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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have gone mad at this bloke

9 replies

slugz · 09/04/2011 07:15

I'm a delivery driver out of a depot where there is only 1 male driver, the rest are female. I pick up my parcels at 9.30 in the morning, which is the last collection time and share the slot with this bloke.
There was a new lady there yesterday, and of course because she was new she took longer to sort out and load, so she was still there when we got there. She had also brought her friend with her. It was very busy as well so she was struggling to fit all the parcels in her vehicle.
So the bloke came over and asked me who they were, I said I didn't know, just new cover drivers I assumed. As they drove off he made a comment about the car's suspension, I laughed and agreed that it was low at the back (due to the parcels). He then said 'yeah, right couple of monsters, weren't they?' I called him an arsehole.
He said that he doesn't like women who don't look after their appearance.

Now to paint a picture, I'm about a stone overweight, and very hippified. I don't wear make-up, dress casually, and my husband cuts my hair. These 2 ladies were heavier than me (maybe 13-14 stone each), a little older, but certainly better turned out, nicely styled hair, well-dressed. So from his previous comments he could only have been referring to their weight.

Anyway, I totally saw red, at his opinion that it's ok to make negative comments about the physical appearance of people he doesn't know. I tried to tell him this. But all he kept saying was 'awww, slugz, but I think you're lovely' which just made me madder and madder. I certainly didn't want him to think I was lovely. So called him lots of bad names, and then refused to speak to him again.

I came home last night and related the tale to dh, who just said 'why would you care? Loads of people have rubbish opinions', he thinks I totally overreacted, did I?

OP posts:
thorahird · 09/04/2011 07:26

Is he a lean mean love machineSmileim guessing not,ive worked with lots of men in motorparts world and barwork and they seem to think its ok to berate women who dont live up to the unreasonable standards that the media has shoved down our throats whilst said men themseves not resembling the johnny depps of this world,so what if you if you lost it a bit im sure he,ll cope (unfortunatly he sounds like the type of bloke who,ll put it down to you being "on the blob" )but hey ho you cant change certain mindsets

slugz · 09/04/2011 07:31

I know he'll cope (don't want him to though), I can't figure out why I'm still so angry about it though. Loads of people say this sort of crap, but this time I've got really het up. Maybe because I have to alone with him 6 days a week (for half an hour).
He really creeped me out with the 'you're lovely' weedling too.

OP posts:
Flowerpotmummy · 09/04/2011 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skinit · 09/04/2011 09:15

Yanbu at all and you were totally right to put him in his place. It amazes me how many women let men make these kind of comments about other women in the workplace.

I used to work in a Zoo and this middle aged man would call this young girl "Big Bird" which I could see she hated....she was tall and big boned...athlectic.....and very self consious. Nobody ever stood up for her and she was only about 19. I told him "If I ever hear you say that again I'll make a complaint against you"

He was Shock there is to much crappy sexist behaviour like this because people don't do anything.

Hpefully he will think twice before saying this kind of thing again.

rainbowinthesky · 09/04/2011 09:19

Yanbu at all. Good for you for saying what you did!

TastesLikePanda · 09/04/2011 10:02

YANBU at all. Good for you for speaking up and letting him know that it's not ok to say this kind of thing to you.

Unfortunately my dh can be a bit of a twat if someone has a big nose or whatever - he just cannot help himself to comment on it and it drives me bloody mental.
He wouldn't say anything to them though - he's not that much of a nobber but the very fact that he feels he can pass some kind of comment on it really winds me up. He's no oil painting - unless it's a an oil painting of a hobbit...

NunOnTheRun · 09/04/2011 12:24

YANBU.
Having been on the receiving end of some unpleasant (deliberately loud) 'observations' myself, I wish that there were more decent, supportive folk around such as the OP.

GabbyLoggon · 09/04/2011 13:13

yes, right to answer back, Slugz

Deliainthemaking · 09/04/2011 14:20

You were right to pull him up to many people have a sense of entitlement towards other peoples looks

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