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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really dislike being a Mummy...

31 replies

JingleMum · 09/04/2011 23:47

today i really don't like being a mummy, i feel like i'm at my wits end. i love my DD more than life, but i've had moments of disliking her today Blush

i had a horrendous birth and terrible PND for the first few months of her life, thankfully i'm well over it now and have really loved being a mum since i got over it, but since she's turned 18 months old (last month) i feel so out of control. Sad i'm quite strict, i'm very fond of routine, but we also have loads of fun together. for whatever reason though, lately, she is constantly whingeing, or scream "no, no mummy" or lashing out at me. she screams like a brat for no reason! if i try to make her say please when she asks for something she responds by screaming "No" and then throwing the mother of all tantrums. all of a sudden she has gone from being a happy, content baby, to a screaming, miserable brat.

AIBU to honestly say it's got me feeling really down? as i said i'm quite strict, i don't allow her to behave like this without telling her off, but am i best just ignoring her? please tell me it gets easier.... Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
JingleMum · 10/04/2011 10:18

noblegiraffe yeah, maybe i should concentrate more on the language for now, but i will still ask for a "please" and i'm sure eventually it will stick!

hairfullofsnakes i asked my mum to buy me toddler taming for christmas, how she laughed... "my grandaughter is as good as gold, why do you want that?" "you're crazy, you don't know you're born with her, she's a little angel" fast forward 4 months later.... i must have known it was coming. i completeley forgot i had it, so thanks for the reminder, i'm going to dig it out now.

ballstoit ignore and distract... whenever i've tried this it does actually work, i just didn't know if it was the "right" thing to do. she's only 18 months old so i'm sure for the time being it's probably my best bet.

janjos JackyJax thanks alot, it's great to know i'm not alone and that it does actually get better! i'll be taking all this advice on board.

thank you everyone for your posts so far, it's all great advice and techniques that i'll be trying. it's great to know others are/have gone through this.

OP posts:
Original poster
JingleMum · 10/04/2011 10:22

NestaFiesta thank you, it's good to know i'm hopefully on the right track. that's what i'm afraid of, raising a child like your friend's DD, it terrifies me! she sounds like a nightmare Blush

whitevanwoman only another 23.5 years to go then Shock Grin

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 10/04/2011 23:21

BTW, with my older children, we often signed for "please" which made it a bit more fun. (They did a bit of baby signing at nursery). I still sometimes sign to my six year old if she forgets to say it as a reminder. Seems a bit less naggy.

shakey1500 · 10/04/2011 23:32

Can certainly reiterate the "pick your battles" advice. When ds was the the same age (actually I can't remember!) he refused, flat out to brushing his teeth. We were due to go to playgroup and I said he couldn't go until they were brushed. I too, favoured consistent discipline as it were. I thought it would last around 20 mins or so but he dug his heels in, and so do I. I "thought" that because I had given an ultimatum that I simply had to see it through. It took over 2 hours. Ridiculous. We missed playgroup, he was sad, I was sad. It was so not worth it. I learnt a valuable lesson that day.

Now, I'm more relaxed. Not to say discipline isn't there of course but I will now think "ok, in the big scheme of things, will it really matter if I say yes/no etc etc" But if he wants odd socks on then so be it, no great long term harm done.

It DOES get easier, especially when you can reason with them better. And I totally understand the "not wanting to fuck up" aspect.

luvviemum · 22/04/2011 19:21

My DS is 20 months and I couldn't agree more with all the posts that it's a tough age. Really full on and so exhausting but I keep reminding myself that it is just a stage and it will soon pass. My DD is four now and so so much easier.
Jinglemum, I bet your little one is so cute - very ironic that when they are at their absolute cutest, they are also at their absolute hardest to deal with. Sounds to me like you're doing a great job.

cherrypez · 22/04/2011 19:47

I'm on toddler number 7, and I truly believe that communication, or lack of, is the route to most bad toddler behaviour. What I mean is that as a toddler learns to talk more and more, the whinging and stropping diminishes. Thats just my opinion of course, but my baby has become so much easier since she learned to ask for a drink, cuddle or banana!

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