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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To try to choose the books my daughter reads??

68 replies

lemonysnickett · 14/04/2011 09:14

My DD is 11. I have noticed girls in her class are reading books which might be found in teens section in bookshops...at the moment a series of books by ally carter, some of the J.Wilson books...generally about boy/girl stuff. I think a lot of books on offer slip issues like this in..I would rather she kept on with Enid type books if you know what I mean...what does everyone else do? I know I want her to have a love of reading and this will ultimately come from her choosing what she wants to read...really don't know what to do here!

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 14/04/2011 14:12

I think that you will put her off. Nothing is worth than a 'worthy' parent choosing books. I read anything and everything at that age. I had my library ticket and chose my own books-I went into the library on my own-it was a second home!
DCs reading is supposed to be subversive-the reason Roald Dahl is so successful. DCs love to read books that parent's hate.
If you really want a book to be desirable ban it! She will make sure she reads it in secret-great fun!

exoticfruits · 14/04/2011 14:14

My favourite at 11yrs were the problem pages in women's magazines-quite tame by today's standards!
Surely everyone remembers certain books being passed around the class in brown covers with certain passages marked?!

ivykaty44 · 14/04/2011 14:19

I read the books for a while that dd1 wanted to read to see what they where like - then kept them till the age I thought was suitable, not all Jwilson bokks are 15 rated

yes I liked the "she" magazine problem page at around 11 but books was still into enid blyton and read lots on hols and under covers in school term eve's

it was a bit limited though and glad dd1 went onto read other stuff quickly and progressed in english.

dd2 I can't seem to intice at all to read yet she see's me reading two three books a week

lljkk · 14/04/2011 14:33

Is anyone else noting the titles of what people said their 12yo selves or DC read which was fine & therefore no screening necessary... and thinking how tame? And yes, I think most of Stephen King and all of Agatha Christie is pretty tame. When I screen out things for DC I'm screening out far worse than that. Bestiality, genocide, very explicit violence, horrific and chronic child abuse (even a Child called It is relatively tame in that genre), every other word a swear word, quite explicit descriptions of genitalia, very emotional and huge moral dilemnas (I just read The Reader)...

11yo DS recently read James Herriott and found the swearing in that a bit much.

I find it very difficult to reconcile how relaxed people are on this thread about whatever their DC might read, compared to how quick MNers are to label anybody under 18 "a child" in other discussions. If an 11yo is still "a child" then some adult material has to be kept offlimits, no?

exoticfruits · 14/04/2011 14:42

A book isn't like a film and if it is too adult it won't really hold their interest. DCs like a mix-they want to sometimes just relax with an easy read-even if a bit trashy-why not?
Jacqueline Wilson wouldn't be successful if she wasn't producing a readable book.
I thought that my mother was a bit controlling but I am so grateful, reading this, that she didn't censor books.
I am all for suggesting good literature and encouraging but beyond that I think it is something to leave to the DC. If they have a library ticket I don't really see that they are going to end up with something terrible unsuitable.

nickelbaalamb · 14/04/2011 14:45

definitely let her choose her own.

This is exactly the reason why I have a 10upwards section, which houses some of the books that are in the teen section in other shops - my rule is that the teenage section has books that are not suitable for younger readers, so ones that are explicit with sex/relationships or have violence in.
what the film board call "adult themes"

I can promise you that most books in the teen section are perfectly okay for 11 year olds.

brighthair · 14/04/2011 15:24

I read Flowers in the Attic at 11 :-)
Mum always encouraged me to read (not that I needed encouragement) and I have read since being tiny, and still read around 20 books a week. I'm grateful she let me read pretty much anything as I'm still the same now and don't stick with a particular genre

Insomnia11 · 14/04/2011 15:49

When I was 11, my mum bought me a facts of life book and along with reading Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl, I was very into reading anything about sex and relationships. Judy Blume was the main one and other than that I used to flick through my mum's books to look for the juicy bits and yes, problem pages were quite fascinating.

I didn't actually have sex until I was 17 though.

nickelbaalamb · 14/04/2011 16:04

it's no indication at all - I read all sorts of naughty adult books when I was 12/13, and I didn't have sex till I was 25 - probably put off by the gross descriptions!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/04/2011 16:07

Let her chose....I am 40 and I still love Enid Blyton!

exoticfruits · 14/04/2011 16:25

I would hate anyone to choose my books for me now-I don't see why I should have liked it at 11yrs old. My mother and I have different tastes. She always moans that mine are too depressing and I ignore her! (and that is at my advanced age)

camdancer · 14/04/2011 16:34

My parents had a one trash, one decent book policy. So they would let me read whatever teen series I was into (couples, sweet valley high) as long as they got to ok the next one. I still feel odd if I read 2 true blood books in a row! They weren't exactly choosing but they did have some level of control. That might work as a way to steer your DD gently rather than lay down the law.

Don't think I just went along with it all the time. I did my share of lying, readig under the covers and hiding books but it made my parents feel better!

exoticfruits · 14/04/2011 17:20

I can't imagine how irritating it must be to have parents monitor your reading once you can read for yourself! They are lucky it doesn't kill it off for good!
I would suggest books for anyone, but not tell them what to read.
Even when they were toddlers they got to choose their own books at the library and I spent hours reading books that I didn't like. I hated Thomas Tank Engine but DS adored them-surely that is the important part?

exoticfruits · 14/04/2011 17:23

There must be a lot of DCs with controlling parents who are forced to lie and the parent doesn't even know the 'real' DC!
Persuading friends to give them sweets and now having to borrow books to read under the bedclothes, in case mother doesn't consider it suitable!

(Life would be nice and simple if Jacqueline Wilson was all you had to worry about-just wait another 3 years!)

ivykaty44 · 14/04/2011 17:41

All books gratefully received - my neighbour passes me on books, my dad collects books and passes them onto me and soem work mates pass me on books - I have no problem with others choosing what I read In actually fact books that others have given me are often better than I would have picked myself.

If you are not sure on a childs book then read it first and make -up your mind.

You can encourage books of all sorts, but they will read what they want when they want and there is only so much you can do.

i would just be happier if dd2 read -anything really

exoticfruits · 14/04/2011 18:49

I am all for people giving me books or saying 'you must read.....' I am just against them saying 'you can't read that and I want you to read this instead'.

I agree with ivykate-DCs will read what they want to read. Quite frankly I would be grateful if my DS read anything at all!

HeadfirstForHalos · 14/04/2011 18:58

At 11 I was well into working my way through Stephen King's list of books!

I let mine read what they like, within reason, they aren't quite onto the Jilly Coopers yet

ivykaty44 · 14/04/2011 22:38

Its Harold Robins you have to watch out for - he likes the cat o nine a bit toooo much

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