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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with child kicking my seat for seven hours on plane?

112 replies

Jonnyfan · 15/04/2011 21:16

Just returned from Dubai. On flight a young child persisted in kicking/pushing feet into the back of my seat for much of the first couple of hours. Eventually politely asked mother, who was seated beside him, if she could try to stop him. She was most put out and replied that it was a long flight and difficult with children, (she had two other adults with her as well as two boys). She then moved him so that he was behind my DH, who then had severel hours of the same before politely commenting that it was very irritating behaviour. Mohter gave me the evils through the disembark/baggage reclaim. I travelled extensively with my children from four months onward and never felt that others should be made uncomfortable by them

OP posts:

hester · 15/04/2011 22:30

We'd still hate it, Mrs TP, but we wouldn't hate YOU

Bearcat · 15/04/2011 22:30

Forget the child behind you, what about the teenager infront of you who decides to recline their seat in the first 15 minutes of a flight to New York at 9 am in the morning?
I just jammed my knees into the back of her seat and she kept looking back to see why her seat wouldn't go back as well as throwing me dirty looks.
Why did I have to have the seat in our family row of 4 where someone couldn't sit up early in the morning. I would never have dreamt of being so rude to have done it to the person behind me unless it was after the meal on an overnight flight

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/04/2011 22:32

hester

cupnoodle · 15/04/2011 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HazeltheMcWitch · 15/04/2011 22:35

Bearcat, now I think YABU! She had a 'right' to recline, plus you have no idea where her journey started or ended. AFAIK, there are no rules/etiquette about when you can recline - other than when the meals are being served.

HazeltheMcWitch · 15/04/2011 22:37

And a crying baby might be a bit annoying, but it is SOOOOOOOOO different to a child - old enough to know what he's doing - being annoying on purpose. Babies cry, they just do. Most 'looks' you'll get will be conveying the emotion of 'you poor sod'.

cupnoodle · 15/04/2011 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

choccyp1g · 15/04/2011 22:43

The cabin crew should have moved one of the parents to sit in front of the offending child.

My DS used to be quite a "wriggler", and his Dad would take the seat in front of him. He found being kicked was less irritating than having to keep him quiet entertain him for hours.

GiselleS · 15/04/2011 22:43

So I conclude to the parents who choose to fly with children:

Either teach your children to behave

Face the reactions of those who think your children are a nightmare, sometimes you are the problem!

To those who travel with children and are too tired to care; remember you chose this, you're fellow transports did not!!!

chopchopbusybusy · 15/04/2011 22:47

YANBU. DH did ask a child on a flight to Miami - child was about 10 - to stop kicking the back of his chair. Child's father got aggressive.
I was once sitting in an aisle seat from London to Bangkok and the twenty something bloke behind me stretched out within a few minutes of taking off, kicked his shoes off and put his feet on my armrest. He reluctantly moved when asked. So not just children who are badly behaved.

mamatomany · 15/04/2011 22:48

I'm going on a flight to Sydney with 4 lively cherubs next year, am considering sedating them (and DH).
I would not have put up with that for 7 hours though OP YABU to moan, you should have been more assertive, after the first kick I would have made it clear there was not to be a second one.

GiselleS · 15/04/2011 22:49

Terrible second language mistake!! Not transports, meant people!!

Anaxagora · 15/04/2011 22:50

I allowed my ds to do it on one flight and one flight only. That was the occasion on which the nice easyjet staff had allowed me (on my own with 3 small dc) to board ahead of the other passengers. Despite the staff's best efforts, in the nanosecond it took me to fold the buggy and hand it to the staff at the steps, a perfectly fit couple in their 50s pushed in front of us and nabbed the bulkhead seats for themselves.

Ds, then about 4, spent a lot of the flight kicking the seats in front. Normally i'd have stopped him pronto, but on this occasion I just left him to it. Dd2 was 6 months and spent most of the flight in that fretty hysterical state babies get into when they really need to be asleep but can't quite get it together, however much you rock and pat and hush them.

It was a good revenge.

bonkers20 · 15/04/2011 22:56

Urrrrrggg, this is why I ask for the very back row (even if I am sitting in the loo and can hear the flight crew yabbering all night).

I have flown with toddler and have always spoken to the person in front to ask them to let me know if he's annoying them. There is NO WAY I'd let my toddler kick the seat, but there might be a bit more disturbance than with an adult. I have also made sure to say in a loud voice to DS "don't kick the seat because it will really bother the lady/man infront" so that the person in front hears me and doesn't hate me just for having a child on a flight!

