to be upset about inceident in my local swimming pool

[easterbunnies]

Hi all. Was at 7 year old dds swimming lesson last week and suffering rotten morning sickness at the time. Pool gets packed with people so I got daughter's clothes out of locker and placed in cubicle while i got her out of shower round the corner. All took less than 1 min. When I got back to changing cubicle, door was locked with daughters clothes etc inside! I immediately thought it was me being forgetful as I was so sick that day and figured I couldnt remember which room it was. Low and behold after 15 mins of dd shivering, the door opens and a woman emerges nonchanantly with her grandson with all our stuff inside! I shook my head and calmly said that I thought what she did was dreadful. She smirked and told me that was tough; her grandson was ready first so she felt entitled to take the cubicle. I said she could have at least put our stuff out as my dd frozen and upset as we thought her bag had been lost/knicked.

At this point she started pushing back against the door so I couldn't close it as I was getting really annoyed by her and wanted to end the exchange. I know I was v wrong in what happened next but I told her to piss off. Think it was partly caused by sickness, may have shorter fuse. No excuse though. She abused me back, told me I was such a lady and a bad mother. I saw red then and pushed against the door to shove her out while yelling at her to get out as she was wedged in the door so i couldnt close it.

When we came out she was waiting for us. I apologised to her for my behaviour and said I was pregnant and very sick. She said she could not care less. She continued abusing me, as we walked towards my car. My dd wet herself as she was frightened by this. I am shocked at how I snapped at her in pool as thats not like me at all but Im not feeling myself. Ive been so stressed lately as this is first pregnancy after MC and Ive been so scared as it took me yrs to get pregnant again and Im now in later 30s.

I hope there wont be another showdown at next class as my nerves cant take it! What do you think?

thanks for all replies. I know I was wrong to be rude to her too and to be fair there are many mums leaving clothes in cubicles for whole class to ensure they have one after and she prob thought id done that. I know i should wait until dd is back in changing area before taking cubicle in future, it really only was a min though (still technically hogging though admittedly!) I guess she caught me on a bad day and things escalated in a way they never would normally which is sad. I still think it was wrong of her to keep dds stuff inside, if she had put it out it would have been fair enough tbh. I thought when I apologised that that should have ended it but it says a lot about her that she followed me abusing me. She seemed to relish the whole drama. I intend to avoid her next week, big time! I've no doubt she will have another go at me, but we'll see, hopefully not

everlong- i know i should have done that, stupid of me really, I was just afraid there might be a child in there on there own getting dressed and was trying to avoid that.

Why didn't you ask one of the swimming pool staff to help and get your stuff out of the cubicle - why would you just stand their for 15 minutes ?

Well in her defence

1. You baggsed the cubicle and she would have had no idea how long you would be gone for. She was perfectly entitled to use.
2. You choose to wait around outisde rather than knock and ask her to pass out the clothes then you blamed her for your daughter being cold - this was not her fault how was she to know you were out of the pool and waiting?
3. You told her when she came out her behaviour in taking the cubicle was dreadful. I think up unitl this point she had done absoloutly nothing wrong and I would not have taken kindly to be spoken to like that either.

However i have to say her behaviour after this point was disgraceful. Pushing back on the door, abusing you, following you to your car, although you hardly covered yourself in glory telling her to piss off.

Think you escalated things by lecturing her after coming out as it was your actions that got you into that position not hers but she behaved terribly.

I think you were both in the wrong tbh, but to be fair, you did appologize and she continued the abuse, which says alot about who is the bigger person.

Don't worry, let it go and put it down to experience.

better not bigger!

yabu to feel so strongly a week later. Surely you could have knocked or allow your dd shower herself and meet you in the changing room. It obviously wasn't worth it for the few minutes you may have saved by getting the clothes out - lesson learnt.

the weird thing about it all is that there were actually many free cubicles. I noticed that when I was looking for the bag hoping that someone had put it out of the one it was left in. I think she was planning on teaching someone a lesson that day and it was me on the receiving end as usual lol

Maybe she was, as I said it can be a PITA when parents 'reserve' cubicles.
Do these things often happen to you?

Can I ask, why do you need a cubicle to get changed? The men's changing rooms dont have them and their is no "bagging of cubicles".

Next time can you just get changed if there is no cubicle?

she was mental and probably walks all over people who don't usually push back - I bet she will think twice about being an asshole next time as she won't always be unchallenged when she is being a dick. People like that need some uncontrollable outcomes after they have been a tool - I bet she also parks in disabled places withough being disabled and then shouts at people who point it out to her as if it is their fault.

Goblinchild these things never happen to me, as i said i was having a bad day and I contributed to how things escalated. Im very chilled out normally! Usually we try to change in the tiny communal room but its really hard to get in there as people bring in buggies and before you know it you cant even open the door without risking wacking someone with it. The room is just badly designed. They should have built one large communal area with a few cubicles rather than other way round!

You said the pool was packed with people in your OP, and that was your justification for bagging a cubicle. So if there were loads of free cubicles, why did you bother?

I think that swimming pools bring out the worst on people! I remember the 'bagging of cubicles' being a constant problem when mine had lessons. People would do it and then others would use it anyway. The management would then put up notices or do loudspeaker announcements that you were not to leave belongings when you were not there-all to no avail. I bet that little scenario is played out all over the country! No one comes out well-forget it.

well i suppose a few mins had passed at that stage tbh, it was packed but different groups are arriving and leaving at different times and it does empty out quickly as everyone is in a hurry. The free rooms were on a different side to where we were originally

We used to have that problem when ours where little but it is also a mixed changing room, we just used the group changing more room.

I dont blame you for being annoyed

however I would have known when to stop,I know pregnancy hormones make it worse

Sue, I think they do! I was shocked at my reaction, felt like i was losing the plot. Hormones must play some part in an overblown response like that. Its so long since I was pregnant last time i had forgotten, not being able to eat from the nausea and lack of sleep to boot doesn't always make for a stable person, in my case anyway. Although all my friends seem to fly through it calm as you like!

Yeah its true I would have the last word if it killed me and was so overly sensitve llike TOM but x100