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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Chocolate Raffle at preschool - would it upset you?

99 replies

MarioandLuigi · 12/04/2011 14:32

I am fundraising co-ordinator for my preschool (have been for about three years as my different children have gone through). I have organised a chocolate raffle to raise some funds for Easter. We have had one for as long as I have een going (which is 7 years)

One of the parents who's child started at Christmas has complained that its a terrible idea because not all children have chocolate (her little boy included) because parents dont want them to. Aparently she is boycotting it.

Would it bother you? We dont buy our children easter eggs (but my Dad does) but I buy the tickets because I want to raise funds for the preschool. Its a charity run one so apart from funding there is no outside financial support.

OP posts:

heliumballoons · 13/04/2011 11:49

YANBU. but I work in a School for pupils with SN. Some dairy intolerant/ allergic and some nil by mouth. We get them an easter themed soft toy. An alternative is helpful in these cases and worth considering.

Just to boycott on the basis they can't eat chocolate because of their age seems a little PFB IMO.

SolarPanel · 13/04/2011 12:25

I would be fine with a chocolate raffle. If she doesn't want to take part she could have just sent a polite note giving her opinion, just in case anyone else felt the same way. Not everyone will wish to take part in all fundraising and that's fine - just don't take part in the things you don't like, and suggest or help with things you'd wish to support.

newrose · 14/04/2011 00:17

Does anyone buy raffle tickets / do tombola with an eye on the prize? Surely it's about supporting your school / nursery and a winning ticket is a bonus?

The practical answer is to include a line on your posters or whatever, in the smallprint, saying that there'll be an alternative prize if required so everyone's happy.

The PTA member in me says that you're giving up your time to raise funds - if she is unhappy with what you're doing she needs to get involved herself. Good luck with that ;)

VivaLeBeaver · 14/04/2011 00:19

She's a muppet. Hope she's a MN'er and reads this and realises she's a muppet

CurrySpice · 14/04/2011 00:25

I have smirked at a creme egg being "inappropriate" as an Easter gift fgs

sunnydelight · 14/04/2011 03:37

It definitely wouldn't upset me and boycott woman is being an idiot. If she objects her child does not have to take part - trying to change everything around you to accommodate your own hang ups is selfish beyond belief.

NetworkGuy · 14/04/2011 03:53

Best ask boycott woman what your Easter Bunny DH should present instead, so she doesn't get offended "again" because of a "wrong" decision... seriously, as you had arranged for DH to do something nice, and leaving her child out would cause upset (on 2 counts, her and her child) then an alternative needs to be agreed, even if it is hard to want to accommodate this woman...

Think she is being a bit OTT and as others have said, if some raffle prize isn't suitable, there's no massive pressure to buy tickets, but to go that one step extra is just a self-importance thing.

Can see you are upset as you put effort into such events, but it isn't as if 50% or 75% are like this, just one daft woman unhappy parent.

anonymosity · 14/04/2011 04:30

YANBU the woman is a kiljoy. How can you boycott chocolate ffs...? god, talk about climbing up one's middle class arse and disappearing.

seeker · 14/04/2011 06:26

We always have a massive easter egg reffle at our primary school. All the children in the hall, about 50 eggs and the Head teacher pulling out the tickets and stirring the kids up to a frenzy before he sends them home. It's looked forward to all year.

We always have a couple of non chocolate alternatives in case one of the children with an allergy/intolerance wins. But I'm afraid we ignore the few "oh it's such a bad message for a healthy school to put out" moans.

jubilee10 · 14/04/2011 07:23

Don't be too hard on her. At some time over the next 10 years she will realise what a wally she has been and there will probably be quite a few Nursery Mums around to see it. It may be dawning on her already!

In the meantime I would ask her what alternative she would like for her ds from the Easter Bunny or ask if she would prefer to keep him away from nursery that day. If this is her attitude he is going to miss out on quite a few things over the years.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 14/04/2011 07:31

She's probably got the hump because she knows that she would actually be the one to scoff it except she's doing weight watchers and is one pound away from her silver 7 or whatever it is. So she's removing the temptation.

faverolles · 14/04/2011 07:40

A woman at my dc's old playgroup didn't let her children eat chocolate. When it came to Easter raffle time, she still bought tickets, because it was about supporting the playgroup, not about winning.
She won one year, and donated the prize to the salvation army for their Easter lunch for the homeless.

