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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I just don't want the dogs to stay

22 replies

WinkyWinkola · 16/04/2011 20:10

My poor old cat is on his way out. Back legs flopping etc. He is 17 after all but I am . He's off to the vet's next week for a check but I'm not optimistic at all.

First thing mil says when she hears is, "Oh good, I can bring the dogs down with me next time." Ah, the sensitive soul.

I don't want her dogs here at all. I like dogs but not her yappy ones that I'm convinced have made ds1 afraid of dogs in general.

Plus pil stay in a hotel when they're down here so they'd leave the dogs in our house. No doubt I'd end up having to walk them last thing at night and first thing in morning (our garden isn't secure) and I clear up enough crap as it is.

Plus she'll want to take the dogs on any day trips we do and it'll restrict our options somewhat i.e. we wouldn't be able to to the zoo or anywhere dog free.

The dogs usually go to a dog sitting woman when pil come to visit and they seem happy enough. Mil misses them for the three days she's away but that's life, isn't it?

Also, we will probably get cats again in due course and I don't want mil to think bringing her dogs is ok even when we get more cats.

I just feel it's a presumptuous imposition. Aibu to say you're welcome to come and visit but your dogs just aren't?

OP posts:

CarGirl · 16/04/2011 20:12

Yes it's okay to say you don't want her dogs to stay!

SugarPasteFrog · 16/04/2011 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PersonalClown · 16/04/2011 20:14

Tell her that her dogs aren't welcome. It's your house.
I wouldn't pitch up at your door with my 2 and expect you to allow them in.

Cheeky mare.

saffy85 · 16/04/2011 20:14

Pets are a personal thing imo. YANBU. You don't want them in your home so say tell them. Very bloody presumtious of your MIL to impose her yappy pooches on you.

MumInBeds · 16/04/2011 20:15

Just say no to the dogs, it's you're home, you are allowed to.

StayFrosty · 16/04/2011 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 16/04/2011 20:16

my dad is like this with his bloodt dog!! pisses me off!!

put your foot down now op.....

lettinggo · 16/04/2011 20:16

I've told my PILs that their (now deceased) yappy yorkie was not welcome at my house. She was one of those dogs that pees and poops on paper and that just made me sick to my stomach. They were mad because we have a dog of our own but I just wasn't happy about it.

Your house, your rules.

pjmama · 16/04/2011 20:16

Just say no. I wouldn't expect to be able to take my dogs to stay with anyone, especially if it meant imposing on them to walk them etc whilst I swanned off to a hotel. No is a complete sentence and YADNBU!

TidyDancer · 16/04/2011 20:17

She sounds like a nasty, insensitive piece of work. YANBU.

StayFrosty · 16/04/2011 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scuttlebutter · 16/04/2011 20:22

YANBU. We have three dogs. I would never assume they are welcome anywhere. My aunt, who we visit regularly, does not like them in her house. That's absolutely fine. I respect the fact she is upfront and that it is no problem between us. Obviously, she knows when she visits us, that there will be three dogs on the premises. My inlaws are fine with the dogs, and like having them to stay, after they have shrouded all the furniture in various elderly candlewick bedspreads

As others have said, stick to your guns, and make it clear politely and firmly that canine visitors are not welcome.

TidyDancer · 16/04/2011 20:27

Yes, I'd like to add how sorry I am about your cat as well. :(

Vallhala · 16/04/2011 20:44

YANBU at all and it's perfectly fine to tell MIL that it's just not possible for you to have her dogs stay.

I adore my dogs (and everyone else's come to that) but I don't expect anyone else to and I'd never be so rude to assume that they are welcome at someone else's house.

In my own home I can (and do) tell people that they're not welcome if they don't like dogs and that I don't expect them to assume I'll welcome them and put my dogs out of their way. I expect my rules to be respected. Similarly when in another person's home their rules should be respected and assumptions should not be made.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/04/2011 21:50

"Oh good, I can bring the dogs down with me next time."

I'm very for you. I hope your MIL realises what a plonker she's been.

jonasmcflonas · 16/04/2011 21:58

I HATE it when people assume I will welcome their dogs to stay. I don't expect people to welcome my children, particularly if I hadn't even mentioned I was bringing them. I have a friend who brings her dog without warning and it is a little stinking shitbag that pisses and shits in my house and leaves its vile hair everywhere. My friend just laughs about it as if it's no big deal. So my advice is to be honest, even though I am far too much of a wimp to do that with my friend!

rubyrubyruby · 16/04/2011 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocadoodle · 16/04/2011 22:24

YANBU, your Mum is VU

for your poor cat. It's always hard, even when they are old.

SugarPasteFrog · 17/04/2011 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 17/04/2011 16:16

YANBU I say that as a dog owner.

Sorry to hear about your cat I had to have one of mine put down last Tuesday

KatieWatie · 17/04/2011 16:21

YANBU. As a dog owner I'd be horrified if someone stoically 'put up' with my dog instead of just saying something. I always err on the side of caution with my dog when we're visiting people and say he's going in kennels by default, then if they say "oh no no just bring him it's fine!" then I will.

Also I can't BELIEVE they would just dump them on you and then go to a hotel, that's totally ridiculous. They chose to have the dogs not you, and when you take on a dog you have to be prepared to look after it whatever the circumstances. They sound REALLY unreasonable.

You need to nip this in the bud NOW and tell her you are happy with things how they are and the dogs not coming.

TheSmallClanger · 17/04/2011 17:12

That sounds like fairly odd behaviour to me. Why is you babysitting the dogs different to them being at the sitter? I'd say no - can you borrow adopt another cat just in case? Anyway, your dear old kitty might still be there!

Our dogs only go to other people's houses when they are invited.

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