To be peeved off I've discovered CMs DH smokes in the home

[sheeplikessleep]

DS1 has been going for 2 years and DS2 just started. I smelt something this morning, that smelt like stale smoke and asked her if anyone in house smokes.

She said her DH does, but not in front of kids , evenings and weekends.

To be honest, I have always just dropped DSs off at door. My DH said he has sometimes smelt it, but I always thought he was imagining it.

I'm looking for another CM. I feel peeved off, at myself mostly, for not asking. I guess if someone smokes in a home and uses it for childminding, that they would tell prospective parents?

YABU.

She said he smokes in an evening and on a weekend - whats the issue? Your childrne are not their in the evening and at a weekend - are they?

YANBU and I am suprised the cm doesn't realise that will upset people.

(on another forum I used CM = cervical mucas! )

YANBU. It is something that you should take into account as a factor that is important to you. You sound like a caring mum so I am sure you will weigh up all the pros and cons about moving CM and when would be a good time. Being in a house with stale cigarette smoke is most unpleasant and I wouldn't wish it on my DC. Mind you, the smell of air freshener is possibly even worse and just as damaging to health....I guess they often go together. But remember that no CM is going to be perfect and your next one might fall down elsewhere......

For me this would be an non-issue and I would consider moving a child from a CM I was otherwise happy with and with whom my DC was happy an over-reaction. However, it's clearly important to you.

As for whether you're being unreasonable to be peeved at the discovery, well, I think that you are a bit. The onus is upon you to ask these sort of questions before employing a CM and besides, given that it's taken you 2 years to make the discovery and that the DH only smokes in the evenings and weekends in his own home, I can't see quite what there is to be peeved about.

But, each to their own - your child, your choice.

Sorry, I was distracted by a mad cat and loopy DD. I meant that I wouldN'T consider moving my DC.

Tbh I'd more worried about mobile phones and wireless broadband etc.

Does her website/your contract say anything about her setting being a non smoking environment? Mine does, a few times! (I am a CM).

I would NEVER consider taking my child to a CM who has a smoking environment, for health reasons and because of the smell.

He is actually being highly unreasonable I think, smoking in a home he knows is a business during the day where his wife cares for children.

Maybe you could have a chat with her re your concerns? See what her reaction is and gauge by that what your next step should be?

scratches head you ok, fabby? Just seems like an odd thing to say...

YANBU

Even though my DH smokes (though always outside) when I was choosing a childminder I went for a non-smoker in the end...two of the CMs I interviewed admitted they smoked but not in the house, but their houses did smell of smoke - whereas our house might smell of a lot of things :), but smoke isn't one of them. Also if they are on their own with the children and they go outside to smoke, who looks after the kids? This, and the dishonesty aspect actually worry me more than the smoking itself.

Thanks all for posting, I'm going to check her contract, but I'm guessing she will have just left it out.

Interesting to hear everyones views. I know some feel I am over-reacting, but I personally wouldn't want to spend all day in a smokers house and I don't want DS2 to be exposed to it either. I am so annoyed with myself for not asking initially. Anyway, I am not comfortable with continuing to send DS2 there, so I need to try to find another! Thanks all for posting.