to have 2nd thoughts about marriage

10 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 15/04/2011 00:56

i love dp with all my heart, but i think my son will not cope with the day.

he has adhd and i am scared how he will cope with the day, routine is vital to keep him off medication

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/04/2011 01:49

I didn't want to leave you hanging... Is there any way you could do a small registry job then a nice dinner at home (or somewhere else he knows)? Also, could be practice for him (with lots of support) on managing stress and developing strategies.

piprabbit · 15/04/2011 02:23

I'm sure that with a little creative thinking you could come up with a solution that enables you to get married without over-stretching your DS. It might not be exactly your dream day, but it would still mean that you were married at the end of it. A wedding is only a few hours, a marriage is a lifetime's commitment.

Unless you are looking for excuses not to get married?

sausagesandmarmelade · 15/04/2011 06:49

Is there any way that you could change your plans to fit around him....or call on some help and support with your son for the day? (not sure what the problem is).

QuintessentialShad0ws · 15/04/2011 07:11

Is it the wedding day you are concerned about, or the marriage?

The wedding is a means to an end, and if you still want the marriage, then scale the wedding down to something your son can cope with after all. It is just a celebration and actually no big deal.

blueshoes · 15/04/2011 07:32

Agree with quint that marriage and a wedding are 2 separate things. It is (generally) to your and your son's advantage for you to be married to your dp for legal and financial reasons. Since you love your dp with all your heart, all the better.

Unless you don't in fact want to get married, you should find a way to get married as quickly and painlessly for your ds, even if it is just ducking into a registry to sign papers.

Original poster

AuntiePickleBottom · 15/04/2011 07:54

i am having a small wedding.

i can not wait till i get married, so it just about the day.

OP posts:

justpaddling · 15/04/2011 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

AuntiePickleBottom · 15/04/2011 08:24

i am having a registry office wedding, with a hog roast in the day and an evening buffet.

i did think of his needs when booking, i just hope its the case of the wobbles but i am so worried how he will cope with the day.

OP posts:

maddy68 · 15/04/2011 08:33

my son has adhd so you have my sympathies. I would engage your family in his supervision for the day, and actually so what if his behaviour is not as you would wish, it is a hog roast not a sit down dinner if he runs around etc no one will care, the only tricky bit is the registry office and that will be so quick - put your mum in charge of him during the ceremony and enjoy your day x

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/04/2011 08:35

The wedding itself will take only about 15 minutes, if that.

Flip