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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childrens birthday parties.

10 replies

fluffy123 · 13/04/2011 15:38

Am I being unreasonable to be upset that my 10 year old son has received no birthday party invites this academic year. He has a wide circle of friends and about 3 best friends all of which have had paint balling parties this year . Not one have invited my son although he invited them to his party last summer. I am good friends with 2 of the childrens mums and when 1 came over for coffee the subject of her sons birthday / party came up and she said her son didn't invite my son because they didn't think he would like paint balling. I said my son has never tried it but I am sure he would enjoy it but that I understood that she couldn't invite everyone. My son has been quite grown up about it but has said with birthday coming up next month he may not want a party as has no invites to return. When I see him with his friends at footie practice he seems well liked. I know this is not a really big problem compared to the worries some people have but it is on my mind and I am not sure what to do for his birthday.

OP posts:
sparkle1977 · 13/04/2011 15:53

Ah no thats an awful situation for your poor DS.

Personally I would take your son's lead on whether or not he wants a party and who he wants to invite.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/04/2011 15:56

That's very sad, fluffy. What about his best 3 friends? Are they having parties or similar this year? Perhaps he will be invited to those, he should be if they're his best friends.

Ask your son what he would like to do... trip up to London, London Eye, planetarium, night out at the cinema, go-karting... and tell him he can take up to three friends if he wants to.

ashamedandconfused · 13/04/2011 15:56

who you invite to a party should not just be about who invited you to theirs, if he wants a party, set him a guest limit, then he will see how hard it is to make choices out of a wide circle of friends

I am sure he is not being deliberately left out

If you are aware of a next time, perhaps treat him and one friend to the cinema and pizza or something to make it up to him?

activate · 13/04/2011 15:57

it happens

it hurts the parents far more and for much much longer than the children though

yes it's not fair but he's probably just not flavour of the month when it came round to it - and I wouldn't be calling them "Best friends" if he's not on the party invitation round tbh

Eglu · 13/04/2011 15:58

I think at the age he is at then people are obviously only inviting a certain number of friends and it is just unfortunate that your son has been left out.

It is a shame though.

ExitPursuedByALamb · 13/04/2011 16:01

It is difficult isn't it. As Activate says, it hurts us more than the children. People can be very strange. Just put it down to one of life's hard lessons.

Original poster
fluffy123 · 13/04/2011 16:03

Thankyou for taking the time to read my post. The last three parties my son missed out on were his three best friends . One in January and two in March.

OP posts:
forehead · 13/04/2011 16:06

It's just one of those things OP, i agree with activate, he's probably not flavour of the month,. This can change at any time and you will be bemoaning the fact that he has too many part
ies to attend.
My dd was not invited to many parties in yr2, however she is now in year 3 and gets invited to all the parties. Don't be disheartened and dont get upset
That's why i tend to invite the whole class (i know that this is not always possible), i would just hate the thought that anyone would be upset about not being invited to my dc's party.
Have a party for your ds and let him invite who he wants. Just try to not let it bother you.

OkeeDoeKee · 13/04/2011 16:30

My son is 11 this year and hasn't had many party invites at all but I really don't know if it's because no one is having any parties to invite him to or he's not being invited. Either way he's not made any comment about it.

For his birthday in a couple of weeks he choose an activity which is v expensive so he can only have 5 people including himself (£200 for five but a blanket price of £400 for 6 to 10 people) He also has to include his cousin so he can only invite 3 friends. I don't know if this means anyone has been missed out who would have expected an invite but due to cost that is what has happened.

It's very difficult because some people do feel obliged to invite people purely because they were invited to their party which obviously cuts down on spaces for people who they may have preferred to invite. It is a minefield!!

peanutbutterkid · 13/04/2011 17:22

yanbu, but it's a normal experience in our household, so I think you have to suck it up.
Paintballing HURTS, btw, DH says it's very fun but brutal, not sure he would want to go, again.

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