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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to object to seeing "bear in mind I am pg and hormonal" being trotted out as an excuse for unreasonable behaviour on this forum?

53 replies

bibbitybobbityhat · 17/04/2011 22:28

If you are pregnant you can be feeling sick/tired/anxious/have spd etc

BUT - does it let you off the hook for behaving like a primafuckingdonna?

I think not.

OP posts:
MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 17/04/2011 23:03

bibbity - YANBU! I object to people making excuses for being downright rude!

VajazzHands · 17/04/2011 23:05

Pregnancy affects women in all ways. feel lucky it didn't affect you that way and stop being unreasonable. Hormones are real and many women suffer from serious depression and sucidal thoughts too. Pretending it isn real is bull shit.

The correct response to a pregnant women losing the plot, is a very firm "you are being hormonal, chill". And then walk away

VajazzHands · 17/04/2011 23:06

*"and many pregnant women suffer" that should say

dreamingbohemian · 17/04/2011 23:21

bibbity, sorry, so are you saying that the menopause may make you do unreasonable things, but in that case you would just apologise straightforwardly and not mention the hormones?

Or are you saying that even though you are hormonal, you don't do anything unreasonable?

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 17/04/2011 23:25

I would say - apologies I know I AM being unreasonable (if called for).

OP posts:
ShakinSharon · 18/04/2011 00:17

YANBU. I got through my final year of a pure maths degree when I was pg with DS, and wrote up my PhD when pg with DD. Honestly, I don't understand why other women can't be as hard-working and think as logically like I did.

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 18/04/2011 00:27

YABU in that hormones do affect your mood this is why anti depressants contain seratonin (a hormone)

Ps I'm currently pg and hormonal although seems to make me cry a lot rather than be angry or rude (I only cry when pregnant)
Grin

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 18/04/2011 00:31

Oh and in case of baby brain I cost myself 3 mobiles and a laptop while pg with DS
This time I won't go near electronics in my last trimester it's just too expensive

glitteryturd · 18/04/2011 00:31

I am a mega bitch at all moments. Well not in my real life, but on here I only have to glance at the posts and replies to turn into a complete bitch and want to pull hair and scratch.

I am pretty sure most people on here are sane but behind a pc they think they can say what they like, and they do.

helibee · 18/04/2011 00:33

I do think occasionally people use it on the AIBU forums as a 'please don't flame me because I'm pg and hormonal' and then go on to not accept that they are being unreasonable.

However it can be a perfectly legitimate excuse but people can still admit to being unreasonable. I was a hormonal wreck this evening and very snappy and in a cleaning frenzy. However I can still admit that I was being unreasonable to my dh who very nicely asked me to sit down and i glared at, wielded a washing up brush to and told him I was never talking to him again as he and ds seemed to make a mess wherever they walked. I was just hormonal, blooming PMT but if I had started an AIBU thread then I wouldnt expect to use that as an excuse, except maybe with a big Grin

marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 08:28

It never made me rude, just very, very sensitive. A prime example would be the day I scrubbed our bathroom clean, 9 months gone and crippled with SPD, then DH came in and spray-painted the bathroom mirror with toothpaste whilst cleaning his teeth.

I wailed like I'd just been told everyone I
knew had been brutally murdered by an axe-wielding psychopath. Then tried to flounce but got stuck at the end of my street, sobbing on a wall, until DH found me and gently escorted me home. Blush

Cattleprod · 18/04/2011 08:33

I've only noticed that excuse being trotted out when people are asking for opinions on ridiculous baby names. Other people also accuse preg women of being hormonal if they have chosen an unusual name that they don't like.

CrapBag · 18/04/2011 10:33

YABU.

I can't take bad critism at the moment as DD is 10 weeks and I have PND. I say I am feeling hormonal and fragile so I don't get a pasting sometimes about something that may bother me but may be very trivial to others.

People on here can be very blunt and sometimes my hormones won't take it.

Guitargirl · 18/04/2011 10:36

YANBU - it's something I hate too. I was also a bit Hmm at my friend who tried to blame 'baby brain' for forgetting her Dad's birthday. Her DS was nearly 2 at the time!

NinkyNonker · 18/04/2011 10:39

I was a little tearful at times, and still am more than normal 8 months on! But no more than that. If anything, I was more loved up etc. And more efficient, as I knew I had to get qualified before dd appeared so was working my huge inflated little bum off at work!

LaWeasel · 18/04/2011 10:44

As long as you accept you were being bonkers later it's fine.

I cried and cried about the (second hand) rug in our sitting room being dirty and not being able to clean it properly at 5 weeks PG and made my (now)husband take it to the tip.

I know it was completely OTT now. But I was very stressed and worried at the time and DH being reasonably sympathetic even though he also, knew I was being very odd, means a lot.

LLKH · 18/04/2011 11:39

Maybe some women post about their hormones because they suspect that they're being oversensitive and want to be sure that this is the case? OTOH, perhaps some total smeghead has done something completely unreasonable and, when the woman objected, told her she was being hormonal so she posts to check if she is.

Point being, surely some women mention it for clarification and not as an excuse?

nickelbaalamb · 18/04/2011 11:41

I am looking forward to being able to have a random rant and put it down to hormones.

I get quite frustrated at having to hold it in and be all grown up sometimes.

Pollyanna80 · 18/04/2011 11:52

Here here OP. I suffered from the tears when I was pregnant, but there are too many people who say "it's pregnancy hormones". My friends and I were discussing a mutual aquaintance yesterday who thinks it's ok to treat people like shit, cause problems, act hysterically 24/7 and generally be a bitch all because "I'm pregnant and it's my hormones making me do this". To be honest she was like that before she got pregnant hency why she is just an aquaintance.

Fair enough some people really do suffer badly with pregnancy hormones and I feel for them as it's such a stressful time as it is without having these seesaw emotions, but too many people use them as an excuse to hide their insanity meaning that the true sufferers get eye rolls instead of sympathy.

Bucharest · 18/04/2011 11:54

Definitely NBU.

chocolatecoveredrationalist · 18/04/2011 12:19

YANBU - if posters feel the need to post that as a disclaimer then they should delete the entire post - wonder if MN could set up a script to do so...

marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 12:21
CrapBag · 18/04/2011 19:32

Thanks for the tea. Grin

No puffy ankles for me, lost the weight very easily this time. Grin

dontjumpplease · 18/04/2011 19:42

I had a 20 minute rant at DH while 7 months pregnant because he was grating cheese the 'wrong' way. Grin Blush

I kind of knew Iwas being a 'little' irrational, but it seemed so important at the time... Angry

nickelbaalamb · 19/04/2011 11:27

DH out the milk on my Special K wrongly this morning.
I was not happy.
I'm only 8 weeks.