to feel gutted at the lack of attention from my sister and her family for my ds

[tevion]

Ds is now ten and I have become increasingly annoyed with my older sister and her grown up children the much older cousins of ds.
Of course they have all their own children now and my sister and all her family throw lots of attention on these children who are now integrated into our family.
My sister goes on holiday brings all the children gifts back my ds gets nothing its the same with ds's older cousins they go out to the zoo etc ds never gets asked along anywhere or myself.
I realise that these children are my sisters grandchildren and I do not blame her for lavishing attnetion on them at all but I am talking of a complete lack of any thought for ds at all.
Ds has picked up on this on the rare occasions we have been out together when the younger ones are having stuff bought for them and ds gets zilch my mom who has been along at the time has bought for him so he hasnt felt left out.
My mom has mentioned to them all about this and they have acknowledged her thoughts but it still goes on.
The other kids get loads spent on them at christmas etc but ds is lucky to get a tenner spent on him and its his birthday as well a special time for him.
My sisters house is plastered with pictures of the grandchildren but none of my ds.
I suspect I will get a slating on here for this but I just can,t help feeling like this at all and am getting increasingly annoyed.

THen you need to explain to DS the difference between nephews and granchildren. There really is no need for jealousy once you've explained it.

but do you treat them the same?

Well I do share a closer tie with the one who comes round because I see more of her

But do you treat them the same?????

I love my neice and nephew but I don;t treat them the same as my own DD. Saying that I would also be sensitive and not shower my children with gifts in front of them (unless its birthdays, etc)

yes I do treat them the same

Correct me if I'm wrong but is the issue not actually that your son doesnt have any siblings or cousins of his own age so he (and you) are jealous of the relationships that they have? Either get on with making him a sibling or teach him why there is the difference and stop having unreasonable expectations of your sister.

Really? OK.

As I said before, maybe have a word with your sister about being a bit more diplomatic, but def have a chat with your son. YA still BU

OP I agree with you. I don't think it is unreasonable for all children of a certain age to be treated in the same way at least when they are all together.

I can understand being a bit upset that he's lthe only child not being bought something on a day out, and if he's the only nephew and they don't have concerns about money it would upset me if my sister was only buying a token present for Christmas - not so much about the money but that there was no thought for him

but ultimately it's just one of these things that you can't really do anything about - bringing it up would just make you seem petty

it is a shame though