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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be very sad, throwing out maternity and baby clothes

25 replies

exhausted2011 · 18/04/2011 14:37

I had kept some stuff, hoping I would get a chance to wear/use it again.
I'm 41, just starting a split from H, it's never going to happen.
Sob, sob.
Need to keep going so I don't lose it.

OP posts:

Dropdeadfred · 18/04/2011 14:39

AWwww don't throw them out just now...just leavethem alone an go out and do something else.

Northernlurker · 18/04/2011 14:39

Oh dear

Sorry about the split - you're right to get rid of the stuff though. Can you sell some on e-bay and buy something just for you with the money?

Dropdeadfred · 18/04/2011 14:52

why put yourself through this now?

Watertight · 18/04/2011 14:52

Of course YANBU

I remember several tear-stained trips to the second-hand baby stuff shop when I got rid of the pram, cot etc. Whatever the circumstances and however certain you are, it's a peculiar and painful experience and and, I'm sure, very normal to grieve the end of your baby days.

Really sorry to hear about your split. None of this can be easy.

Definitely think about selling any stuff that you could get some cash for and perhaps donate the rest to a women's refuge? Might make you feel a little better to know that your bits and pieces are going to help a girl in difficult circumstances and her kids?

Also, is there anyone who could hold your hand while you do this? Lovely friend/ sister etc?

Original poster

exhausted2011 · 18/04/2011 15:07

I didn't mean to sort them out today. I have to sort out all our stuff to go in new wardrobes we had made. Have to finish it now cos stuff is everywhere. I just wanted to get organised but stupidly opened the maternity box.
I'm keeping a few of ds's special baby things, but all the rest has to go.
I can't believe it. I am more upset about this than H.
I will be better without him, but still a bit stressful
just had a good cry.

OP posts:

manfromCUK · 18/04/2011 15:13

YANBU - we did this recently and it brought a tear to my eye too - we won't be having any more.

paddypoopants · 18/04/2011 15:18

I'm 42, have 1 ds who took years to conceive and it doesn't look my fertility has improved any. I had to give my baby stuff to my SIL a month ago. I was really surprised how upset I was knowing that I'd probably never see it again. My dh had to prise the sling out of my hands. I did hide the playmat at the back of the understairs cupboard.
I don't think SIL is even grateful.
A good bawl will make you feel better. Have a geriatic hug from me.

paddypoopants · 18/04/2011 15:19

I meant geriatric - obviously.

fatlazymummy · 18/04/2011 16:21

I still have some of the clothes that all 3 of my babies wore. They're in a little plastic box under my bed and I still take them out now and again .[Didn't have any maternity clothes]. OP why not keep a few little bits and pieces, and donate the others to a good cause.
I did give quite a few things away to a young Mum who needed them, and it was nice to know that another baby was using them.

boohoohoo · 18/04/2011 16:41

I can totally understand your upset, I'm 40, would desperately like one more, had dd when I was very young, didn't meet dh until my mid thirties. We have had a ds, but would love one more shot at it but it doesn't seem to be happening.

Can't offer any help but will join you in a little cry!

GwendolineMaryLacey · 18/04/2011 16:44

I'm dreading having to do that. I've got prams and clothes all over the place, am pushing 40 and no sign of a sibling for dd. Rapidly losing hope and one day soon I'll have to get rid of all this stuff that it feels like I've only just bought.

Blatherskite · 18/04/2011 16:54

I don't think I could have gotten rid of my stuff unless I was giving it to my DSis to use on her babies. I still get sad that those things will never be on one of mine again.

It's a very sad process even after you've decided to not have any more. I feel for you Op

Original poster

exhausted2011 · 18/04/2011 17:02

this is so sad, I think I am the saddest I have ever been

I have baby box, breast pump, steriliser. Baby gym, baby mat,bumbo, moses basket. A couple of big toys.
a big bag of maternity clothes and a big bag of baby clothes

have just bagged it all up for now.
will work on trying to get it to go to a good home

OP posts:

Watertight · 18/04/2011 19:09

I'm so sorry.

Original poster

exhausted2011 · 18/04/2011 22:25

Thank you all.

OP posts:

berylmuspratt · 18/04/2011 22:57

I'm in the same boat as paddypoopants my niece recently got married and said she'd like to try for a baby soon. I think this might be the time for me finally to let some of our stuff go and admit to myself that after an ectopic pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage last year, we will stop at our lovely DS. It is hard though isn't it :(

Reindeerbollocks · 18/04/2011 23:03

Keep the important bits, in a nice box, get some fancy wrapping paper and put together a nice collection of the baby items you've chosen to keep, so they feel really treasured IYSWIM.

Sorry you're going through a rough time, please be kind to yourself lovely, have a cry (and some chocolate if you have any).

Undutchable · 18/04/2011 23:05

I've just given all mine away because we've moved and no longer have room. I sold some, some went to friends and gave some to a Polish orphanage and the rest went to the charity shop. I potentially could have more but know my baby days are over. It hurt like hell even though it's my choice to have no more, so YANBU to find it hard now.

HipHopOpotomus · 19/04/2011 04:51

I'm 43 and 38 weeks pg. Got Isabella Olivia catalogue in the post today and felt really sad I'd never have need to buy maternity clothes again (and this from someone in fed up stage of being pg!)

I hear you OP

Original poster

exhausted2011 · 19/04/2011 09:37

HipHop, I'm so jealous!!

I'm going to turn into one of those women who cried at the sight of a pg woman or a newborn baby!!

OP posts:

HipHopOpotomus · 19/04/2011 09:52

Blimey I posted that at 5am-ish (sleepless night) and then thought I may have been a little insensitive!!! Sorry I didn't mean to be exhausted - your post struck a note with me. The sadness at holding a maternity catalogue when it would never be relevant to me again ............ After DD was born I held onto stuff, this time it will all be given away or sold as soon as we no longer need it :(

Original poster

exhausted2011 · 19/04/2011 09:59

oh, not at all HipHop, I was joking!
just make the most of it, and remember it all.
i think I'm sad as well because I can't remember how it felt, can't remember the kicking. I know it felt amazing though!

OP posts:

Danthe4th · 19/04/2011 10:04

I get sad at having to part with my ds's age 3 shorts from last year, knowing that I won't be passing them down to another sibling, but if I don't start getting rid of stuff then my roof is in danger of collapsing!! I just hate parting with anything the children grow out of, toys that they have all played with at the back of my mind I always had hope of having 1 more child.
I'm 44 soon with 4 children, my oldest is 16 today!! and your post made me want to cry,sob!!

Turtlesmile · 19/04/2011 12:19

Haven't posted before but just wanted to say, please keep a few bits and pieces if you can. My mum and mil kept things (fortunate in having lofts!). Mum at least was hoping for another baby that never happened. However, we're all now loving seeing things used again by our dd, 15 weeks. DH and I feel we're passing on things we loved from our childhood and the grandparents love seeing all the baby stuff again (without the lack of sleep or nappy changing!)

womma · 19/04/2011 13:46

Of course you're not! It's a sad thing to do, and you sound like you're having a hard enough time already. Please don't be too ruthless though, save some bits and take care of yourself.

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