to think this is unfair?

[kickingking]

To get straight to the point, SIL has forgotten my child's birthday three years in a row (DC is only 4). As in, no card or present, ignoring FB status updates about the birthday celebrations and photos of the birthday celebrations even though I know she has been on FB, never mentioning that she forgot.

She has four children and I send a card and pressie for them all, every year.

So, one of DCs is about to have a birthday over the Easter weekend. They will be with other relatives up here, so we have been asked to come and celebrate the birthday at a local attraction with them. So in addition to the present, we will be spending £50 on entry to this bloody thing.

I'm just fed up with making an effort to remember her DCs birthdays and trying to buy an age-appropriate present for them all (never had a thank-you for any of them, by the way) when they act as if my child doesn't have a birthday at all. DC is usually with me when I buy and post the cousins' presents and I fear it will not be long til DC notices that he never gets anything from them on his birthday.

DP says it's not important. Is he right?

If DP is refusing to tackle his rude sister then tell him that he can buy presents and cards for her dcs. You shouldn't be buying presents for his family!

I would also remember that I had made plans for Easter weekend. Theme park will be hideous at the weekend, premium prices and excessive crowds and queues especially if the weather is nice!

Yes I agree with everyone saying to just send a card for the children.

I'd have thought it depends on whether you want to buy presents for your nephews and nieces. If you don't then you have a good reason not to but if you like buying for them then it would be a shame not to just because of SIL.

I doubt very much she has 'ignored' your dc's birthday, she probably doesnt hold much store by all the fuss and expense. I dont think I've ever sent a card/present to my neice and nephews and I doubt very much whether their whole day has been ruined because Auntie Trifle didnt send anything. My family dont give a shit whether I send anything or not and if ever I;ve mentioned it my SIL says they have enough anyway.

I dont understand why you are being such a marytr about it, either send them stuff or dont. I doubt very much whether your children even notice unless of course you make a big song and dance about it which seemingly you do.

It's ridiculous to feel sleighted over something so pointless and trivial when your SIL probably couldnt give a shit. If your dp's family never acknowledge your birthday either then there's a strong indication that they just dont hold much store by these things.

Get over it.

I've got to a similar position with my SIL but on much fewer examples of shitness, I'm already now leaving it to my DH to get all presents/ cards now for her/ her family (and I'm petty enough too that I won't let him use cards from my stash for it either). I assure you my SIL does give a shit though- every Christmas/ birthday without fail we receive her kids wishlists for presents...

trifle, that really surprises me. Not even a card? I guess all families are different...

I sympathise. My bil "forgets" b'day presents for the children about 50% of the time. He anounced to his brothers that he had decided that they weren't swapping birthday presents... as he accepted their presents and they commented he hadn't given them anything for 2 years.
Mil noticed he hadn't sent anything for one of mine and commented, so I said that he "forgot" regularly, and she made disapproving noises, so I said that now he had a child I would value their present accordingly by how many presents he'd remembered.
Guess she mentioned this because suddenly he produced presents for those he'd "forgotten" and hasn't "forgotten" since.

I assume this is your dp's sister we're talking about?
I'm surprised, cos women are [usually] organised about buying for birthdays.
And the fact that her dc probably go to parties of kids at school, I'd be astounded if she wasnt buying gifts/cards for them either...
Do you want to stop with the gufts for her kids? If so, say to her, "I'm cutting back this year, cos all the gift-buying has become really excessive." Buy her kids sweets or something if you still want to acknowledge it.
Why not but her child an Easter egg? Theyre all on half-price offers just now, and in fact one supermarket is doing 3-for-1 on some of them, so you'd only have spent £1 on her child, but said child will be chuffed with an easter egg :)

Stop being a mug. I was in this situation until the lovely girls on Mumsnet put me straight. Do not buy them another thing. If your DH wants to, then fine. Just you don't do it.

Leave it to your DH to do card/present buying for his family.

I wouldn't go to the theme park either. Let your DH take DC if he wants to go.

What Marie said. Oooh it is vexing though

Some people are downright crap at birthdays. Some people don't make grown-up birthdays the most important event ever (I'm in that camp) but actually, none of it is worth getting upset over. Continue to send cards and bask in the glory of occupying the high moral ground.