to expect him to come home at normal time when I'm ill?

[droopyxmastree]

Spent yesterday lying in bed in a cold sweat with some sort of virus. Still ill today but much improved.

Dh over an hour late home from work. The only thing keeping me going during bathing my two toddlers was the thought that he'd soon be in. He never arrived. Called his mobile only to get 'oh I'm just in the office on the net'

wtf?

I put the phone down.

Is it me?

Sorry I missread. I thought you where one hundred and eleven

Inconsiderate fucker- sure if it'd been the other way round they'd have been much more moaning!:o

MikeOxstiff. Be my mate?

It's a man thing. It's tough. Hope you feel better tomorrow. Next time take two smelly toddlers to bed with you and let him be the one to sort it all out when he gets in - waking two smelly toddlers and taking responsibility for them for the three hours it takes them to settle. Not worth a row but worth a bit of grief for him. "But darling I felt so ill, it was the best I could do - thank yo so much for helping - you were brilliant - do you think you could go and make me a cup of tea and piece of toast with just a scraping of butter now they've gone off".

Not only that but when I gave him hell when he came in he accused me of 'trying to lay a guilt trip on just like your mother does'

Hello?

what has my mother got to do with this?

He is now going round the house SINGING while I fume and type this. I ask again, is it me?

Nope. I was an almost identical position a few months ago. I picked up a vomit/diahorreah bug, started being ill one lunchtime and reached a point fairly quickly where I could barely stand up, never mind care for an active toddler. I was quite literally crawling to the loo, thanking all my lucky stars that we had one downstairs. Couldn't get hold of dh on his mobile so phoned the central reception at his work and told them to get a message to him to phone me at home as i wasn't well. They did. He forgot. I phoned at about 12.30 and he must have shown up at around 6.30, and I had spent the whole time in between staring frantically out of the window silently begging for the car to appear. Don't know now why i didn't phone back but I didn't. I think I assumed he'd be on his way.

He arrives, I feel too crap to even give him an earful, I just throw the child at him and crawl gratefully off to bed. He does evening routines etc, watches tv and retreats to the spare bedroom. Two hours later, I hear dd crying, and think 'Thank God, at least he's home to deal with it now.' She cries and cries (ok, for about five minutes) and I realise he's not there. So I force myself up and go to see, and he's in bed, saying weakly to me 'I've just been sick, I think I have it too.' So I have to go in and deal with her as he's now too ill. Next day, he sleeps until lunchtime, then appears with a pathetic look on his face saying 'Could you make me some lunch, I feel very weak.' I did. No, I don't know why either.
I also had a very intense discussion with him about the fact that I never ever call him at work so he should have known something was wrong, that when I was ill and feeling so weak I could barely stand, I had to look after our dd. I got a whole 2 hours when he was in charge before she went to bed, then when he was ill I had to get up and take over again, and while I spent my 'recovery time' looking after her, he got to spend his recovery time sleeping and demanding meals.

He mumbled that he thought he'd had it worse than me as he couldn't have managed to do anything - he felt far too ill. I roundly disabused him of this notion and pointed out if I hadn't dragged myself round the house taking care of her then no-one would have been there for her which isn't an option. He did at least look shamefaced!!! And on the plus side, he's been super-attentive when I've been ill since!