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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to get rid of any of my books?

65 replies

notremotelyintofootie · 11/04/2011 19:36

I love books, always have and always will....

Over the years I have built up a huge collection but when dh moved in about 4-5 years ago I packed up a load to make space for his crap stuff....

We moved house last year and had to put some bits into storage until we could declutter and sadly a load of my books were included, in this house I have a measly 2 book cases but I need to empty the storage unit so have been decluttering like mad, selling some bits on eBay and have given loads of stuff to charity, however not my books...

We don't really have room for any more bookcases and the shed isn't watertight so the only place for the boxes of books is my 'study' but dh is already trying to get me out of there for dsd (if I don't have a study we need full time child care at the cost of £1150 a month! And I wouldn't be able to do extra work like examining without it....), if and when dsd moves in dd will come in with us rather than share with dsd as there is a 14-15 year age gap....

Anyway, dh keeps saying I need to get rid of my books but I don't want to!!! They aren't trashy novels by the way, I have about 100-200 relevant to my work and lots of lovely sets of classics (for the kids in the future too!) and complete sets of stephen king and Terry pratchet which ds who is 11 will be into soon.... I have quite a few I havent read yet too!

So aibu to not want to give up my babies??? (dh has about 700-900 vinyl albums btw and I would never tell him to give up them!)

OP posts:

onceamai · 11/04/2011 21:21

Not sure. DH has 0000's of them. He never dusts them. We are very lucky, we have a very large house - if this hadn't been possible some would have had to go (nearly 20 years ago). There is a 10 foot wall full at his mothers - he wont' throw them out - he hasn't really looked at them since 1980 - THEY ARE NOT COMING TO THIS HOUSE. His mother should have raised an ultimatum 20 years ago - sort and collect by 30th January 19xx or they go in a skip. With Kindles I'm not sure that anything other than the odd sentimential edition or signed first edition needs to be kept (I've got signed copies of the Butterfly Lion, Private Peaceful and Kensuke's Kingdom - bought for 10GBP in Oxfam.)

ChaoticAngelofDenial · 11/04/2011 21:32

YANBU Get rid of your DH instead That way you'll have more room for your books

queenbathsheba · 11/04/2011 21:36

A couple of walls with floor to ceiling shelves and your whole collection of books can look great and be very tidy. Men though........ mine never looks presentable (unless I get him dressed) and has a habit of making any room look untidy

mamatomany · 11/04/2011 21:37

I do not understanding owning books, I get them from the library or buy them, read em and then get rid, do you seriously read the same books over and over ?

Fayrazzled · 11/04/2011 21:43

I think YABU. I am an avid reader and love books, so it's not that I don't understand that sentiment, but I'm not prepared for books to compromise my living space. I got fed up of tottering piles of books in every room- I couldn't find books I wanted easily; the house looked untidy etc etc. And I realised that really, if I made a mistake and got rid of a book I truly wanted to reread later than in all probability I would be able to get hold of it- the internet is a wonderful resource in that regard.

And I definitely think there is some truth in the sentiment another poster has mentioned, that people hang on to their books, not so much because of the books themselves but because of what they perceive a vast collection of books says about them (learned, intelligent, well-read, interesting etc). I'm not suggesting this is the full story of course, but I think for some people (and I would include my 'old' self in this), it is a part.

Dozer · 11/04/2011 21:45

Am a bookworm but YABU! Sounds like the space is needed and how many of the books do you regularly read / refer to?

Kindle, ipad, library, book exchanges, charity shops. Just keep your very favourites and the ones for the kids.

queenbathsheba · 11/04/2011 21:50

Why would you get rid of books but keep "the ones for the kids" kids grow up and start reading everything not just kipper and biff!

dyzzidi · 11/04/2011 21:53

I have had a masive clear out after DH bought me a kindle. I had hundreds of books but none of them very expensive. I gave loads to the local hospice loads to friends. All of the ones which were like new I sold on Amazon marketplace.

I was very liberating!

Inertia · 11/04/2011 22:04

I think you need to meet in the middle. You have a sort through and give away any that you won't read again and don't want to keep for your children. Keep anything relevant for work, and books that you will read again or pass on to the children. DH can have a sort through his vinyl too (why wouldn't you dream of asking him to rationalise his stuff??)

If you need a study for work then you need a study for work. Can you not put dividing screens in the room that the two girls will share? Or if dsd needs a room, can you create a screened-off office area in your bedroom?

takethisonehereforastart · 11/04/2011 22:07

waves at fellow librarything user bilblio

No you are not being unreasonable.

If your study is helping you with your work and losing it means losing work and paying more in childcare then another solution has to be found. It's not just about the books when you bring that into it.

I have well over 2000 books now and mine may well be what you would call trashy novels (IDK, they aren't Mills and Boons or anything but they aren't all classics either, a lot of whatever Waterstones will do as 3 for 2 etc, a big collection of Virago greens, weird and wonderfuls from bargain bookshops or Oxfam etc) but I also have the Terry Pratchetts and Stephen Kings and I'd be very sorry to lose them. I do have an occasional cull but each book that goes is usually replaced by three others.

