to not want to go visting every single Sunday??

[SequinsAndSparkles]

Every single weekend, we go and visit DH's parents and grandparents. Without fail.

They live about half an hour away, and every single Sunday we visit them, or they come here. It's non negotiable.

We usually visit his parents first for an hour or two, they usually want to take DD out, that's fine. Then we go to his Grandparents for another hour or two and then come home and it's time for me to start making dinner, and it leaves time for nothing else really.

Now, I don't mind that we see them every weekend, I love them, and DD loves visiting them. But some days, I just want to stay at home and do the things I need to do, ironing, cleaning, taking my time making dinner etc. Otherwise it's a rush to fit all of these things in the rest of the time. I go usually three weeks out of four, but on the weekends I decide I'd like to stay behind and just get things done, DH's grandparents take it really personally. Surely it's not too much to ask that sometimes I can stay here and get things done in my own time? Surely what's important is that they see DH and DD? I don't get a minute to myself all week, I work part time, look after DD and have to help out my poorly Mum a lot too. And sometimes I'd just like a few hours to sort things out. I'm only staying behind to get some housework done and have dinner started...surely that's not being unreasonable??

Hi Sequins. This will probably come best from your DH. At the end of your next visit he can say something along the lines of:

'Thank you for having us, Sequins and I have decided that from now on we will be come over every fortnight. Good bye, see you in a couple of weeks'

Then walk out, no time for begging, sobbing etc. Repeat with GPs.

Dont apologise (you have to be nothing to be sorry about). Dont explain (that way it doesnt turn into an argument).

If they phone on the 'off' Sunday, keep it short and to the point. And basically repeat the message.

I'm sure that by making the visits fortnightly you will all enjoy them a lot more as there will be more to talk about.

OP-I´m guilty of not reading all of your first post

I think it´s ridiculous that you are expected to see parents & GPs every week.

If you´re OK for your husband & daughter to go without you then I don´t see why that should be a problem for anyone tbh.

For whom is it non negotiable?

i'll give you an example, my MIL rang yesterday and said she's doing sunday lunch so me, DP and DD should turn up about 2pm. i had already decided that i would be staying in today to get on top of the washing/housework and a bit of homework before i go back to college tomorrow, so i told her that i couldn't make it for these reasons. i could tell that she was rolling her eyes down the phone, but TBH i don't care. i told her that DP would probably just come along with DD.

just be honest, you don't need to please everyone, you'll only end up resenting them.

She's not staying at home to relax! She's catching up on chores -ironing, cleaning, not rushing to get dinner made...

Like I said before many people simply don't understand how hard it is to juggle home and work (and think that because it's only p/t work you easily do it all).

No waaaaaaaaaaaay would I do this week in week out!

It would feel like Sunday every day of the week!!!!

This is what I would do.....

'DH - let's go out for Sunday lunch, just the 3 of us next Sunday. You will have to tell your parents and Gparents that we wont be seeing them next week.'

Then once this big hurdle is over, ask them over once a month and go to them once a month - IF YOU WANT TO. If you dont want to then just tell them that.

GET A BACKBONE GIRL!

I may be a lone voice here, but I think once a month you should have a Sunday at home to catch up and once a month have a Sunday at home to relax and see your friends even

I am totally gobsmacked at how some parents and grandparents are!!

For years we lived in Scotland with both sets of our parents living in the Midlands, so not many visits

Now we live very close to my mum. We used to live just round the corner, my stepdad would give me a lift to and from work, and sometimes we would pop over to help each other out with bits that needed doing about the house etc. We have now moved just a few miles from my mum, a 5 min car drive and they come over every Sunday, but only for a few hours. They arrive between 2pm and half past and go about 4pm or half past, or when a football match has finished if there is one on! Sometimes it is a bit of a bind, not big though, I am sure if I said to my mum we were off doing something she wouldn't sulk about.

We now live in a flat so no garden and with the better weather coming, we will probably go to their's some sundays, we did when my stepdad was unable to drive after having surgery on his knee

Definitely need to reduce your visits! Good luck!!

When do you ever get to go out for Sunday lunch to friends, or a pub lunch? Or take a picnic to a National Trust property, or the zoo? Or just have a lazy day at home together having a late cooked breakfast and reading the papers while the kids watch TV in their PJs? It all sounds so hopelessly regimented, that's what would get me. You know exactly what is going to happen, every Sunday until god knows when. How depressingly predictable.

You are not being unreasonable at all.

i gave up on that a long time ago, now sunday is my day where i do a roast and spend quality time with the kids.

atm they are playing out the garden while i am on my sister laptop

Georgimama you're spot on, you said it perfectly.