TO BE CONFUSED ABOUT HOW I SHOULD BE FEELING, ABOUT HOW TODAY WOULD HAVE BEEN OUR 15TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY?

[Allalone0]

I have been separated from my exh for 21 months now, today WOULD have been our 15th wedding anniversary, not sure how I should be feeling.

This time last year I was on holiday with just me and the dcs, so didn't really feel it. Now i'm at home its hard to get away from thinking about it.

I separated cos he was abusive, which i dont regret doing.

I always feel a bit sad and unsettled on what would have been our anniversary and I know my ex feels the same because we usually exchange a nice text or two

Having said that, he was not abusive

Poncey's idea sounds nice

I like Ponceys suggestion - go treat yourself to something nice and give your DCs a cuddle (if they'll let you) when they get home.

You have survived an abusive relationship and have come out the other side, be proud of that for both you and your DCs.

I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling confused. I haven't been in this situation but would imagine there must be some feelings of loss for how you imagined your marriage would be.

Thanks guys, I like your idea aswell Poncey.

Looking back I do feel relief that i'm not with him yet I guess I am still grieving for the loss of our marriage...:(

For most the wedding day is one of those 'happiest day..' times. It is always going to be difficult when your split is quite recent (in terms of the length of the marriage). Accept the feeling as totally normal - it's more grieving for an idea, for me. What I thought and hoped we had - not what was really happening. Try to find a positive focus later - maybe something you are lucky to have - your DC, your health, anything.

There is no way that you should be feeling. There aren't rules about this.

Every year on mine (would have been 13 in February, we split 7 1/2 years ago) I feel immensely free. I am SO much happier now!