To be stressed about choosing a car seat?

[ewille]

Argh, DD is 9 months old and is in need of a new car seat. There is too much choice, too many things to take into consideration and I'm getting stressed! Stupid eh.

My DH very helpfully said "whatever you think is right" so I thought I chose one of those Kiddy car seats with the funny tray instead of a harness. I found one for £175 which I thought was a lot to cough up but if it lasted until she is 12 then its not so bad. Then my DH said "what's wrong with a £50 one" and then pointed another article that said they should be rear facing and then realised how much they cost and said "I'm sure a front facing one will be fine." ARGHHHHHHHHH.
AIBU to ask him to either help me choose based on criteria of safety, comfort and cost or just leave it to me and cough up?
AIBU to think that these articles prey on our fear of harm to our children and create paranoia? Would front facing seats really be approved if they were so unsafe? What should I do???? ARGHHHHHHHHH.
AIBU to have a gin and tonic and pick one out of a hat?

with my sister she already had 4 so wasn't likely to listen

God that annoys me the i've had 4 i know everything attitude, I've always kept up to date with any changes, re read the baby books with each child otherwise you could miss something very important which short changes number 4 to their determent.

Anyway, rear facing, the child knows no different so why on earth would they be happier forward facing, they've never done it.

Went through the same thing, researched exhaustively and went with a maxi cosi that was recommended by Which, and after buying it a friend found info about rear facing seats and now I keep getting the word "decapitation" in my mind and feeling really sick to my stomach. But we can't afford to buy another one and don't know if I am being too pfb about it given how much driving around anyway.

Rearfacing every time. Should fit til 3 or 4. Worth every penny.

I'm with you OP

thinking of getting RF for dd3 but there isn't anyone local to us & would need to fit both cars & can't do a 4 h drive to a shop to with 2 cars.

Also want isofix but have read not to put a leg on the cubby holes on the floor which dh car has.

ARGH!!!!

There's a lot to understand about the rear-facing seats (things that don't apply to FF). They tether in a different way from FF seats (don't suit all cars). You can't (while it's installed) ever move the passenger seat (in front) that they are braced against. They can be tricky to install properly yourself (you probably will need to refit it sometimes, or else never wash the covers even if she's puked on them). You won't get 3 RF seats across a car 2nd row (don't laugh until it's you who ends up with newborn twins when your DC1 is only 18m old), an older child can't easily scramble past a RF seat curbside to get to a booster seat roadside. RF is not a simple decision, and that's leaving aside cost, comfort, propensity to get sick and distribution issues.

I buy (FF) seats that fit most cars well, don't cost the earth, from sources with easy to access customer service, & that (most important) are easiest to install properly even by inexpert talents (like mine).

ps: read the the SuperFreakonomics passages about carseats for the over 2s, if you want reassurance that a simple booster seat is (statistically) a reasonable and defensible choice.

You can get Isofix without the leg, Harriet. :)

OP - have you seen this crash test of the kiddy seats vs a 5-point harness?

Sorry I imagine I'm about to get told that I'm unfit to be a mother, but I have to ask - Do children really need to be kept in car seats until they are 12?

Depends on height I thought? Dd1 is 11 & same height as me & doesn't have one.

By the court of MN we are ALL unfit mothers, one way or another :).

Have you checked her weight against the weight limit? She is actually safest to stay in her infant car seat as long as possible, which is until she reaches the weight limit, or until the top of her head starts to come over the top of the seat. No sooner. Age isn't an issue - my DS stayed in his first seat until he was 15 months old.

If she ahs reached the limit/is too tall, I second recommendations for the Kiddy infinity or comfort. Or rear facing of course but they are expensive and can be hard to fit.

Law is until they hit a certain height or are twelve years old, whichever is first. So a short eleven year old would still legally need one. I think most children outgrow them at 8 or so.

But when you are buying the group one seat, if you choose a group one-three one, it will say "9 months to 3 years" on the box. As a parent of a one year old I doubt you would be thinking about what age they will really use it until.

I bought a lovely both ways facing car seat which then didn't fit in the car, I sold it to my mum for her chelsea tractor and bought another for fifty quid because it was the only one that was small enough. It is still a rear and forward facing one though, I got it from mothercare.

Watch out for mothercare, I have bought a couple of bits online and they NEVER take the money and a sting you a few months later when you aren't expecting it.

Will you be moving it between cars? Our DS regularly travels in 5 different cars

We looked at which? Recommendations and went with the kiddy infinity whatsit that came top in their recommendations.

A huge bonus Is that it is very easy to switch between cars and I can carry it with one hand from nursery to my car with DS in the other while pregnant

Not sure which rearward facing seats are difficult to fit. We have a Besafe izi combi. It's pretty straightforward. DH didn't have any problems. It's a bit heavier than other carseats and it's probably not best suited to being moved between cars but many of the stage 1 car seats aren't.

I can vouch that it is perfectly possible to fit a rearfacing seat in a Ka, so would have thought it possible in pretty much any other car. As easy to fit and switch between cars as a FF one.

I thoroughly researched carseats just prior to DD being born. Decided on one of the Britax models which the info stated it would fit my car (as did my car manufacturer's website). I then went to our local car seat safety centre place where they hold virtually every sort of car seat and found the one I'd chosen didn't fit! And actually I only had a choice of 2 in the end. I'm so glad I got professional advice before buying anything (and not from some 16 year old Halford's chappie). Not sure where you are ewille but here's the website (they don't actually sell anything but just advise).

www.carseatinfo.co.uk/index.cfm?sid=19086&pid=292368&item=29819

Just for clarity, the ladies in Essex that GiveMeStrength posted a link to are absolutely fantastic, and due to their vast experience of fitting car seats may well be able to offer advice over the phone even if you can't get to them in person. But, the site that link takes you to is NOT their own site and the opinions expressed elsewhere are not necessarily those of Cathy and Linda.

ljkk - I've read the passage in SuperFreakanomics and, IIRC, they were arguing that you didn't need a car seat at all rather than that a booster cushion was the safest option. It was interesting and made me think, but I think my conclusion was that its an area that needs more research. Either way, the way the law currently stands in this country a booster cushion isn't a legal option for a 9 month old baby so its a bit irrelevant for ewille :)

BeSafe izi combi is fab - rear facing, can go forward, will fit until about 4 years old. Fits in my Ford Focus (not a huge car at all), and DH managed to install himself thanks to a video on youtube with instructions.

Try www.securatot.co.uk
Agree with whoever said you can't scrimp on this bit of kit, and to be honest who cares if they are supposedly 'happier' facing forwards - main thing is safety.

Oops hadn't realised it wasn't their own site - that was the one that came up when I googled it! Maybe this is better:

www.basildon.gov.uk/index.aspx?articleid=2745

I had two Britax (can't remember which type), Used for about 4 years each when we transitioned to boosters. Handed them down in perfect condition to my brother and sister. They are still going strong a few years later!

i remember this well.
we went with the maxi cosi priori fix, which came top of the which tests at the time, cost a bomb too £220 iirc and i have 2 of them!
dd is nearly ready for a booster and i can't decide between a high back booster or just the seat bit arrrr

heather1980 - a high back booster is by far better. It offers a lot more head and spine support and does a better job of making sure the seatbelt is correctly positioned.

Heather how about one where the back comes off, then you have the back for your main journeys but if you need to carry it somewhere you can just detach the bottom and use that.