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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My 20 year old son got a "stop n search" from the Police

55 replies

whatever17 · 13/04/2011 03:00

I am really angry about it.

He actually has been stopped a few times.

The last time he said "for God's sake, I'm walking my dog!" (small dog)

He has been stopped and the coppers have called me and asked me to describe him for some reason.

I called the local sergeant and said "why don't you stop me? white, 42 year old woman but you always stop my kid - 20 year old white male every time he leaves the house?"

They said - "dunno". I said "how can he go for a walk with his mate without getting stopped?" copper said "good question".

OP posts:

PlentyOfPrimroses · 16/04/2011 08:41

DS gets stopped frequently. I have quite a little pile of stop and search slips. I must dig them out and have another go at deciphering the handwriting.

If you're a young male and live in a run-down urban area, this is just normal. Race doesn't seem to make much difference these days. DS has black and asian friends and they are all stopped frequently. Young maleness is in itself grounds for suspicion, it would seem

NearlySpring · 16/04/2011 08:43

I think it's fantastic police are stopping people if they are doing something that "looks a bit shifty". They are patrolling the streets and looking for anyone behaving unlawfully - how can anyone complain about that?

Like the poster who's son was standing int he stairwell phoning to be let in - poster realises that he behaviour may have "appeared" a bit suspicious, so police were right to stop him.

IF you have nothing to hide then I can't see the problem really. If I were stopped and searched because I matched the description of someone they were looking for or if I was behaving / doing something odd that cause them to be suspicious of me then I really wouldn't have a problem with it.

The police are doing their job! If they accidently stop and search 10 innocent people and the 11th really is up to no good then I think it's a job well done.

Msrisotto - Those cards are ridiculous. Being stopped and searched take a few minutes, it's not a great deal of time in the grand scheme of things. The card is way OTT|

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 16/04/2011 08:50

Nearly spring - agree with everything you say.

Msrisotto - hope you show that stupid card to a jobs worth PC who does you for wasting police time.

If you are innocent, get over it!

mnaddict · 16/04/2011 08:58

My dp has been stopped and searched by the police no less that 5 times this past year. He has now started to get receipts as it is getting ridiculous. My dp is black if this helps, we live in a predominantly white area, low crime etc. One he got stopped for running- he was running to get me pizza as I was having pregnancy cravings . Mostly he gets stopped when walking down the main road on the way back from friends late, sometimes in the day. Does anyone know if we could do anything on the grounds of racial discrimination? As far as I know, they were not looking for someone fitting his description each time and my dp has no previous criminal history. Getting stopped as a one off wouldnt bother me though tbh, think you are being a bit precious op!

NearlySpring · 16/04/2011 09:02

Bogeyface - So because he was the only black person, that MUST have been why they suspected him of being involved?

Maybe it was where he was standing when they arrived? Or the way he was acting? Perhaps it was the way he was interacting with the assailant/s or the victim? Perhaps he accidently said something that the police thought was suspicious? Perhaps one of the other people they implied to/ wrongly informed the police that he was involved?

If the police had any reason to believe he was involved then they were right to question him.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 16/04/2011 09:02

Mnaddict - sorry but you do not know who the police are looking for .... How do you know there haven't been a succession of burglaries where a man fitting your DP description has been seen? Also the police will not know if your DP has a record or not by sight....

A pain yes but if you are innocent then it is bad luck. At worst you could wing about cold pizza!

Good on him for satisfying your cravings! They were the fun part of pregnancy!

Bogeyface · 16/04/2011 09:06

He was, and had been all along, standing by the door of his workplace. He wasnt involved in anyway and wasnt even talking to anyone else!

Why is it so hard to understand that the police can be really fucking racist! It happens alot, believe me.

NearlySpring · 16/04/2011 09:08

MNaddict - you think getting stopped once is ok but are annoyed that your DP has been stopped 5 times in a year? What if each time he was stopped it was a different police officer, would that then make it ok?

You are jumping to the conclusion that is is because of his colour. Well perhaps it was, but in a way that is not racist, just fitting a description.

How do you know that he wasn't fitting a description of someone who has committed a crime? If it is a predominantly white area and he is black and the suspect is (for example) "black male, mid 30's, jeans and 6ft approx" then he is likely to get stopped. If the description was "white male, mid 30's, jeans and 6ft approx" then in a predominantly white area then there would be MANY more people fitting the description and therefore each person individually would be less likely to be stopped.

Bogeyface · 16/04/2011 09:09

Actually, I would go further and say that in certain people it MAKES them racist!

My BFF from school has changed so much since she joined the Met 10 years ago. We barely speak now as she is so offensive. She rants about anyone who isnt white and british, and has made some of the most appalling anti-semetic comments you have ever heard that she would never had made before she joined. She has become a really horrible person :(

NearlySpring · 16/04/2011 09:12

SO not only are the police "really fucking racist" but in certain people is can "make them racist"

Why don't you get evidence of your BFF from school and report her?

Bogeyface · 16/04/2011 09:14

Ime, yes thats absolutely correct.

I did not say "all" I said SOME.

mnaddict · 16/04/2011 09:54

Yes I do see that it could be somebody fitting that decsription, however the stops have been made over a year, do you not think thats a bit strange, that each of the 5 times the police were looking for someone fitting my dps description? Thats why I said as far as I know, I dont know really! I never said the police were racist at all, however my (white) brothers and their friends (all similar ages to dp) have lived in this area all their lives and have never ever been stopped wheras my dp has been stopped and searched 5 times this year and a few times in previous years. Surely they tend to keep an eye out for repeat offenders and will stop people if they know they have been arrested before so I could understand if he was a known face but he isnt. It is merely an inconvenience however it each time it happens its gets a bit more amusing/ ridiculous. I dont want to turn this into, "the police are racist" thread, however it does make us raise an eyebrow in a bemused fashion. My pizza was cold btw!

