This all happened a little while ago and although I was a bit upset about it, I was pretty confident that I wasn't BU. But last night I read the thread on here about trampolines, and it made me wonder whether my expectations are out of kilter with everyone else's...so....
My next door neighbour has a large trampoline for her DS, which was sited on the opposite side of her garden to ours. It's a bit noisy, yes, but it hasn't ever bothered me; I like hearing her DS enjoying himself. Then they moved the trampoline so that it was up against our fence. The fence on that side is our responsibility, and it is bowed due to the pressure of her shrubs and trees against it (I have asked her to prune them back but she didn't do so enough to stop the bowing). There's no guard on the trampoline, so I was a bit concerned that someone was going to bounce off it onto the fence, and saw the fence shaking a few times. Her DS was leaning on the fence too, carrying out shouted conversations with the boy on the other side of us (ie across the garden). The noise when he and friends were on there was suddenly very very intrusive; it sounded like they were actually in my garden, and things were getting dropped over the fence onto my pond and plants.
I decided to ask my neighbour if she could move it back to the other side of the garden (her neighbour on that side is a housebound lady who doesn't use her garden). My relationship with my neighbour (call her X) has been really good, bordering on friendship, although I've always felt it was pretty one sided (hence I say 'bordering on'). X is an 'asker' - she's comfortable asking for favours that I wouldn't dream of doing - and I've felt bad saying no to things she's asked me in the past, even when I've thought she was being a bit cheeky; driving her on a hundred mile round trip in rush hour to collect something she'd got on freecycle (she did offer the petrol money 
), or borrowing my camera to take out. So because she's an asker, I thought she wouldn't mind my asking her to move the trampoline back. Next time X came round to borrow something, I said
"While you're here..... could you possibly move the trampoline back to the other side of the garden?". She asked why, and I explained about the fence, and added
"Also, it's really noisy". I also asked if there was any reason she'd moved it in the first place, and she said no, her DS had done so. All fine, I thought.
Five days later it was the weekend and she hadn't moved it. Saturday afternoon sitting in my garden, her DS and his friend on it making loads of noise. X was there along with her bloke and his friend, so I went round. Her bloke answered the door and I said
"Hiya, I wondered if you'd mind moving the trampoline over the other side of the garden - I did ask X about it earlier in the week and she said it was fine". X was in the kitchen and then said
"Yes I said I would Daffodils but I haven't had time" in a really narky tone. I said
"Well could you do it now?" (thinking that there were three adults there and two boys, so it would only take a minute) to which she replied
"I'm busy Daffodils - I'll do it when I'm ready" in a really narky tone. I walked away, as I did so saying
"It sounds like they're in my fucking garden, X"
I was really pissed off at the way she spoke to me. I feel like I've done a lot for her in the past; I used to have her DS round here (he's a fair bit older than my DD) on a regular basis when she wasn't back in time to meet his taxi, and it's still not unusual for her to ring me at home time and ask if I can go and check him. I've run errands for her, listened to her endlessly talking about her relationship woes, and for the last year and a half, they've had free use of my internet after I gave her my router password because she said she couldn't afford internet access and her DS needed it for school etc. She's never offered a contribution or gift, but her DS has come round several times to tell me if he can't access it!
I came back round and tbh thought 'fuck you - all this and you won't even do one thing I ask of you without giving me loads of attitude; that's the last favour I do for you!' So I changed my internet password.
X moved the trampoline, and then posted a note through the door saying 'Perhaps if you speak to people with respect, you will gain the respect you deserve. Love, light and blessings, X', which made me hoot with astonishment, since I felt that it was her who had spoken with utter disrespect. Since then, she has pointedly ignored me, and when I've said hello she has grunted in response. I thought this was a bit childish - we still have to be neighbours after all. It has bothered me, as I don't like having bad feeling with people, and I'd wondered how I could have handled it better. I've been telling myself though, that this is her issue, and I won't be dragged into some feud.
But then reading the thread about trampolines, people seemed outraged that anyone could even consider asking someone to move their trampoline. So was I being unreasonable to ask?