This woman is being U and a bit stupid.
Put her in charge of a fundraiser and seewhat gems she comes up with!

Blatherskite · 14/04/2011 08:15

Before the holidays our Pre school gave every child one of those Eggheads easter eggs just because it was Easter! PFB woman would have had a meltdown :)

She is BU and needs to remember this is about the fundraising not her personal preferences. Every year, our preschool gives out tubes of Smarties to the children with a note on saying that the children are welcome to eat the sweeties but could the parents please send the tubes back filled with change. It's one of our most popular and sucessful money raisers - especially when the parents include a few 20p coins in with the coppers! I could object as we boycott Nestle in this house and as I'm on the committee, I could probably cause some trouble over it, but I decided not to. It's only once a year, it raises a lot of money for the pre school and as we are a charity too, every penny counts and when DS came running out grinning like a loon clutching his tube of sweeties, I could hardly snatch them from him and tell him he couldn't have them could I? Even if I did replace them with something else - I'd still have a packet of Smarties. I considered asking the pre school to use an alternative sweetie but couldn't think of anything that would work so well so decided not to rock the boat.

The lollies your DH is giving out is a little different though as I'd feel sorry for the child being left out. After all, it's not his fault his mother is a loony. Could you pick him up a little craft kit from on of the supermarkets instead? Still not great as he'll wonder why his gift is different but better than him being left with nothing.

Acekicker · 14/04/2011 08:52

The allergy aspect is a red herring for this kind of stuff. Any parent of a genuinely allergic child (ie not one using a self-diagnosed 'intolerance' [sic] as a cover for their own food nazi tendencies) is used to their child being given stuff they can't have. The parent/teacher just swaps it out for a treat from a swap box and scoffs the original prize themselves

KenDoddsDadsDog · 14/04/2011 08:57

If I didn't want my DD to have lolly or chocolate prize, I would eat it myself. Simple.

bruffin · 14/04/2011 09:01

My only ever concern with chocolate used in a raffle/prize was once the pta got people to fill jam jars with sweets as a tombola prize. There was no lables on any of the sweets so we couldn't see what was suitable for DS (nut allergy)
If parents are going to ban chocolate they should be prepared to take the consequences when their child can't have what is every other child is having, and not make the organiser feel guilty about it.
The chocolate rabbit lollipop sounds a lovely idea, don't pander to the pfb mums

Acekicker · 14/04/2011 09:06

We've had that too bruffin but that's where the swap box comes into its own... DS school bend over backwards to accommodate his allergy so it won't kill him (pun intended) to occasionally have to have something different when we're talking school fairs/PTA raffles etc - whilst it's occasionally difficult for him, he's going to have to learn to suck it up as he gets older in any case when his friends want to go for a curry/Chinese etc.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/04/2011 10:50

its for charity

some parents

ignore her and carry on and say to her that next year she can organize the entire raffle

obv some children dont/cant have chocolate so maybe nice to have a small soya/jelly bean prize incase

superdragonmama · 14/04/2011 11:20

I'm feeling very sorry for her child: how will the child feel when the Easter Bunny gives him or her something different from all the other kids/doesn't give him or her anything simply because the mother is being a so and so? This is mother is putting her selfish needs before those of her child. Surely it would be kinder to allow her child to have a small amount of chocolate rather than risk her child being singled out in front of all the other children?

Poor kid :(

superdragonmama · 14/04/2011 11:23

I mean, the child will be singled out for no good reason - obv some kids can't have chocolate, but there's usually a decent reason - the mum being silly doesn't seem like a good reason to me!

bruffin · 14/04/2011 12:04

I doesn't bothered me whether the chocolate is suitable or not. DS learnt a long time ago there was things he couldn't have and school tended be good at asking me. I just would have liked it to be clearly labled.

Original poster

MarioandLuigi · 14/04/2011 12:13

Thanks for your comments everyone - The Chocolate raffle did go ahead and although the Mum didnt buy any tickets most of the other parents did and we raised over £120 so I am very pleased.

OP posts:

Original poster

MarioandLuigi · 14/04/2011 12:13

I like the Smartie Tube idea Blatherskite

OP posts:

Blatherskite · 14/04/2011 13:18

You might but I bet PFB Mum won't

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