to be grumpy with my mother

[FlightofFancy]

I know I am B a bit U, but need to rant so I don't bend DH's ear too far.
We both work, full time, so are pretty knackered. Have got all the bank holidays and the three days in between off over Easter, so were really looking forward to a long stretch off with both us home with toddler DS. Getting loads done round the house, a few day trips and some general chilling out.

Apparently I suggested to my parents that we might visit for Easter, and I'm now getting a massive guilt trip (including 'no, no, don't feel guilty...') from my DM for suggesting that we're not going to see them.

To clarify, they live over 2hrs drive away, along a popular motorway for holiday makers, and are retired. We stayed with them over Christmas, and have visited for a weekend in between.

DS is at a bit of a funny about anyone but mummy and daddy phase (though OK with nursery TG), and likes his home comforts - so it's always a bit of a hassle travelling. We're guaranteed at least one semi-sleepless night.

I know I'm being a grump, and we should make the effort as DS needs to know his GPs. We don't have a spare room, so they stay in a local B&B when they visit (chosen as an alternative to our sofa bed...), and we're in peak wedding territory so Saturday nights are booked up all summer.

But... but... they're retired, they have all week every week to relax, we just have this one stretch. Gahh.

"'no, no, don't feel guilty."

"Oh thanks, I knew you'd understand."

ignore the manipulative true meaning and take the words at face value.

It drives them nuts.

I think you should stick to your plans with your DH and your DS. You need time together as a unit. Your Parents will understand...or rather accept your plans. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Hecate, you're good

if there's one thing I can do, it's intentionally misunderstand. [evil]

Don't go. Let them visit you?!

I have this. My mum rarely visits me and this Easter, much as I want to see her, I don't want to go over to her (2 hr drive).

Also, son has ASD and HATES being in the car. She tells me off for allowing his dad, my ex, to take him on a 2hr drive to his house twice a mum. Has indicated I am a bad mother and should put a stop to this, but then expects US to drive to her.

"twice a month"

Well there's the Easter weekend to relax
but there's also the royal wedding/ may bank holiday
and the last bh weekend in may

out of those three weekends I'd go to your mims for one if you're not working

I like the idea of taking them at their word!
Am working to get them up here for royal wedding bank hols, by tempting them with having DS to themselves for a whole day...

Am still getting used to the having a child means your sort of beholden to whole family not just yourselves.

Ah well, might get some babysitting out of it.

"Apparently I suggested to my parents..." So you have no memory of this suggestion? So perhaps you never said this at all and it's their way to get you to come?

bluddy - then why don't they just say "Oh, that's a shame, I am disappointed. I was really looking forward to seeing you."

Someone saying how they feel is not the same as someone guilt-tripping. Doing the whole manipulative PA "Oh, don't worry about me" crap. Someone who pulls that kind of stunt really deserves to be intentionally misunderstood, imo.

Am in love with Hecate ;P