My mood seems to fluctuate a lot-i'm not describing bipolar here by the way as there are no 'highs'. It's never so bad though that I can't get out of bed or that I consider killing myself. Many days during the month I feel like I have no energy to interact with the kids properly and it's not unusual for them to be in front on cbeebies for hours at a time. I'm tired -but yeah yeah so is everyone on MN
The main issue is I get so stressed I can't think clearly or make simple decisions. The stress isnt based on anything in the hear and now.
Two years ago before children I had a really really stressful job and I went from being a chilled confindent person to being a bit of a weirdo. I started to have invasive thoughts, became obsessed with 'checking' things, jumped out of my skin at little noises and started to have problems socially. The social problems took the form of rabbiting on at a fast pace, blurting out inappropriate things and generally coming across as 'on edge'. I used to be the sort of person who people listened to when I talked. I was always the 'leader'. Now I know people see me differently as they react to me differently. It upsets me.
I left my job due to being a mother and I thought i'd return to my old self-but I haven't. I'm still jittery. I can't afford counselling, circumstances don't allow for a break away from it. I just want to feel normal for a while until I have money for therapy.
AIBU?