Gotabookaboutit · 16/04/2011 12:49

Statically more young black males commit street crime - they are also frequent victims. They going to get stopped more, unless you really want the police to waste time trying to stop an appropriately 'fair' ratio of the population.

Its not racism its practical policing, and yes I know there is racism in the police force.

Bogeyface · 16/04/2011 12:53

He is 46

JaneS · 16/04/2011 12:54

If it makes you/him feel better, I'm a 26 year old white woman who drives a small boring car, and I have been pulled over on the road more times than I care to remember. Each time they've looked at me suspiciously, asked me what speed I was going, admitted I wasn't speeding, and sent me on my way. I've given up trying to work out what it is that I do to make them think there's something wrong - I did ask a couple of times but never got a reply.

I think as long as they are reasonably polite to him about it, it's got to be just one of those annoying things that happen to some of us.

Gotabookaboutit · 16/04/2011 12:58

Bogeyface - I hate to say it but statistically the 'Black' part is still statistically valid across the age ranges. Not a happy statistic and no doubt a reflection of lots of social disadvantages etc - but still true.

mnaddict · 16/04/2011 13:26

gotabookaboutit "Statically more young black males commit street crime" Really? Do you have any links to statistics please?

CUKAmbassador · 16/04/2011 13:34

"I don't think my son looks unusual for his age, he wears "heavy metal" t-shirts and doc martins and has long (clean) hair but we happen to live in a very affluent area"

There you go. Your son looks out of place by dressing up like a 1980's reject. Just don't be surprised if he gets arrested by a donkey jacket copper driving a Red Quattro!

msrisotto · 16/04/2011 13:58

Msrisotto - hope you show that stupid card to a jobs worth PC who does you for wasting police time.

lol, who said I carry the card? I've never been stopped and searched in my life! There is nothing stupid about the card though, it simply says that if the stop and search is without grounds and is unlawful, then it will be pursued by the individual carrying the card. Believe it or not, police do abuse their power to stop people sometimes and this might ensure that they have proper grounds. Nothing wrong with that.And wasting police time? By showing them a card? What planet are you on?

worraliberty · 16/04/2011 14:05

My 19yr old son is constantly stopped and searched. It doesn't bother him, he's actually quite pleased considering 2 of his friends have been stabbed.

He's white, he gets stopped and searched just as often as his black mates. People will always moan about these things and some will always bring colour/clothes/area into it.

But at the end of the day, stopping and searching is for everyone's benefit. It limits the amount of weapons and drugs on the street and has prevented/solved burglaries...so quite how anyone can get annoyed about a minor inconvenience is beyond me.

SuchProspects · 16/04/2011 16:58

It is true that if you share a characteristic with people who are committing crime in an area you frequent then you are more likely to be lawfully stopped and if the characteristic is distinctive it may feel like discrimination when it's a reasonable pursuit of intelligence. And just because you aren't actually doing anything illegal doesn't mean it can't look suspicious to an officer.

But it's also true that the police force is made up of flawed individuals just like the rest of society, so at least a few of them almost certainly will be allowing unlawful prejudice or assumptions to colour their actions. There have been numerous investigations into the policing over the last few decades that have highlighted the way stereotypes can become cultural norms within sections of the police and cloud officers' judgement, leading to poor and sometimes tragic outcomes. So, for everyone's sake it is well worth challenging if it's actually a case of the search being unlawful.

Gotabookaboutit · 17/04/2011 17:10

''Twelve per cent of London?s men are black. But 54 per cent of the street crimes committed by men in London, along with 46 per cent of the knife crimes and more than half of the gun crimes, are thought by the Metropolitan Police to have been committed by black me
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/7856404/Police-statistics-shed-fresh-light-on-link-between-crime-and-race.html

Gotabookaboutit · 17/04/2011 17:18

Loads of other stats that are not hard to find -I'm not making up facts to support the police and think both government, society as a whole and the black community need address this. However I also (probably very controversially) think that black people need to think about this statistic when they complain about being stopped ,especially as young Black men are ALSO proportionally more likerly to be a victim of street crime and in particular gun and knife crime.

Mumofaflump · 17/04/2011 17:31

I have two cars, a "normal" non-descript Pug 206 for everyday and a heavily modified Mitsubishi for track and shows. Was driving to a show in the Mitsi last month and was pulled 3 times. I have the correct insurance, mot, tax etc, was driving below the speed limit (you try speeding into Bournemouth!). The last policeman who pulled me was very put out and discombobulated that he couldn't find anything to tell me off for!

I never get stopped in the Pug!

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 17/04/2011 18:02

"he wears "heavy metal" t-shirts and doc martins and has long (clean) hair"

Heh! I grew up in Belfast, where the police/army obviously had extra super-duper anti-terrorist powers.

Which for some reason, they kept using against me and my teenage metaller friends. Now either they thought the IRA had taken to cunningly disguising themselves as teenagers in GnR t-shirts, listening to Kiss in a clapped-out Fiesta, or they were looking for our dope, in a little bit of a fishing expedition.

I wonder.

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