AIBU?
to feel like I should have done something?
missmyoldname · 17/04/2011 17:43
Was getting into my car next to a woman who was walking to her car with her husband/partner and approx 4yo daughter (presumably), and heard the her having a real go at her DD. Thought nothing of it as it is not unusual for me to have words with my 4yo DD about poor shopping behaviour!
Then they all started getting into the car next to me and I heard the following:
Mother: 'Get into the car you fucking little retard.'
And then shouted at her husband 'Did you see that? She caught my fucking finger in the door, stupid fucking bitch!.'
Door then slammed shut and I could just hear muffled shouting.
I just sat there worrying about what to do, and whether the little girl was ok and then ended up driving off. The people looked quite menacing IYSWIM, and I was worried at the time that if I confronted them they might get violent and I had DD and DS with me.
However, once I drove off I felt terrible, and stupidly hadn't had the presence of mind to take a number plate.
Can't stop thinking about that poor little girl. What would you have done? I feel terrible.
WhatOnEarthIsIt · 17/04/2011 18:03
I don't think you could have said anything either. I wouldn't because I would fear the woman taking her anger at me out on the child. I might have taken a vehicle reg if I'd thought of it - but when something horrible like that happens I always think of the easiest best course of action after the event. i once saw a girl slapped across the face. To my shame I did nothing but gasp in horror. i have replayed that moment again and agian over the years with a hundred different endings. I think if it happened again I'd be more prepared and I'd know what to do - but at the time I was just dumbstruck.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
chocadoodle · 17/04/2011 18:08
It's awful to witness something like this. Unfortunately I don't think you could have made a difference by saying anything. Likely you would have made things worse for the child.
As you haven't got the number plate there is nothing you can do about it now. Hopefully they will be reported by someone at some point who does have their details and they will be dealt with appropriately.
Poor girl though 
but OP I think you need to try and forget about this incident since there isn't anything you can do to change it. Agonising over it will just make you miserable.
ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 17/04/2011 18:12
It makes you feel sick doesn't it.
I would have taken their reg and reported them to the police - I wouldn't have confronted them because I'm a wimp I would, like you, have worried about the children I had with me.
What I would have wanted to do would have been to pick the little girl up and take her home, then send someone around to 'sort out' the adults!!
But you can't beat yourself up about it, you were shocked and didn't get the reg, I doubt there's much you can do without that :(... hmm, unless the carpark has CCTV?? I'd be asking!
eaglewings · 17/04/2011 18:12
Sadly this happens, saw a mum scream at her approx 3 year old today who was cycling along the road in front of Mum's car, or rather wasn't cycling but crying. I too did nothing :(
2 months ago a friend was in Asda when she heard a Dad shout at his daughter and plucked up the courage to confront him. He had a coffee with her and 2 weeks later he and his OH started parenting classes. I still have no idea how she did it!!!
Nancy66 · 17/04/2011 18:26
it's sad but there's not much you could have done.
I intervened once when I heard a mother having a go at her son in a shop - calling him a cunt and saying she hopes he gets run over.
she just ended up shouting at me and spitting in my face.
Later occurred to me that i may have made things worse - poor kid was probably blamed for me trying to help him.
There's some shit parents around and it's horrible when you witness it first-hand
missmyoldname · 17/04/2011 18:27
I would never compare this to someone just snapping in an out of character way. I am prone to the more shouty side of parenting I'm afraid 
, but this was really awful. Real anger and agression, and all this in a public, fairly busy carpark. God knows what they would be like in their own home.
ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 17/04/2011 18:36
Miss - it's really really horrible isn't it. One day I was getting into my car and I heard this guy shouting, f'ing and blinding.... and I looked up (as you do) assuming I'd see his wife/girlfriend trailing behind him - but no, he was calling this wee dot of a thing (about 3) all kinds of things... absolutely revolting language and he said to her (in the end) that if she didn't fucking get in the car now he'd slam her into next week... he slammed the door and sped off - no car seat, nothing. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get his licence plate and it still plays on my mind from time to time 4 years later, I wonder how she's faring :(
GKlimt · 17/04/2011 18:44
I politely 'intervened' to offer help to a mother pushing her toddler about and twisting his ear.sad] Fortunately for me, I was able to jump off the bus when she started screaming in my face and raised her fist to hit me. Her little one had to go home with her.
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