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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to pretend to be a recovering alcoholic?

38 replies

OliPolly · 15/04/2011 16:38

I bumped into someone in the city centre today and she invited me out to a girly night out tomorrow. I told her that I would come for the meal only and won't be joining them on the nightclub prawl later. She was with her friend who was surprised that I was saying no to free alcohol at which point I said that I didn't drink.

She seemed really Shock that I don't drink at all and said that there must be something wrong with me Confused I said to her 'I used to be an alcoholic' and it shut her right up!

I know alcoholism is a disease and I wouldn't make light of the situation but I was really annoyed at her ignorance. I did tell her that I was joking and she still found it strange that a 31year old woman has never tasted alcohol.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 15/04/2011 16:40

I would find it strange that you have never taste it, but not strange that someone doesnt drink.

I rarely drink now, but had a very mis-spent youth.

ShirleyKnot · 15/04/2011 16:41

Weird

Original poster
OliPolly · 15/04/2011 16:42

Am I weird?

OP posts:
dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 15/04/2011 16:45

Who needs alcohol? There are dozens of ways you can get off your tits these days Wink

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 15/04/2011 16:46

No you are not weird. Good for you not giving in to the huge pressure to conform.

wannaBe · 15/04/2011 16:46

why is it weird?

Vicky2011 · 15/04/2011 16:46

Yes

To have never tasted it.

No

To not drink.

Original poster
OliPolly · 15/04/2011 16:49

well, I have smelt it? does that count

DH drinks and I have no problem with it, i just don't drink it!

When I was working, people used to find it strange as well if we went out. I just drank Red Bull to fit in Grin

OP posts:
ShirleyKnot · 15/04/2011 16:49

I think iTs weird that someone said there must be something wrong with you for not drinking.

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 15/04/2011 16:51

It used to be the same with smoking.

Thingumy · 15/04/2011 16:51

It's weird that you also said you were a alcoholic.

You don't drink.End of.

Why make up shit?

tooshorttonotice · 15/04/2011 16:52

No you are not weird but you could be more upfront about it. Just tell her that you don't drink and ( if you think you need to and you know) the reason. Making her feel guilty for offering by saying you are an alcoholic is horrible and then saying it was a joke is even worse - there are alcoholics that really struggle with this sort of thing.

It doesn't even sound as if you like the person

MoonGirl1981 · 15/04/2011 16:53

Saying you're an acoholic is a bit odd.

Just tell her you've never fancied it.

I've never eaten a tomato for that reason!

ShirleyKnot · 15/04/2011 16:54

Youve never eaten a tomato? Oh my god you total weirdo!

MoonGirl1981 · 15/04/2011 16:55

I know!!

They just don't appeal to me at all!

JaneS · 15/04/2011 16:57

How odd. I am an alcoholic, who's sober currently, and I hate admitting it. A cynical part of me rather wonders how plausible you'd sound making your 'confession'.

Selfishly, I guess I wish more people just said 'no, I don't drink' and then maybe it'd become more socially acceptable.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 15/04/2011 16:58

It's not weird to have never tastd alcohol....I don't drink and it gets right on my nerves when people take it personally!

I just cant hndle it...two glasses of anything and I'm staggering and falling over and sobbing....literally.

YANBU....the silly woman deserved to be lied to!

OmShantiJacks · 15/04/2011 17:00

It takes a lot to get some people to shut up. Personal preference or belief doesn't seem to count with certain members of society (such as choosing, for whatever reason, not to drink).

So for that reason, I don't think you were being unreasonable to say whatever came to mind to get this woman to shut her gob.

But. A tiny part of me thinks that saying you're a recovering alcoholic when you aren't is maybe a bit disrespectful to people who really have struggled to overcome alcoholism?

I don't mean to be critical of you at all, in some situation we just say whatever comes to mind without thinking of the wider ramifications. She left you alone after that, job done.

I was just thinking that maybe for the future, because sadly I'm sure you'll find yourself in this kind of situation again - seeing as people can be oh-so-accepting and non-judgemental about other people's choices Hmm - maybe we can help you come up with another response?

CoteDAzur · 15/04/2011 17:01

YABU, especially re "I was really annoyed at her ignorance". Ignorant, how? Hmm

wannaBe · 15/04/2011 17:02

it's like cigarettes though, isn't it? Had never tasted a cigarette until last year - it just didn't appeal. Last year I had one drag - it was revolting. Grin Nobody would think it weird to have never tasted a cigarette, so why alcohol?

MoonGirl1981 · 15/04/2011 17:03

I don't drink either.

I discovered a while back that friend of mine is an alcoholic (didn't realise for years, is bloody obvious now I've stepped back). This led to him lying to people, overspending and eventually losing his house.

I now can't stand the sight of the stuff.

beesimo · 15/04/2011 17:03

Just be true to yourself Op don't tell lies. I think you were worried being teetotal would make you sound boring and by saying you are a alcholic it somehow made you sound a mysterious/interesting person with a huge amount of 'back story'

Actually there is nothing wrong with being a bit 'boring' there is quite a lot wrong with being a lying fantasist so don't do it again!

Pancakeflipper · 15/04/2011 17:04

YANBU to not drink. But to say you are a recovering alcoholic when you are not is just wrong.

Original poster
OliPolly · 15/04/2011 17:05

Ok, I was a bit U.

OP posts:
FutureNannyOgg · 15/04/2011 17:07

YABU, you don't drink, your choice, now lets move on to the next topic.

I don't drink either (well very rarely, but only ever one drink and never to get so much as tipsy, I hate the sensation and it can trigger my migraines), and I do understand, being pregnant was a welcome break.

But lots of people don't drink, for religious reasons, because they don't like the taste, alcoholism in the family, intolerance, whatever, and admitting to being one of these people shouldn't be something to be embarrassed about.

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