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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have made up a story to get out of dining at the in laws tonight?

11 replies

mamamona · 12/04/2011 16:58

...the answer is probably yes, but I want to hear 'no' to comfort me!

I bumped into my husband's grandmother whilst out shopping earlier this afternoon, and she only lives around the corner and asked me round for tea. I thought it was a brilliant idea as I hadn't seen her in a while and she's a lovely woman. DH's cousin also lives around the corner and she was home looking after her 13 month DS who also came over and we were having a great time, although I only expected to be there for an hour or so because I wanted to get back home asap, (I'm 33 weeks pregnant, anaemic, and had forgotten my iron tablets that morning so was feeling a bit down).

DH's grandmother suggested that we all eat there tonight for dinner, and for me to tell DH to come straight there after he finished work. I didn't even mind this as we all live quite close to each other, and I could be home in 15 mins if we walked, so I agreed to this. Then DH's uncle calls and says well since you are all there, why don't you come over to ours for dinner. Now, DH's uncle lives a good 30 mins away, and neither of us have a car and it would take us all 3 bus changes to get there, so would take us about 1 hour to get there and then another to get back. DH's grandmother and cousin seemed up for it, but for me, that would have meant me waiting until 7pm at DH's grandmother's house for DH to finish work, and then it would be around 8 pm to get to DH's uncle's house, we would get out of DH's uncle's house until 11 pm, then it would be midnight by the time we got back home, and I'm normally in bed by 10 because I get so shattered, and I would have been more so tonight as I hadn't taken my iron tablet.

So instead I made up a story to say I've just got this text to say I'm getting a parcel delivered at home between 5 - 6 and I'd have to be at home to receive it, and then added that DH just called to say he's finishing work late too, so count us out. DH's uncle then started shouting at DH's grandma to say that we never go to their house and what our problem was, and poor grandma looked really frightened! So I took the phone and said please understand, it was all last minute, but next time, let us know and we can properly plan to keep the evening free. He didn't seem to happy, and now I feel a bit shit. But the thought of going to DH's uncle's house leaves me a bit with a feeling of dread.

So, AIBU to make up a story to get out of dinner?

OP posts:

HeadfirstForHalos · 12/04/2011 17:01

yanbu to not want to go, but you should have just told them the truth!

There is nothing unreasonable at being very tired, heavily pregnant and not wanting to travel miles on a bus.

FabbyChic · 12/04/2011 17:02

No you weren't getting their was a pita.

Original poster

mamamona · 12/04/2011 17:06

Hmm, if I would have told them the truth, (DH has said before that I wasn't feeling too well at the beginning of the pregnancy a few times when morning sickness was horrendous, they were very non-receptive to it and still make us hear about using pregnancy as a great excuse. I thought that was one of the perks of being pregnant!!

OP posts:

Original poster

mamamona · 12/04/2011 17:07

) then they would probably make us hear about it for the rest of our lives!!

Pressed post msg by accident!! woops!

OP posts:

HeadfirstForHalos · 12/04/2011 17:11

Oh dear, well their attitude in itself is enough reason not to go there

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/04/2011 17:19

God, I don't blame you at all.

I agree if you had said that you wanted an early night due to pregnancy knackeredness, it wouldn't have gone down too well. It was probably better to fib to get out of traipsing all that way on the bus.

EldritchCleavage · 12/04/2011 17:35

Keen to see you, but not keen enough to offer to pick up and drop off a heavily pregnant woman and her tired DH? I would not expect you to do 3 bus changes in those circumstances, and especially not at very short notice. Don't feel too guilty!

oranges · 12/04/2011 17:41

Its why in laws must always be kept at arms length. With the best will in the world you will do something wrong.

Dropdeadfred · 12/04/2011 17:47

I wouldn't want to dine with anyone Luke him anyway even if he lived next door!! He sounds awful!

JanMorrow · 12/04/2011 17:57

I think you did the right thing! Maybe invite your DH's Gran over for dinner tomorrow or something though, poor thing! The moody uncle can go jump!

lesley33 · 12/04/2011 18:21

YABU - You should have just been honest. He shouldn't have spoken to you the way he did, but I understand him being annoyed. The parcel excuse sounds exactly what it is - an excuse. So he probably thinks you just don't like him.

I know in an ideal world he should have realised about the travel, but with some people this issue really wouldn't have occured to them.

So just be honest in the future.

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