HaveToWearHeels · 15/04/2011 23:00

YANBU
Last year on a four hour flight which took off early afternoon the 20 something in front of me reclined his seat as soon as the seatbelt sign went off. Trouble was DD, who was 9 months at the time was sat on my lap, poor little love had the seat back on her forehead.
I let her kick the seat as much as she liked, after all it was the only part of her that she could move. Sadly the guy didn't take the hint and just moaned to his girlfriend constantly until DP politely told him if he put his seat up the kicking would stop.
He was quite aware that she was on my lap as said girlfriend had smiled at her when they sat down.
Needless to say as soon as he put the seat up she stopped kicking.

hairfullofsnakes · 15/04/2011 23:06

Anaxagora - don't blame you at all for letting your kids do that - brilliant!

albertcamus · 15/04/2011 23:15

Giselle S agree totally i.e. teach them to behave, but somehow all forms of transport seem to attract the free-range type families who seem to think that others are priveliged to share oxygen with their brats !

crystalglasses · 15/04/2011 23:16

I don't understand this 'right to recline' at any time. I spent a miserable 8 hours on a long haul trip being unable to open my tray or see my TV properly (because it was so close to my face) because the person in front of me spent the whole trip reclining. And when i needed to go to the loo I had to place my body at a 45 degree angle to ease myself in and out of my seat.

Tryharder · 15/04/2011 23:16

I have an experience similar to HaveToWearHeels. I was travelling on a Thomas Cook flight (so not much room!) with DSs 1 and 2 and we were behid a childless couple. DS2 was sat on my knee as he was only 18 months old or so. I am very tall so you can imagine that we had no room to move at all really. The lady in front promptly put her seat right back as far as it could go (the inconsiderate bitch), so like HaveToWearHeel's DD, her seat was literally squashing DS2. He wasn't actually kicking her at all but she kept turning around and first of all screamed at poor old DS1 for kicking her seat when in fact, he wasn't even in the seat behind her! The thing was that everything I or DS2 moved (moved, not kicked), she could feel it. Short of us sitting wedged motionless like statues behind her chair for the entire 6 hours, there was nothing we could. It got quite nasty as I lost my temper with her in the end as she was loudly bitching about us to her neighbours.

Sad thing is, she probably dined out quite a bit on the story of how she went on a flight which was ruined by kids kicking her on purpose when this couldn't have been further from the truth.

The problem is, OP is that space is so limited on flights and sometimes kids and adults move their legs, then people think they are being kicked when in fact they are not. I am so tall that generally my knees are wedged in someone's seat and so everything I move my knees, the person gets a sensation of being kicked.

So if this child was genuinely and wilfully kicking you on purpose, then YANBU. If you had your seat back reclining in someone's dinner, then YABU!

albertcamus · 15/04/2011 23:17

Having said that, I've met some really interesting and lovely people on planes, which offsets the brattish behaviour of increasing numbers of children ...

musicmadness · 15/04/2011 23:20

MrsTerry I was just in this situation last week with a 2 month old. 7 hour (night) flight and the little girl screamed for about 6 and a half hours of it. I had a lot of sympathy with her parents who were both trying to get her quiet along with the flight attendant but I must admit to being extremely pissed off as well by the end of it, not that there was anything that could be done with a child that young really. I was trying to drown her out with music for most of it!

It was more the fact that it was a night flight so people were trying to sleep and literally no one on the plane could. I do wish they would have taken a day flight instead (several available for the same price when I booked) as most people were utter zombies by the time the plane arrived as most had been up over 24 hours straight at this point and some were driving afterwards which can't have been safe!

As far as the kicking kids go I seem to have inherited the glare from my mother which can stop someone at 20 paces .
Failing that and if the parents won't stop them I tend to find making a nuisance of yourself with the flight attendents works as they either move you or make the parents stop the kid. I got upgraded to first class once that way as there were no other seats in cattle class :)

mamatomany · 15/04/2011 23:20

You see I think they should stop this children on laps business, flying can be miserable enough for kids without them having to sit still on somebody's lap for the entire duration, it's not fair on anybody.

Tryharder · 15/04/2011 23:22

I never recline my seat on a flight. It is rude and inconsiderate. If you want to lie back on a flight, fly first or business.

shakey1500 · 15/04/2011 23:23

Pre child I ALWAYS seemed to sit in front of a child who would kick the seat the entire journey an used to huff and puff my way through the flight.

Now, with a ds of my own I am soooo aware of how frustrating it is and do everything in my power to not let it happen. Luckily ds is great and sits nicely (complete with every bribe, snack, useless toys to amuse). Apart from one time when he simply couldn't settle and was absolutely hysterical. I was trying to hold on to him as he screamed and wriggled. At one point he thrust his legs out and the poor woman in front was nigh on catapulted forward. Cue me apologising profusely. She was great though fair play and could see/hear that I'd done the best I could.

Pekkala · 15/04/2011 23:30

It's not just children arsing about - I've just flown to Aus and on the way I put the arm rest on my seat up. This meant the buttons to control the lights/tv channels etc were accessible to the poeple sitting behind. The 2 drunk blokes then decided it was fun to change channels, put the volume up and down and flash my light on and off (on a night flight). They did stop once I asked then too but for ages I couldn't work out what was going on.

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