to be a bit wierded out that my OH took DS2 (11 Months) to see dead body?

[youbethemummylion]

It's not quite as bad as it sounds it wasn't just a random dead body but DS2's great-grandad at home the day before the funeral. I think I'm propabably being a bit silly but I'm feeling a bit shocked that OH thought this was ok and a bit sad that my precious innocent little baby has seen a dead body! Am I being a bit over-sensitive?

not necessarily bad.thats what folk do at wakes.say goodbye. then after funeral have great big feed (all that emotional energy) and a cry,pay respct and drink

11mo wont recall,only become issue when you feel that it may negatively impact or distress.and that is a parental judgement call

YABU and a bit disrespectful - IMHO.

Over sensitive-he was too young to understand and it is a shame that death is a taboo subject anyway.

It depends on what's normal for you and your family. At 11 months, he won't remember it anyway but in case you're worried about him having seen something he shouldn't have, it would probably only be an issue if you made him feel bad about it or give him the strong impression it was abnormal or damaging in some way.

Being Irish (as with some others on this thread), I saw my the bodies of my grandfather, grandmother and aunt laid out before I reached the age of 12 so that was just normal in my culture and I never thought I was seeing something I shouldn't be seeing. My parents took me to see my aunt numerous times when she was dying of terminal cancer. Around the ages 10-12 all I seemed to do at one point was go to funerals and hang around graveyards as we had quite a few family /local tragedies. My DH, being Scottish, has never seen a dead body and was quite creeped out when I told him about my death-saturated childhood. It was normal for me though. Anything is normal if everyone around you thinks it is!

YANBU

Its true that your DS wont remember it at all but I completely agree with you, it is a little inappropriate to take such a young child to see a dead body! Did you not know he was planning to take him? I would never have let DS go!

I'm in NI and my dds (5,3 and 9 weeks) have already been to a funeral. I've seen grannys, aunts etc "laid out" from quite a young age. I also take dds to see elderly granny, their great granny in a nursing home, tbh they seem to score quite a bit of money/sweets in there so they quite look forward to it.

I know a lot of people who are creeped out by wakes etc but I find them quite reassuring/comforting.

Gwendoline I always remember a scene in a drama about the life of Sean O'Casey where as a child he was expected to kiss his dead father and really didn't want to. His mother just took him gently to the coffin and told him just to put his little finger on the wooden edge of the coffin. Much kinder.

OP, your ds won't have even known it was a dead body so I think you are worrying just a little too much. He'll be fine.

Apparently when I was about 3 or 4 I saw a dead bull bleeding out behind the butchers shop. I don't remember. Although, on an old thread viewed a naked Lorraine Kelly and that has been burned into my brain and I will never forget it. I'm sure your ds will be ok.

SauvignonBlanche I am quite happy to be told I am being unreasonable infact thats why I asked the question in the first place to find out if the issue was with me or if other people would feel the same way. However I was a bit shocked to be told I am being disrespectful. I am not sure how privatley feeling a little bit unsure about OH's actions can be discribed as direspectful. I obviously have not told him or any of his family I felt this way and yes I do think it helped him go and see his Grandad by having DS2 with him. I can't help that the thought of DS2 having seen a dead body a bit wierd thats just the way I feel (probably as a result of being one of those sheltered children who have never seen a dead body in my life) Please do not tell me I am being disrespectful about OH's Grandad DS's Great-Grandad who has just passed away after a long illness and whose death we are all still coming to terms with.

Thank you everyone for your comments they have been helpful.

Sauv what a disgusting comment, you should be ashamed of yourself. Op Yanbu.

Well I can see I am well in the minority here but I too think it's weird. Of course he won't remember it and I think the right word is weird, rather than wrong or bad or even really disturbing. I think it all depends on personal experiences, I've managed to get to the age of 40 without seeing a dead body so I guess it is a bit taboo for me.

The whole body in the front room thing........shudder.

I think we are too prudish about death in the UK generally, I've never seen the body of a relative after death but I can see how it might help to say "Goodbye" properly.

YABU, your DS won't remember.
When my Gran died DD aged 3 demanded to come see her, a friend of mine asked her why she wanted to see a dead body, DD replied "Because she's my dead body!" :o

I apologise OP if I have misinterpreted your thread title.
My first reaction on seeing "AIBU to be a bit wierded out that my OH took DS2 (11 Months) to see dead body?" was that it seemed disrespectful when I realised it was one of your DH's relatives.
That was clearly not intentional and I should have paused before reacting - sorry.

SauvignonBlanche apology gratefully received and accepted

Death is natural, I'm with the let it lie contingent.

Why hide from such a fact of life?

YABU. Do you never watch the news when your 11mo is in the room? Think its fine, he won't be harmed.

DH took DC to see his dead dad's body when DC were 5, 7 & 9. They thought it was interesting (not emotionally close). I think we shield kids from death too much.

My dcs saw both their much-loved granparents after death at 2,5,9 and 13 years of age.
We had a service around the coffin with all grandchildren from 18mths to 15 present, it was not 'wierd'.