Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


DS's birthday and family

7 replies

TiredOfBeingTolerant · 12/04/2011 18:04

DS has a birthday on Friday and I have received cards today from my father and siblings for DS.

However, only a couple of months ago father and siblings fell out with me over something very trivial. They didn't inform me they had fallen out with me, but they have stopped returning calls, won't talk to me etc. I have since been very ill in hospital, my father and siblings were informed but didn't contact me or my children to see how any of us were.

My DS is only young and has no real concept of birthdays, but I am really angry that these family members seemingly didn't care what happened to DS a few weeks ago but are now sending cards.

I have also been informed by a good friend that these family members have been saying very unsavoury things about us (even whilst I was very ill) on social networking sites.

Would I be acting unreasonably by sending the cards back? Im not well enough for confronting their behaviour directly (as I am sure I will be met with aggression or they will twist everything round as my fault). I want to use this as a sounding board for what I should do as I can't quite make up my mind just yet.

FWIW I have changed names and some details as some of this could get specific and I don't want to be recognised.

OP posts:

lesley33 · 12/04/2011 18:07

YWBU. I guess their reasoning will be that they fell out with you, not your DS. So they shouldn't punish your DS by not sending cards. Don't send the cards back to them - that will just deepen the rift and seems a bit petty and spiteful.


mollymole · 12/04/2011 18:24

they want to send your child a card - they did not fall out with him and are being sensible in this situation - do you think they may be trying to build bridges and this could be an opening


justpaddling · 12/04/2011 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 12/04/2011 18:29

If they hadn't sent cards you would be on here posting at how you are aggrieved about that scenario.

The cards are not the issue here and it would be childish to send them back.


TiredOfBeingTolerant · 12/04/2011 18:33

Fair enough, I would be unreasonable to return them.

I just feel very aggrieved given the circumstances. But I suppose that is my issue.

Molly - no unfortunately I don't feel they are trying to build bridges. DS has been staying with various friends and family whilst I was ill, they didn't contact to check on him then, and they are still refusing calls etc.

OP posts:

castlesintheair · 12/04/2011 18:35

Don't return the cards.

Maintain your dignity. If things don't improve between you and your family - and hopefully they will - it will comfort you to know that you behaved impeccably at all times.


TiredOfBeingTolerant · 12/04/2011 18:37

Soup dragon - I try not to post about petty things, but their lack of contact during a very scary time for me was extremely hurtful.

I was very surprised that not one of them had been in touch and have been deeply confused about the existing family relations since. Hence the posting, like I said in the OP I wanted advice on the best way to deal with it as I am aware my upset is clouding my usual responses.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?