...to have just said to my tiny, screaming, 8 week old baby

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"darling, in the nicest possible way you're just going to have to get over it, there's nothing Mummy can do".

In my defence, he's fed, changed, we've had a really nice play, a nice walk in the sunshine, he was sitting on my knee being cuddled at the time and 5:15pm is just too early for the wtiching hour!

Seems to be evening colic by the way, gorgeous happy baby most of day, screaming monster from around 5:30/6ish every evening depending on when his late afternoon feed happens.

at that stage I was overheard to shout "shut the fucking fuck up with the fucking crying!"

not my finest hour.

I see you went to the same school of parenting that I did Winter

I am now a reasonable parent to a 4YO but by god I loathed the newborn phase

I also went to that school winter !!!
I am a rational, pleasant parent now though!

I showed my grizzly 5mo DS the mug of (hot, for a change) tea I was drinking this morning, and said very firmly ''Mummy is drinking her tea. You see this tea? Mummy is drinking it. Be quiet while mummy drinks it''

Fuck me it worked! I will be making the tea speech tomorrow morning aswell, god I hope that wasn't a one-off.

are you? I haven't achieved rational or reasonable yet and I have 3 of them!

Not what you'd call a natural parent I'm afraid.

Hush little baby here too. One of the rhymes I made up involved mummy pouring a glass of wine That was during 10 weeks of hell with DD1. I'm sure there were a lot of swear words too. DD2 is two weeks old and colic kicked in on Friday. I spent Saturday morning in tears at the thought that history is repeating itself. All please pray for me that my over-supply calms down and DD2 doesn't have wind for eternity 12 weeks.

When DS was 9 weeks old (now 16 weeks) I may have snarled at him, in the middle of Tesco "For FUCKS sake child, will you just shut the FUCK up." He stopped, smiled and fell asleep! I got rollicked by an old lady though...

The best piece of advice my HV ever gave me was that it isn't what you say to a baby but the way you say it.
We've spent many an hour telling DC when younger all the things we'd like to do to them when they wouldn't sleep all in nice voices with forced smiles on our faces!

Winter - I swear less now. When he's listening anyway

Mumofaflump Oh no how awful! You must have been so embarrassed!

I have said far worse, fortunately dd only picked up on the stop being a cheeky monkey, I have squarked back at him in the middle of the night and asked him what that hell he wanted from me.

Still do occasionally but only when no one else is listening.

Oh and I have been known to tell him to shut up in the middle of the night - in not a very nice way , ss are coming round now aren't they

When ds2 was 4 days old we were sitting on the sofa trying to get him to latch on (had been expressing up to then) and I said 'Now come along, ds2. If you don't do this properly we'll have to go to The Clinic tomorrow for the lady to help us. You don't want that, do you?'

And the little bugger darling latched on straightaway. Who knew he'd just been waiting for the right threat...

Colditz
YANBU by the way op. DS is 11 weeks and at 5am this morning I found myself asking him what the fuck was the matter only for him to smile and coo at me little sod bless him.

I'm ok with dd 10 wks, its dh who gets it, ''I never wanted another baby! my life is ruined'' etc etc.

All untrue btw! Must admit I find wine helps!

PlopPlopPing I was rather! Hasn't stopped me swearing though!

Colditz, I knew it would be the Tim Minchin song before I clicked!

I've said much worse. Not always in a nice tone of voice, either. DS2 is past his colicky stage now, I think, but now seems to have teething (?) strops almost every time he feeds. I have told him several times that I'll withdraw booby priviledges and he can have a bloody bottle.

Tiny babies are so ... tedious. People forget this when they go on about their squishiness, the gummy smiles, the tiny vests. They are boring, exhausting and you cannot put the buggers down. Ever.

But, reshape isn't it so much better than being pregnant? I'll take colic, night feeds and tedium over heartburn, piles, nausea and inability to bloody move any time .

I was going to suggest putting him in a carrier and going for a brisk walk...but you are doing that already....xxxx

Take care.....

If it makes you feel any better ds 8mo this morning was poking me in the eye and I told him in no uncertain terms to pack it in as I wanted to sleep!

PMSL

You've all just made me remember when me and ExP took the kids to the park one day.

We were sat there feeding the ducks when we saw a woman with a pram just walking around and around and around the pond.

Bless her no matter what she did the baby would not sleep, as she passed us for about the 32nd time we heard her mutter to herself "I love my child, I love my child, I love my child" over and over again.

'The best piece of advice my HV ever gave me was that it isn't what you say to a baby but the way you say it.'

So true, DiscoDaisy. As a child I never understood why the words of many nursery rhymes (rock-a-by baby etc) are so horrid. Post-DS I get it!

Nope completely normal op.....my DS was awful at that age from 5-7pm, i used to cry at 4.40pm in anticipation! We were FF at that stage too and we switched to Dr Browns bottles, was a life saver, i had tried the cheaper alternative before that but not the same.

Hope it all settles down for you soon!

at the tea speech

molesmesses that could easily have been me

I didn't get to put my PFB DS down until he was 12, gripey, colicky misery guts...

The teens is a breeze quite frankly