Can you store them anywhere else in the house? Under the beds? Cupboard under the stairs? In the wardrobes?

I'd recommend Library Thing by the way, it's a great site and if you ask in talk for some storage solutions I'd bet someone could help you.

Hassled · 11/04/2011 22:08

You could take my late father's approach which was to remove radiators to make space for more bookcases. The house was pretty damned chilly but at least there were books :o.

You're right - keep your books. Books matter.

cerealqueen · 11/04/2011 22:27

Your books tell a story about the person you are. Don't do it!

Original poster

notremotelyintofootie · 11/04/2011 22:30

Librarything looks interesting... How easy is it to use and how long does it take to load up?

To answer a few, my work relevant books I need to keep for referencing and lecture plans.... So thats easily 200+ ....

Ones I love.... Mmm pretty much the rest!

OP posts:

takethisonehereforastart · 11/04/2011 22:37

It's very easy to use, occasionally it's a bit slow in talk and I don't think you need to download it to use it (it's been a long time since I joined.

You can catalogue your first 200 books for free and then it's about £10 for a lifetime membership. Obviously a one-off payment.

I have to warn you it might add to your collection. Recommendations and the Early Reviewers and Member Giveaways don't make cutting down easy.

But once you start cataloging books it gets addictive very quickly and once you get the hang of that the other features (talk, reviews etc) are also a lot of fun.

Skeptical · 12/04/2011 00:29

I could never ever get rid of my books, although DH would love me to!

As a kid I was an avid reader. I think this was fueled by the fact that my mum and Dad had a wide variety of books around for me to get stuck into. I want DS to be the same, so I could never get rid of any of them, even the ones I know I would never read again.

bilblio · 12/04/2011 10:05

do you seriously read the same books over and over?
Yes
I couldn't find books I wanted easily
I know exactly where all 900+ of my books are, usually down to the shelf they are on... I get a bit tetchy if I can't find one.
But I'm very good at this kind of stuff. I've been known to tell DH which corner of which drawer a random piece of technical equipment is that we haven't used for about 8 years. :o

I use libraries for DD's books and occasionally reference books for myself, but it can take me ages to read a book nowadays and getting to the library isn't always easy so I end up paying fines.
I also usually forget I've finished a book until it's bedtime... and I'd not be able to get to the library then. :)

You log books onto librarything by putting in the ISBN. I joined when it first started and it was very slow back then but it's improved massively. It took me a couple of weeks to get all my books on, I sent days surrounded by piles of books. It was great :) Annoyingly I haven't kept it up so we've lots of books not listed... maybe that with be my task for the next lot of Mat leave.

takethisonehereforastart care to share your LT username? Mine is the same as my MN name :)

Morloth · 12/04/2011 10:13

I have book hoarding tendencies also. I just can't sell them/give them away.

I don't know what the answer is. Do you need your DH? Baby? DSD? There must be some way to keep the books...

Morloth · 12/04/2011 10:14

I read my books over and over again, they are spread throughout the house, but I can put my hand on the one I want whenever I want to.

I am like a dragon on my hoard, if someone 'borrows' one (DH only loaned one of my books once without asking), I feel a disturbance in the force.

QuietTiger · 12/04/2011 11:00

I'm not the right person to ask about getting rid of my books.... Because my books have their own ROOM and insist on breeding!

Original poster

notremotelyintofootie · 14/04/2011 17:28

Oh dear.... I've sold one specialist book on amazon but bought myself 2 new ones an dd 4 new ones in town today in bargain shops/stalls! There is no hope for me! Lol

OP posts:

ensure · 14/04/2011 20:03

We got rid of a few hundred books last year and I don't regret it! We still have two full walls and crates and boxes in the loft. I think we will get rid of more as we are planning a move.
Ones that you don't really love love love don't need to be in your house, or that's what I am trying to tell myself ready for another sort out!

Reallyusefulengine · 14/04/2011 20:13

Awful situation. We lived abroad for a few years and I had to pack the ones I couldn't live without and put the rest into storage. When I got home I pretty much gave the ones in storage away. I think I had well over a 1000 but ended up with a definitive collection of about 400. It worked really well and even now, if I don't like the book I have just read it goes in the charity box. Now I love every single book I own and it feels lovely.

zipzap · 14/04/2011 20:57

Tell your dh that you will get rid of one book for every lp he gets rid of... So long as you are pretty sure that he won't want to get rid of any of his

OnlyTwin · 14/04/2011 21:31

YANBU! Books are precioussss. I've got the dragon's hoard going on too, and when lending them I have a vague sense of unease until they return to the fold.

Perhaps my short-term memory isn't up to scratch because I enjoy re-reading my favourites over and over again.

Acinonyx · 14/04/2011 21:41

This is really tough. Books are my nesting material. We've made space (including building in a lot of shelves) for over 2000, but I've had to accept that we must cull them every year now. Even having them in every room but the bathroom - there just is no more space . I had a big cull about 3 years ago and got rid of whole sections. It hurt - but then I had a bit of space for the new ones.

I also hoard vinyl - dh has tried to get me to part with it....

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