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4 replies

Amileaminute · 11/04/2011 16:53

Any advice please! I am a South London mum to an 18 month old toddler, and am getting frustrated with making friends with other mums. Friends have always been massively important to me, as I have a small family, and my dad died when I was little. I admit that I'm quite a hyper person, always on the go, and maybe a bit intense at times, but I've always found it reasonably easy to meet people and have a laugh doing things together, often through sport (tennis, walking, climbing, cycling, swimming).
My two oldest friends live outside London and became mums at the same time as me, 18 months ago. They are both now really busy with difficulties at work, moving house, and one of them is starting a business. I therefore don't get to speak to them much or see them more than every few months if I'm lucky. I am lucky that I don't have any of these stresses, but I have considerably less family support.
Since becoming a mum I have made massive efforts to meet other mums and organise interesting things to do, e.g. baby massage, baby swimming, badminton, picnics. I did the NCT thing but everyone seemed very tired for the first few months and we drifted apart. Through another postnatal group, I have met some sweet ladies and gorgeous kids, but I remain the one who organises everything. Plus, I have introduced them to other friends and also to my family and husband, but everyone else seems to want to keep this mums' circle separate from family and other friends.
I love being a mum but really miss my old friends, their generosity and humour and sheer fizz. I have tried to look at sports for mother and toddler but have not found much apart from babyswimming, which I have already tried for a long time. Will I ever meet any proper mum friends and can anyone suggest ways of doing this?

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 11/04/2011 16:55

Your friends dont have to be mums you know!!.. widen your outlook.. women without children usually have a lot more free time on their hands to spend with their friends, and often enjoy the company of their friends children too.


Amileaminute · 11/04/2011 17:00

Thanks squeaky, you're quite right. I work part time and have friends through work, also some at my tennis club. It's just that few of them want to spend extended time with DS. He's pretty good as toddlers go, but they don't want to spend their precious weekends off tolerating toddler tantrums or confined by routine. Plus it would mean I could spend time with DS and have adult conversation.

OP posts:

poopnscoop · 11/04/2011 17:22

Us mums-to-be (hopefully) feel left out of things often as it is, when our pals become mums... we are good friends too ya know!!! ;)


Amileaminute · 11/04/2011 17:29

I guess so, poopnscoop, but think of all the baby clothes you will inherit! My friends who were already mums provided most of the 0-3 months stuff in rainbow colours!

OP posts:
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