to think DH should stick his mini rolls where the sun don't shine?

[macaronfan]

I'm two weeks out from surgery which ended up being much more complicated than expected. I spent almost a week nil by mouth and am now, back home, on fluids only for the forseeable (at least a few weeks). Also in loads of pain but that's not the issue just at the moment (though is probably a factor in my irritability).

We've had to send the DCs to the GPs as I am so much sicker than expected and DH has to work. The special drink I have (basically complan I think but not branded), is horrible and I am fucking sick of it. I am generally speaking a bit of a foodie and am fairly miserable about not being able to eat for the next few weeks (and maybe having to avoid some foods forever).

I slept most of the day and woke up to DH saying he has to head straight out for a gig he's going to with friends. Okay, fine. He's been making the most of not having the DCs around and has cooked for himself lots of stuff they/I don't like - camembert last night, prawns for lunch etc. Sirloin steak ready for tomorrow, fresh tuna, oh it looks lovely. Puy lentils with bacon and special dressing (my favourite, I even told him how to make the dressing from my sickbed). He's having a great time. The cock. But no, it's fine, he has to eat and why shouldn't he make the effort to enjoy it?

But I just looked in the fridge and it's full of fucking MINI ROLLS, which are my second favourite crappy guilty pleasure (after tunnock's tea cakes), and he is going to eat them ALL and I can't have ANY and I want to throw my stupid complan at him.

But he's out for the night and I have these fucking mini rolls staring at me every time I open the fridge for my bowel rest fluid nutrition. Couldn't he at least have the decency to eat the mini rolls in the cupboard under the stairs or something?! Cock.

Can I liquidise mini rolls?

He doesn't sound like a man packed full of empathy, I have to say. Does he have any imagination at all?

bit of milk, blend them up. mmmmnnnnnnnnnnn :)

Not sure, but in your situation I'd be bloody tempted to try. Hope you feel better soon.

No. You can't.

But you can open a corner up and shake some chilli powder into every single mini roll.

I would say dip them in the loo, but then they'd be noticeably soggy.

Awww, thats harsh, he is torturing you.

What I can suggest though, daft as it might sound.. try Slimfast shakes. They are a meal replacement, and the chocolate one is really rich, and does satisfy the choc craving. The cafe latte one is also bloody nice.

I can't eat the fuckers even if I did liquidise them, have been told there will be dire consequences if I try to eat anything apart from this fucking complan shit.

DH has been mostly lovely but last night he wanted to know if I was up for going to the cinema!! Um, NO! He also wants us to drive to his parents - 4 hours away - for the bank holiday weekend and then on to a holiday park thing with swimming pool and activity centre - I can barely walk let alone stop the DCs drowning while DH goes on the bloody waterslides!

The mini rolls though, nnnnngh!

I would accidentlyknock over the urine sample the gp requested all over the mini-rolls and say you had to bin them.

Oh dear poor you. You are not being unreasonable for feeling sorry for yourself ! Does your fluid diet include wine? Hope you feel better soon.

You could melt them?

squeakytoy, thanks for the suggestion - I am not allowed ANY sugar right now but if the liquid diet persists past that restriction I will try it out!

Ah, sorry, just saw your other post - poor you, sounds miserable.

No wine allowed (so DH has been finishing it off by himself, arrrrrgh). Apparently I'll shit myself if I eat sugar (sorry for TMI - it's called rapid gastric emptying syndrome or something?), so I can't even lick a mini roll.

HATE HIM AND HIS FUCKING MINI ROLLS. And he's out for the evening so I can't even throw them at him one by one.

Hide them, and when you're allowed them again, nosh them all? Sounds miserable, hope you make a speedy recovery.

As someone who went on a very strict (self imposed) diet a few years back while married to someone who likes to eat doughnuts at eleven at night because he's peckish and who has never suffered with his weight in his life, may I recommend finding a syringe and injecting every single mini roll with TCP?

No YANBU. When I had to give up brown chocolate because it gives me migraines my dh wouldn't eat galaxy as it's my favourite. Definately chilli powder in the corner, or a small note with a saying these are my favourites so he feels too guilty to enjoy them. The pain must be getting you down. Can you talk to the doctor to get better pain relief? Maybe if you were more comfortable you would not feel so sad. My Dad had bowel surgery and special food and a colostomy bag, which then was reversed so more bowel surgery, and when he was in pain he was as unhappy as you. He even moaned that the man who had the same surgery as him but had terminal bowel cancer was allowed to eat anything he liked. That is not my Dad it was the pain talking. If you get the really good pills you'll be too high to care about mini rolls!

Haha, I actually have syringes knocking about so the TCP idea could be a goer - or maybe lactulose ;)

I rang him up and wailed down the phone at him. He said he supposed it was a bit thoughtless and he'd be sure to eat them all tonight so I don't have to look at them any more

spanky you're right, I'm sure the pain (and the surprise), is a part of it. I am wondering if I should ask him to have a day on the complan shit as a show of solidarity? Might make him a bit more empathetic.

Do you not have any urine samples in fridge??

Slimfast is pretty much the same ingredients as complan. Check it out with your doctor, as when my dad was recovering from a major op, which involved mouth surgery, and meant he couldnt have any solids, and had to try to keep his weight built up, but with good nutrition, he was told to have them. They have improved a lot since then and really do taste good if you get the ready made shakes.

They have artificial sweetener in them, if that is ok for you to take.

squeakytoy, what I have is not complan, just saying it's complan-like for ease of expression. It's a special preparation made up by the hotel. Has sucralose but no real sugar. and is 30g protein a go. AFAIK slimfast has real sugar in. But thanks for the info :) I hope your dad made a full recovery!

cheekey no urine samples in the fridge, no - nobody seems to care about my wee (other than that I'm doing some) - and I'm not so cross with DH that I'd try and make him eat a stool sample

Well no, but I think I might be tempted to say that you were so frail through hunger that you are not sure if your stool sample accidentally tipped onto his chocolate rolls?? In all innocense of course

Now that would be love, wouldn't it, having to give up prawns and steak for bland astronaut dehydrated/rehydrated thick drink!