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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Isn't it a bit icky to share razors? Or AIBU?

24 replies

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 10/04/2011 09:25

DSD has been desperate to shave her legs for a few years due to teasing (her hair is quite dark and really shows) but her mum said she wasn't allowed until she turned 13. She tried on her own and got a right bollocking because she understandably didn't do it right and cut her legs.

She's now 13 and hasn't shaved yet because she's not got any of the right stuff. She told me her mum has instructed her to share her brother's razor

Wouldn't it be better for her to have her own razor?! I don't understand why her mum is so against it still. Neither does DH - he's not bothered by leg hair and doesn't see why his DD wants to shave, but he firmly believes it should be her choice and she should be able to do it safely.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

MickyLee · 10/04/2011 09:28

Might as well share needles. YANBU gross!

Bogeyface · 10/04/2011 09:33

Might as well share needles

WTF?! Did I miss the bit in the OP where she said that one of the children had HIV or hepatitis?! WHat a stupid thing to say!

I would say that it would be good for her to have her own stuff simply because it is important to young girls to have their own supplies for everything (I have a 13 year old DD and she hates having to share my shampoo never mind anything else!), but hygiene wise I think its not a major issue if they share if both kids are clean! Not ideal obviously but can any of us honestly say we havent used our OH razors or shavers when we have none of our own?

RenniesFromHeaven · 10/04/2011 09:37

I wouldn't advise sharing a razor. It's not very hygienic. Lots of blood, skin cells, juices from spots cut open etc - skin harbours a lot of bacteria which I wouldn't hugely want shared around. So YANBU but... awkward situation for OP.

Original poster

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 10/04/2011 09:39

I've nicked one of DH's new blades before but wouldn't actually share. Stubble is different from leg hair so his razors go blunt really fast.

OP posts:

Original poster

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 10/04/2011 09:41

Her brother is sexually active if that makes any difference to the hygiene issue. I'd like to think he's careful though

OP posts:

WidowWadman · 10/04/2011 09:58

Bogeyface - the serostatus of the brother is unknown, and from an infection control point of view sharing a razor is a risk, same as sharing needles, unprotected sex etc.
It just shouldn't be encouraged, no matter whether you think that the other user is probably healthy or not.

HeidiKat · 10/04/2011 10:02

Why not buy her one of those battery operated razors that can be used in the shower and is pretty impossible to cut yourself with, that's what I had when I was a teen and first learning. Like this www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/4427067/c_1/1|category_root|Health+and+personal+care|14418350/c_2/2|14418350|Hair+removal+and+waxing|14418449/c_3/3|cat_14418449|Ladies+electric+shavers|23719081.htm

cunexttuesonline · 10/04/2011 10:03

Isn't it called a dirty shave when you share someone else's razor? Cos then you normally get a rash.

hairylights · 10/04/2011 10:04

Why don't you (or her dad) treat her to a razor, and some foam, then?

MorticiaAddams · 10/04/2011 10:05

She's better off not shaving at all. I know it's more expensive but waxing/creams are a much better option especially if she has very dark hair.

Original poster

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 10/04/2011 10:06

What does serostatus mean?

OP posts:

Original poster

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 10/04/2011 10:11

Thanks for the other suggestions. She's said she definitely wants to shave rather than wax/use creams, but I'll look into the electric idea.

I am so tempted just to buy her some stuff and show her how to use it. But that would get DSD into trouble with her mum :(

DH is going to ask if his ex minds us buying her a set - due to DH's job we get this stuff cheaper anyway.

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 10/04/2011 10:20

OP can you or her father not just buy her what she needs as she now does have permission from her mother.

The chance of spreading any form of infection is miniscule. But it may cause a rash, she needs to find a razor that suits her skin and hair type. Very few women can pick up any razor and shave comfortably with it. On that basis, she should have her own.

LaWeasel · 10/04/2011 10:24

Why would it get her in trouble? Her mother said she could when she was 13. She's 13.

Just buy her the kit and show her how to do it, if mum rings up to yell say "oh, she wnated to shave before we went swimming but didn't seem sure how to do it so I thought I'd save you a job and explain." If she's going to yell at anyone it will be you - but better that than leaving her being teased for ever more.

Bogeyface · 10/04/2011 10:25

Can she have this stuff and leave it at your house? How often does she come to yours? That way her mother need never know, unless she checks her dd's legs I s'pose!

Leverkusen · 10/04/2011 10:28

Even if it's not icky, she'll make it blunt and her brother will not be happy! I remember I used to steal my dad's razor sometimes when I was a teen, could hear his cries of pain in the morning. Ooops!

Original poster

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 10/04/2011 10:47

Her mum is just easily angered and is a bit controlling tbh. Everything has to be HER choice. So she is allowed to shave but not allowed her own stuff, and she won't show her how to do it but had a go at her for doing it wrong.

I wouldn't mind her having a go at me or DH but it would definitely be DSD who got the brunt of it for 'going behind her back' - so DH will offer to buy them. We are all very short of money ATM but as we get discount on it, it makes more sense for us to buy them.

OP posts:

JaneS · 10/04/2011 13:02

Oh, no, nasty. Sharing someone else's blood and dead skin cells, not nice.

Agree with Lever, too. I'm a dark-haired woman like your DSD and after I've shaved my legs, the razor is thoroughly blunt. It'd be very bad for him to use it on his face after that, he'll hurt himself.

I feel for your DSD by the way - my mum was like this with me and didn't 'let' me shave. Ironically now I don't very much mind, but at 13 girls can be very cruel and she might feel very conspicuous, poor mite.

Are you familiar with the little hair-removal pads you can buy in M&S? They look a bit like fine sandpaper (very odd, I know), and you rub them dry against your legs. Doesn't hurt, and works well though it takes a while. Might that be a solution her mum wouldn't perhaps notice so much, and wouldn't risk your DSD cutting her legs again (which I guess is what the mum is worried about)?

unsurevalentine · 10/04/2011 13:07

Should never ever share razors or toothbrushes or anything else which may have blood on it. Risk passing on blood born viruses (and even people who aren't sexually active may be carrying them and not be aware).

blackeyedsusan · 10/04/2011 13:11

her mother has given her impied permission to shave, (use brothers razor) (poor brother) not unreasonable to get her something to help. she could keep the electric one at dads if she thinks her mum wil get cross and take some razors home with her.

Katy1368 · 10/04/2011 16:12

Oh no don't do this - we treat razors as sharps in hospital just like needles. Sharing a razor can pass on HIV and Hep B/C. Hep C in fact is even more easy to pass on in this way than HIV and believeme is a really nasty and much underpublicised disease. It is easily passed on in utero if mum has it so even young kids can have it and not know.

TheVisitor · 10/04/2011 16:18

Poor kid. I've just bought my 12 year old DD some Veet cream to use. Nowt wrong with buying her some and her doing it at your house.

Hatesponge · 10/04/2011 16:22

I think an electric razor - though more expensive - would be safer at that age. I know that's what I used to use as a teen.

Honeybee79 · 10/04/2011 16:46

I think it's important for her to have her own razor if she wants to shave. One of those nice Venus ones if that's what she wants. It's a personal issue and she should get her own kit and not have to share with someone else.

I'm not qualified to comment on the hygiene issue BUT I used to shave my legs with DH's razor until he bollocked me for blunting it and forced me to buy my own but, hey, I share bodily fluids with him anyway.

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