to get worked up about staying at my MILs for the weekend?

[AbyCat]

I think I probably ABU so its really coping strategies & advice I'm after!
DH & I are due to stay at his mothers for the whole of the weekend & I'm getting all worked up & worried about it. I hate staying there at the best of times as they are a very strange family, totally different to mine, and DH just uses the weekend to catch up on sleep & let his mother wait on him hand & foot. I guess I can just ignore that for one weekend though.

I'm more worried about the loo situation - I'm 34 wks, & am getting up 5-10 times in the night to go to the loo. The only (ancient, noisy) loo upstairs is down a long creaky corridor next door to BIL & SIL's room, and the only other one is downstairs outside through a scullery. MIL won't let anyone put the lights on at night & gives us all a torch to use if we need to get up. SIL complains if anyone flushes the loo next to her room at night, & I'm terrified of falling down the stairs or tripping over the cat trying to make my way downstairs in the dark.

I did ask if we could swap bedrooms to be nearer the upstairs loo, but BIL& DH both say no, they can't sleep in the other's room. Have also suggested staying in a B&B nearby but that apparently will hurt MILs feelings. I just feel they don't understand what its like at the moment, & I'm getting stressed over such a little thing. Has anyone got any other suggestions? Or can you buy an adult potty? (oh yuk, but desperate times & all that!).

I'd consider buying them all a pair of earplugs and an eye mask. Switch the light on, maybe don't flush everytime if it's several times a night.

If all your dh does is laze around why are you even going? Jusg tel mil you are staying awH as your problems would mean sleepless nights for everyone... Then enjoy the peace!!!

Everyone else has made all the necessary points, but just felt I needed to add (and at the risk of sounding like some starstruck teenager!) ... OMG!

YANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNBU

I don't understand how putting a light on to go to the loo needs to wake anyone up. Why don't they sleep with their doors shut?

The flushing- well tough, it is only for a few nights. I really can't understand why your SIL is making such a fuss

I wasn't allowed to put the light on when using the bathroom at my brother's house last time I stayed as the extractor fan apparently might wake his DCs. I had to shower in the dark .

Some people obviously don't really subconsciously want visitors if they can't put themselves out just a teensy weensy bit. Yet OP they won't let you stay in a B and B. What is that all about?

OP I think you DH needs to address all this with his parents- at the moment you hold all the trump cards re visits in the future so it is not in their interests to upset you in any way.

I also feel very cross on your behalf. Your DH should be standing up for you and the baby.

Turn the light on,k flush the loo and if anyone complains you are quite justified in booking into a B&B.

There's no way I would be going. Have a girly weekend on your own at home and leave these nutters to themselves.

I'd say one last time as you arrive in a friendly way to SIL and BIL - 'are you two sure you wouldnt prefer to swap rooms? I'm up and down to the loo in the night like a yo yo at the moment and it might disturb you if you sleep in your usual room? I know you dont like to be disturbed and obviously I cant be creeping down stairs in the dark 10 times a night heavily pregnant! Up to you, I'm happy to swap if you think it might disturb you?'
Then if they say 'oh no, we'd prefer to keep our usual room' its their call and they cant say anything in the morning about the night time loo visits!!

Turn the light on. Id be inclined not to flush the loo and to try to make sure i left an enormous smelly poo for someone else to find in the morning....

Turn the light on. Id be inclined not to flush the loo and to try to make sure i left an enormous smelly poo for someone else to find in the morning....

YANBU, Followme's suggestion is good.
Your SIL & MIL sound nuts and your DH is being pretty rubbish as well.

Get one of these...

I would just turn the lights on and flush.

I would absolutely refuse to use a torch in that situation. Re flushing, I would ask if it can wait until morning to be flushed or just do that anyway.

Chances are you'll wake no one by putting the light on, so if you feel confident you'll do it - just do that. If you don't, I still wouldn't take the risk of using a torch several times a night and potentially falling. In that case I would stay elsewhere.

Your DH may be sensitive to the rules of the family house, but he should be putting your needs as a heavily pregnant woman first.

YANBU!! tell them all to feck off and then feck off some more. Am actually most shocked at your dh.Buying you a bigger torch? wtf?! Sorry but I would have shoved that torch some where the sun dont shine. Please please dont collude with their madness because you will end up regretting it in the long run.

I wouldn't go. Stay at home on the sofa eating ice cream. Seriously.

When I get up in the night (rare) I always use a torch - I don't want a bright lights on when i need to get back to sleep afterwards. I also don't flush the loo - why do you need to just for a wee?
Can't see the problem.

Turn the light on and flush the toilet! You are a grown woman, honestly!

Ask for a potty so you don't have to wake her up with the lights and the flush. I think she might give you an exemption to her normal rules.

Why will switching on the landing/corridor light wake everyone else up? Is it all bewilderingly open-plan upstairs or something?

Take up a handful of blindfolds and earplugs and hand them round with a beatific smile when you arrive.