Please help me - and be honest/ helpful.
I have always been what I now hear people descibe as 'an old fashioned parent'. What I mean is I expect DS (6.8yo) to be respectful of others and basically do as he's told/asked. I don't expect him to like it but I have very few 'rules' and these are for safety and enjoyment for everyone.
But compared to others my friends I come across as really strict, and DS is made to look like a naughty child, when in fact he's probably one of the better behaved, because I impose boundaries and sanctions when he crosses them ignores me. He now also responds very well to 'the look' 
It was what happened yesterday that has upset me and made me think. 
I went with a friend and our DC's 5,6,& 7 on the train to a country park. The DC's took their bikes. When they were there they could cycle as they pleased, play on the beach bit, we went through the woods etc. DS wanted to paddle which I was fine with. Friend told her dc's no because she had no towel (neither did I) and they had socks and trainers on (so did DS). I just let his feet dry and then brushed them off. She's also a bit of a worrier about them getting dirty whereas I don't.
So my point is I am very laid back when it comes to having fun, being out and about.
So on the way home we have to go through the town a bit and I told DS he had to walk his bike as too many people, risk of hitting them etc and friend tells hers the same. Hers carry on cycling and she halfheartly repeats for them to get off and then almost gives up except for the panicy mind the peoples called out repeatedly.
DS stopped his bike to walk but seeing the others carry on starts to pedal off again. So I went to him, stopped him, explained again why he couldn't cycle through town and made him get off.
Cue this sad looking face.
Get through town and let them ride again and as normal they are told to stay on pavement bit, and off the grass between it and the road. So they all start to race and keep going on grass and told again about pavement and dangers of being near road but they do it again. So I approach DS, ask him what he has done, tells me and I ask him what he was told would happen. He says I have to walk my bike, gets off and then continues to moan and cry about the consequence.
Now this is the bit where I get confused. Friend didn't stop her dc's again.
What should I do? I am really confused. She is my best friend, I don't want to parent like her as she ignores her dc's calling her names and hitting/ kicking her and I never want DS to think this is OK. But should I allow DS to get on with it when we're together? EG when they ignore and carry on should I just let it go if DS copies? I tell DS I do it because I love him and want to keep him safe so he knows why there are boundaries at times. But I really think he doesn't understand why he gets in trouble for fairly trivial things when others do worse and are just allowed to get on with.
WWYD?