to dread and really not enjoy the school holidays?

[horriblemotheragain]

Day 3 of the Easter hols and I'm already a whinging hag, shouting at my children, despairing about and hating my house, wanting to just cry with frustration and boredom. DH is working abroad (and has been working abroad on and off for four months with brief interludes of one or two weeks at home - when he works 12 hrs a day and does help with the children but has to be told exactly what to do usually). I love my kids, of course, but they are 6, 3 & 1, so don't really play together, or if they do it very quickly breaks down into arguing and crying.

I just don't know what to do with them. I try making cakes with them and I get all controlling about the mess (even though the house is a tip anyway), I try getting them to build a den and they just end up arguing... I am so bored of mediating and breaking up fights...

Monday & yesterday were OK as we were out for most of the day, but today it rained so we were stuck in.

I just end up putting the telly on to get some peace for ten minutes or so (or longer sometimes). I'm surrounded by washing, toys and general mess, and have absolutely no motivation or energy to do anything about it. I can't even have anyone round as I feel too embarrassed about my inability to cope.

I'm a SAHM and I just think - did I get a degree for this? To spend the day loading the dishwasher and yelling at my kids? I know I'm feeling sorry for myself and this is what I chose, and it won't be for ever, but I just feel crap at the moment. My youngest is 21 months, so this can't be PND, can it?
Anyway, I'm boring myself now. Just needed to vent really...

OK, no idea why this posted twice, and I don't know how to delete one. Sorry!

Will be watching this with interest as I feel pretty much the same and my DC are same ages as yours.

I have had PND in past and know that it can occur any time up to two years post birth, so don't rule PND out. On the other hand having three small children takes an enormous amount of energy. Who wouldn't feel tired and depressed by it at times?!

I totally get what you mean about having degree and being a SAHM. You think, I chose this, how can it be bad? Can I even complain?
Fingers crossed that tomorrow is a better day for you x

I always find the holidays stressy and my house small, cluttered and I am always apologising to visitors about the mess... try to keep them on the doorstep! When kids come to play panic if parent wants to come in for coffee. Would like to be tidy but ... not.
Don't be too hard on yourself. I know that groundhog day feeling. 7pm was a kid screaming witching hour tonight. God knows what neighbours thought! All peaceful now. Have a .

I know. And when I worked, I hated working and envied mums who stayed at home. What fun, I thought! Nursery rhymes and pushing swings, what a life!
Now I just find it incredibly wearing and repetitive... and that makes me feel so guilty because it sounds like I hate my children, and I don't. I love them, and I know they deserve better than me in a foul mood most of the time. I feel exasperated about 90% of the time, and spend most of the day either saying or thinking "oh for god's sake, what now?". It's not a great way to spend your life, is it?!
I'm glad it's not just me!

You're not a horrible mother - we all have days like this. Hopefully the weather will be better tomorrow so you can take them out to a park.

Do you have any friends with children you can invite round? Most mums I know don't take the slightest bit of notice of other people's houses and how tidy/untidy they are. Most of us like the company!

I woder if its the lack of routine in the holidays? With all due respect the only difference surely is having your 6yo home?

Could you maybe go for a walk in the morning and mid afternoon as if your doing the school run? You could still go for a walk if its raining. Try making a den and the kids having lunch in it - keeps them amused for longer. Could the 6yo have a friend over for a few hours so she/he has someone to play with? Do the 1 and 3 yo usually nap? Are you missing some you time whilst they nap and the older dc is at school? Maybe set your older dc up with an activity whilst'if they nap and watch tv/ listen to the radio and gather your thoughts.

YANBU - I work FT in a school so term time only and find the holidays hard too. For me it is the lack of routine not the fact DS is home from school. My get and go, gets up and goes.

Thanks 2Boys... thing is, having another adult come in is lovely as it keeps the children happier (new people to play with!) and it's proper conversation rather than "can we have Beebies on now?" or "can we have a snack?" (they are constantly asking for food!). But yes, house is a right mess - nothing "filth files" or anything, but just general clutter and toys everywhere.
Thing is, they are not doing anything out of the ordinary, they're just being children... sigh

YANBU

I only started enjoying school holidays when both my kids had started school. At least now I'm happy to have a break from the school run, they're exhausted and want some down time, and they're at a stage to entertain themselves.

Even then they still drive me up the wall

Yes, you're probably right - also 3yo goes to preschool 10 hrs a week usually, and all the toddler groups we usually go to stop in the holidays (why?!). So there isn't really much to do. Today we took a walk to the local shop, but tomorrow I'm planning a longer walk to tire them out! Also they get on a lot better when out and about.

I might bring one of the garden tents inside tomorrow and let them have lunch in it...

Only 1yo naps, and he still does that - I am missing the me time I think, as 3yo has quiet telly time on sofa during 1yo's nap usually, so I can usually stop for a cuppa, bit of internet, or close my eyes... today I spent the two hours reminding them to be a bit quieter so as not to wake little one.

yes - no get up and go here either. Had loads when the sun was out - it's gone now it's raining!

I'm sure it would have been much worse if you were living in 1811 or even 1911, must be tons to do these days we're so much better off than families 100 years ago what did kids do then?

Thanks Soups - my 3yo starts this September so that will probably help. I will get more done in term time too, I suppose, so I can start the holidays a bit more organised!

fedupalready - yes I do keep reminding myself that at least I have a dishwasher, and a washing machine, and at least my kids have DVDs, a garden to play in and loads of books & toys (which they don't seem interested in at all!).
Doesn't help that I don't have any transport and we're out in the country so no public transport either. Not that I would take all 3 on a bus anyway! i need to be a bit more creative, I think, and just go for it and let them do painting or something and sod the mess!

Are you me??

YANBU. Praise the lord mine are back Monday. My DD (3) starts nursery next week too and I'm delighted!

Dreading the Summer hols.

I used to be like this in the holidays. The days seem sooo much longer without the school runs to break them up! It does get easier, mine are 16, 13 and 11 now and the last few years have been fine so hang in there!

I used to find trying to get out somewhere, anywhere, for at least a part of every day was the only way not to be completely beside myself by teatime. Sometimes they'd be playing reasonably nicely and independantly so I'd think I could risk it (I often didn't fancy trailing to the park if I thought I could get away with it) but usually regretted it when it all kicked off and it was too late to go anywhere. If it's raining, even a walk to the nearest corner shop to choose a comic and some sweeties can break up the afternoon.

I never felt guilty about sticking the telly/DVD on for a bit, as long as you don't leave them in front of it for hours on end, it won't harm them and you'll feel better if you manage to get a few things of your own done.

Don't worry about inviting people round either - most mums will know exactly how you feel and will be so glad of a change of scene and a bit of adult conversation they won't notice the clutter!

One trick is to go back to work - it makes you totally appreciate the holidays. Am loving mine.

Fedupalready.. the kids were probably occupying themselves up chimneys or something in times gone by!!!!
I think the change in routine difficult for kids and parents. 5 year old got friend round tomorrow. Will try to make place look okish in case mum wants cup of tea...impossible task!

LOL! Work is tempting! Although can't drive and there are no jobs round here - not for any money that would pay enough for childcare anyway! Am planning to go back at some point, definitely.

I'm hoping that today was my lowest point and it will get better from now. Was definitely a mistake to stay in all day.

YANBU. I love school & miss it terribly.

Turkey - yes I am you.
They go back Monday? Mine are off till 26th!!! Then back for 3 days, then off for another four for Royal Wedding & May Bank Holiday. Then only four weeks till Whit.

Meh.

Might have to go and nibble my children now to make myself feel less guilty about being an old cow.