to not buy my 8 yo DD cropped bra-style vests?

[YourCallIsImportant]

She thinks that I am.

Most of her friends wear them including K, who I keep being reminded, is only 6.

I think at her age she should be in a proper vest. I know I sound like my granny, and I'm prepared to be told IABU.

DD1 has just started wearing crop tops now and she is 11 and in Year 7! She has just the tiniest start of breast development and most of her friends wear bras. She wanted something to cover up when changing for games but does not need a bra yet. Crop tops are perfect.

I would not have considered buying them at primary school unless she had developed enough to need one. Some of her friends were wearing bras towards the end of Year 6. I think that there is a balance between growing up too soon and being comfortable depending on how your DD develops.

Perfume at 11
Why?

My DD started wearing them at 8 because I felt she needed to as she was starting to develop. They were white very plain from M & S, like a sports crop top.

I certainly needed anti-perspirant at 11 (ZR iirc). WRT perfume, nobody really needs perfoume, but it's nice to have; my mother bought me my first bottle of Rive Gauche at 12. I had cheapy Avon stuff well before that, though.

I think the Rive Gauche was an attempt to lure me away from the horrors of Impulse and Limara.

back to the OP - crop tops seem a fair compromise for tweens who don't need a bra yet.

I think a crop top or a cami vest is fine. I remember i had some at primary school and didnt develop until about 15 ish (and even now still not a lot there !). I think adults see it as sexualing children whereas children (if handelled correctly) see it more as being rown up not sexual at all.
My crop tops were pinky with pearl buttons at the front.The buttons ended up digging into me so i think i pretty much didnt bother apart from the first few wears. When i got older i wanted to wear bras more to stop people noticing i was different rather than anything else. Like Quodlibet says if my mum hadnt bouht them because i had nothing there id have felt even more embarrassed. And they were padded ones too to ive me a little shape that i didnt have yet. Although i was about 13/14 by that time not 8 so i can see where you are comin from.

If it's what the rest of her friends are wearing, I don't see much of an issue. At the tender age of six, my best friend and I campaigned vigorously, and ultimately successfully, for the right to choose whether or not to wear vests, on the somewhat suspect grounds that most of the other girls in our class didn't wear them. Crop-tops weren't widely available way back then, and I never hankered after them anyway as they seemed almost as constricting as vests. I wasn't over-endowed upstairs, so I never really got into bras until I went to secondary school, where the somewhat translucent uniform white blouses really dictated some semblance of underwear. We never inflicted vests on our own kids once they outgrew the poppered baby ones, but DD did have a few crop-tops, at her suggestion, as a precursor to her first bra.

I'm glad I had boys but I remember being so desperate for a bra that I tried to make one myself when I was 10. My sewing skills weren't up to it sadly and I had to wait until I was 12 by which time all my friends were wearing them and I was still in a vest.

If I'd had a girl then I suspect I'd have bought them although it would have been after persuasion.

I'm a soft touch though

I haven't really seen any of these crop tops but to me either kids need a vest - i.e. up to about May usually, with the last few days being an exception...or they don't need anything underneath. DD1 is only five so I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it...she did make me laugh saying she was going to wear her "best" knickers as a couple of boys had told her they liked those knickers when they were getting changed for PE...

The crux of the problem seems to be getting changed for PE - I like the Aussie system where kids go to school in sports uniform on sport/PE days. Nobody has to get changed in front of anyone else so nobody knows what you are wearing underneath - sorted

I had the opposite problem. My dd started to develop breasts at around the age of 9. By the age of 10 she really needed to cover them, but would she wear a crop top? Would she hell.

I had a bit of a nightmare trying to convince her to wear one without actually saying "listen dd, you have boobs!! You have to wear one!!"
She did eventually start to wear one when her friends were pointing out the obvious to her.

She's 11 now and will happily wear a crop top. Of course now she really needs to wear a bra but has started on the same path of denial.
I've decided to sit tight and hope she sees it for herself soon enough

YABU - if she wants to wear a crop top, I see no harm in it. It's not as though it's a padded bra!

YADNBU!!! My daughter just turned 7 and one person, I don't know who, gave her a matching cropped-vest/bra and knicker set... I was disgusted, who buys those for little girls?

should add, the set I am talking about was high cut panties and lace edged crop vest shaped like a bra... inappropriate, not like a sports crop top...