AIBU to send the eggs back

Invite them over for an afternoon over Easter and tell them you will save the eggs so they can give them to Dc personally?

take the label off and say they are from you :)

YANBU how out of order that is. Good idea clockwatcher

I'd keep the eggs - at least that way your kids get the impression that the GP care enough to give them Easter eggs.
Sadly though, I think you are going to have the unenviable task of trying to shield your kids from their GP's favouritism.
I wouldn't bother with more chances/invites etc, they are only going to let you down.

Huh, my sainted MIL gave my kid a book about holy communion last year instead of an egg. We are not Catholic. So I feel your pain.

Fab idea clockwatcher they sound dreadful

clockwatcher has the right idea. You might get lucky and see them squirm if your kids decide to ask their grandparents to their faces why they're second best.

I really do sympathise as my Granny has perpetually favoured my Uncles kids in the family (Dad is one of four and I have a lot of cousins) - but I embarrassed her hugely once, she was knitting a cardi for one of the 'golden children' and I liked it a lot and asked if she would make me one too. She replied that she couldn't because the wool was expensive, to which I replied 'but not too expensive for X and Y?' To her credit she did make me one. It was itchy and I never wore it!!

clockwatcher's idea is great. You could even get your best acting together, gin up the enthusiasm and say what a brilliant idea it was them dropping them off early, you've hidden them away so they can be produced as a surprise when the GPs are over and how excited your DC is to see them and open the eggs together on Easter weekend. They would have to be truly heartless to then forget to turn up or cancel because they're busy. Perhaps you could even organise an Easter egg hunt with your BILs kids as well so all the GCs are together in one place.

It's odd though - they certainly remember your DC enough to bother to go out, get eggs, leave on the porch and write a nice note, so it's not like they've just forgotten him completely. Maybe there's another reason they don't want to come round? Perhaps they find it hard to get around your house (steep stairs, no helper bar in the loo) and don't want to admit it because they're worried they'll seem like they're losing their independence?

Is this something you could bring up with your BIL? It could be something you've never even thought of, and maybe the BIL would have some idea. Maybe they're afraid of just dealing with one GC at a time and think your DC would be bored with just his GPs and no other children around as well?

you say they haven't bothered since September....but then you say they have given gifts? Do you think they feel unwelcome?

OK so obviously the GPs should not favouritise.

However, surely it's better that your DS gets something from them rather than nothing at all?

Just accept them on their own terms. Say thank you for eggs and accept them. Don't expect a lot but carry on being pleasant.

Why do you think they are like this?

Sailsbury. I feel so sorry for you all. You and your dp sound lovely and you are trying to do the right thing to protect your children.

My nanny used to be similar. She would visit us once a year and come bearing sweets and chocolate. My brother and I hated it. All we wanted was to see her more often and we got to a point where we refused the sweets as we just found it so sad. She saw one set of my cousins all the time. They got all her time and affection and it really hurt us. My other grandparents we saw every week and they treated my cousins and my brother and I the same. We were very close to them.

How old are your dc? Does SIL have dc too? Could you meet up with them for Easter and make a fuss of all the kids?

September?, more interested in other Grandchildren, no Christmas contact, leaving Easter eggs on the porch, ignoring your calls, confusing/upsetting/knocking your children's confidence and with the added threat of the Grandparents spreading lies around the community about the reasons why you have blocked them seeing their Grandchildren?

They do not deserve the children or you for that matter in their lives.

I would seek a good/very experienced therapist and have a chat before you make that decision. You can then decide together with therapist and your Husband if cutting them out altogether is the best option and how to go about it if it is.

Good luck x

(no commas - tired!)

Who's the more dominant PIL? I'm betting it's the MIL...
Do you get on with your SIL's partner/husband? Is he reasonable like you? (You sound lovely btw) If it were me I'd be sorely tempted to go with him as the 'partners' and tell them gently how you're all feeling - that way, you can't be accused of petty jealousy as I'm sure that's what they'd accuse your DH and his sister of. Sounds like these PIL's have messed with your DH's (and his sis's) heads .

If your children are at an age where they start noticing, and getting hurt, I'd tell them so. See what they do.

Not sure what else to suggest other than that. What does the 'golden' BIL say about it all?

Aaaah your poor DH! He and his sister must have felt so rejected growing up! That's so sad!

It's a tough one as they're not great grandparents but they're your DC's grandparents. It's not really about you and your DH, it's about your DCs... what will be gained from snubbing GPs who are generally not that bothered anyway?

You can accept the eggs, give them to your DCs and tell them who they're from and make sure that you or they thank GPs. Your DCs will make up their own minds when they're old enough.

I would say to the grandparents, "I'm afraid we aren't able ro accept your gift as the children are becoming confused as to why you are uninterested in them most of the time. We think it is best to stop contact while this situation continues"

I hate favouritism over GC's. Grrrrr.

What are your thoughts now OP?

OP, sadly I think your DP's preference for no contact is probably best in the long run. The 'playing the children off against each other' - no, I'd want to keep my DC away from that.

As for them spreading that you were blocking access in your small community - follow your SIL's lead. "You know, they only live round the corner, but from last September they haven't come to see DC once, not even at Christmas or birthdays. We phone and they don't call back. We've given up with them." Said to everyone, starting tomorrow.

YANBU their behaviour is disgusting. People have pulled them up on this behaviour and they still do it. I would ask dp to give them the eggs back, and tell them why. They sound toxic tbh, playing children off against each other and causing upset, better not to have anything to do with them until they change. Mabey cutting off contact all together may be what they need.