i need answers plz

[cara0705]

before i start this will cause a riot!!

to start at the start without boring theres me and my sister i have two dd and this is her 1st, then after alot of failed attempts she told the family she was pregnant to our joy as she had been so desparate for a child of her own...

now this is the part.

she went for her 12 week scan last week and got the nt scan as down syndrome runs in our family, howerver it was to my shock that she said 'if anything was the matter with her unborn child she would just have to get rid' as its not a life for a child with all the medication and docs appointments well.. that got me really angry as i thought your ment to love your child no matter what.

and hear im listening to my selfish younger sis who is saying if its not perfect then im not having it.

i know everyone has an opinion but shes the sort of girl that laughed when my dd got glasses as then she wasn't 'perfect' shes very vain. our mother brought us up not to be vain and shallow and i feel sick that she would just get rid of a baby knowing it had problems.

i don't want to start a fight on here but im just curious to see if anyone else thinks this is 'WRONG' sorry to moan but im at my wits ends.
and ive also found out that when all this broke out that most of my family encluding my dh who i thought i knew btw would also get rid of a baby if they where ever in this situation.
and another thing our cousin was diagnosed with cancer at a young age and now shes on medication for life and has regular check ups at hospital so when reminding her she just shrugged it off with a laugh.
needless to say shes not giveing her partner a say in any of this at all sorry for the rant and possible side affect it will cause.

am i the only 1 that thinks its wrong.

i know its not my buisness and mabey i shouldn't of used 'WRONG' but her unborn child hasnt been told it was high risk. she had just told use that thats what she would do then when it caused a bit of friction she announced that she didint know if the baby had it or not. and yes its her buisness of course i understand that.

excuss me i never once said i was better than her and i dont think im better than anyone i was just askin on here if other ppl thought it was unfair to get rid of a baby that could have d.owns

is it a pro-life/pro-choice thread?

no i was just asking really.

YANBU to feel the way you feel about it but YABU to expect your sis to have the same values as you do about abortion. The whole reason they offer the scans for Downs etc to give people a chance to terminate.

Terminating is not something I would do (Which is why I've never had the tests done) but it's not my choice when it's someone else's body.

All you can do is tell her what you think but dont assume that her decision is a flippant one and don't expect her to take what you say on board.

Think of it this way: if she truly would detest having a child with problems, why would you want her to have the child and inflict that dislike on it?

I don't understand when people get up in arms about abortion because surely it's better than having a child who is unwanted and unloved? In fact, I often think those who have the abortion and actively do something about finding themselves pregnant are much braver and kinder than those who go ahead with the pregnancy and give the child a life of cruelty and neglect.

"i was just askin on here if other ppl thought it was unfair to get rid of a baby that could have d.owns"

It's hotly debated on MN. I'm not going to post my own opinion, but many will agree with you OP, and many won't. Down's syndrome is not a simple condition, so it's not an easy call.

your questions are ridiculous and offensive. I respectfully suggest you shove them up your arse.

You need to post this question in the correct topic. There are many people for whom this question is highly emotive. I am not one of them, but they could easily open this without realising and be caused real distress. It may be theoretical question to you, but there are many who have had to face this in real life. You can n ot know what you would do until you are there. They have made the decision that is best for them and their family and do not have to justify their decisions to you or the rest of MN either.

I think your sister has a lot of growing up to do still. Some people never become capable of the kind of empathy and kindness needed to love the disabled child they can't look beyond the disability to the whole and complete soul that lives within every human being. If she truly feels as she does perhaps it is better not to let this little one be born into a world where she/he will be so unwelcome and unwanted.

Life is very hard for any family that includes a disabled member and frankly I don't think your sister is able for it.

You are just as judgy and flippant with no empathy as your sister.

But thanks for this delightful thread on the day I've had an amnio.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange I hope your results are OK

Thanks punk, it's gonna be a long day til 3;30!

I have had the tests (for all 3, it was experimental with DC1), but I wouldn't terminate for DS. I would want to know, try to get prepared. Actually just thinking about this, and I know who I would talk to first (other than DH) and its a mother I know and admire with one DS son.

However I wouldn't judge another's decision, and there are circumstances I would consider termination.

But I would judge someone who made fun of someone wearing glasses FFS! She will be wearing them herself when she is older, unless she is going to give up reading. She needs to grow up, hopefully that will happen this pregnancy.

BTW she does realise the scan only gives a risk of DS, it might show a very very low chance and the baby could still have DS or something else.

Don't know why some people have been harsh to you!

I don't think I would want to be around someone who laughs at children with glasses! Did you smack her in the face?!

Punk -