I went to a funeral today, for a man that was a member of a sports club I belong to.
About two years ago, there was a big divide in this sports club for complicated and irrelevant reasons, and I got caught up in it, as you do. About 20 members of this club went off a joined another club, including the man who died, and there was some bad feeling between the two groups, but we pretty much just go our separate ways and the bad feeling seems to have passed now.
Anyway, at this funeral, there was one lady there from 'the other side' as it were. She used to be good friends with the man who died, and although she hadn't spoken to him for a couple of years she got in touch with him about a week before he died and they had a good chat as nothing had happened that directly involved either of them, they had just chosen opposit sides of the row iyswim.
Now I have never liked this woman. She is not a very nice person, and she and I have had words in the past. She has said and done things against other people that I care about and consider to be friends. Shortly after the aforementioned big divide, she split up with her dp, who was a big part of the group, which left her in the position of not being able to be part of either group. I have heard on the grapevine that this, along with the breakup, absolutely devestated her. On seeing her today, she looked like she has been really stuggling, she has lost a lot of weight and the upset seems to have aged her considerably.
She was upset at this funeral, and she was all alone. Everyone she knew there was on 'our side'. So I went and spoke to her, and told her she didn't have to be alone, she was welcome to join our table at the wake, gave her a hug, etc etc. Others were polite to her, but didn't really make the effort, and tbh she went out of her way to not even look at anyone else and only spoke to me. She didn't stay long.
So was I being a complete hypocrite to be nice to this woman when everyone knows that we have never really liked eachother? Was I being disloyal to my friends? Or did I do a good thing? I just felt sorry for her, she was clearly upset about our friend dying, and about the turn her life has taken, and I just couldn't stand and watch and not do something. Some of my friends said I did the right thing, even though they thought I was mad, but I think a couple of others thought she was reaping what she had sown and I should have just left her. I am defiantely overthinking it now that it's all over! What does MN jury think?
Sorry, this is waaay longer than I intended! Thanks if you've got this far and can make sense of it!