in the pissing rain. My gorgeous new boots in a bag so they didn't get ruined. Proceeded to fall in the mud losing the slippers and arrived home looking like the swamp thing.

Threw up in the dancing then denied it to the security staff and got threw out then snogged a guy with pukey breath Blush. I have loads but think I may be sharing too much Grin

Ninx · 19/04/2011 00:20

Antique window theft - marvellous Grin

Another dreary clichéd student thing was stealing a poster from sixth form college advertising higher education BUT it was too good not to as it was emblazoned with the legend;

"Bradford - An Interesting place!"

I threw eggs at an ex BF from my flat four stories up when he was storming off once but I was semi-sober so that probably doesn't count. Hurt him though and made a right mess of his hair.

Ninx · 19/04/2011 00:27

On holiday I stepped out of my room thinking I was going to the bathroom and right off the top of the marble staircase shrieking because I thought I was going to break my neck. Stark bollock naked of course sending the entire occupants of the house out of their rooms to see who was being murdered.

Shamefully crawled back to bed without taking my contact lenses out then woke up and put some different contact lenses in on top of them. Spent the rest of the morning thinking I really had drunk myself blind Hmm

AlmightyCitrus · 19/04/2011 00:32

Stole a flashing yellow light thingy from some roadworks.
Secreted the light in (now ex) boyfriends sisters bedroom.
Sister came home, screamed and thought her room was on fire, and dropped her KFC.
KFC was eaten by resident cats.
Sister is amused by light, but not by cats eating KFC, so decides to cook herself some food.
Sister (and rest of house) fall asleep.
Everyone wakes up at 4am to find the whole place full of thick black smoke, and the charcoaled remains of chicken kiev and garlic bread in the oven.

Oops!

LindyHemming · 19/04/2011 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
heliumballoons · 19/04/2011 09:58

PMSL @ ^^ all of these. Grin

Agree the antique window trumps any other sort of theft borrowing incidents. Wink

Anyone for 'flaming tennis' Grin

We stole a Wheel of fortune board from our local once used for game
night. We returned it shamed faced the next day and stayed for a few more

OP posts:
washnomore · 19/04/2011 10:02

Stole a 5ft plastic grouse and installed it in a grandstand.

I think that was my greatest drunken moment (I had assistance, obviously - the thing was as big as me!). There are many others but mostly of the student stealing-traffic-cones calibre.

Threaders · 19/04/2011 10:08

I was late teens, village I lived in had a large population of older residents. A lot seemed to like garden gnomes.

Got drunk with friend. Went round entire village "acquiring" as many garden gnomes as possible. We got around 30. Took them to local nursing home. Lined them all up on window sill of conservatory facing inwards.

I'll never know what was said the next morning when the staff opened the curtains to see 30 garden gnomes staring menacingly at them. I like to think it raised a laugh to offset the fact that it was indeed theft. However, let it be known that I wasn't a complete arsehole, and we actually wrote the house number and street on the base of each gnome so they could be returned. Fuck me I was a thoughtful drunk back then.