to expect my 18yo DS to pay for his own bike wheel?

[Chisbird]

Hi everyone, first time posting.

My DS is in 6th form and has a part time job. He txt me from work this evening to ask me to collect him as someone had stolen his front wheel. I duly collected him and got the full story. Front wheel on bike is a quick release mechanism, and was not locked to either the bike or to the bike shed at work. My view is that I have spent a lot of money over the years on bikes, servicing, replacing gears, new wheels etc etc, and now it is his responsibility. Two reasons: 1 - He is earning, and 2 - Simple mindedness in not securing the wheel to the bike. He holds the view that the bank of mum is bottomless and as his bike is his only mode of transport, (as he has failed his driving test 3 times), I should support him financially over this.

I must admit I am torn as part of me feels that as he is still at school, I should be paying for basics. Does this count as a basic?

AIBU?

YANBU. He should pay for it.

If he is stuck, possibly make him a loan which HAS to be paid back in instalments (ie, if he misses a payment you take the wheel back!) otherwise YANBU. Good life lesson.

Depends if you gave him fair warning last time he lost something carelessly and it cost you? Did you tell him his bike was his responsibility? Presumably you've payed for all the driving lessons and tests too. Definitely make him sweat over a replacement wheel. YANBU

Misread thread title. Thought it was 18 month old! Now, that would be fun...

Thanks for comments, feel smug justified now

YANBU, DP has bike with quick release tires so always locks both up securely. His mistake and laziness should not be costing you at 18 with a job. I'm 24, so not an old 'fuddy duddy' and think he is being immature to expect you to help him out.

If I could afford it I would

50/50 as a compromise maybe, to ease him into it.

..... especially if it's his mode of transport and he can't afford to replace it quickly, imagine the cost in fuel and time to you to drive him around.

He was careless and needs to pay for it. Especially now he is earning, he needs to learn that you don't just get jobs to pay for beer, it's got to cover life expenditures too.

It was his own fault in leaving it unsecured, he is responsible for replacing the wheel. If it was secured and they cut the lock or something, I would agree with the 50/50.

It is in his best interest in this situation. Usually hard learned lessons are not forgotten.

Who would be paying for his car insurance if he DID have a driving license, OP? How would any other car costs for him be funded?

I'm minded to say 50-50, too. At the very least loan him the dosh.
He needs a small cable lock just for the front wheel, I suggest.

Mind, I had 3 complete bikes stolen when I was age 19-22, and I don't recall my parents paying for any replacements, either.

I'd do 50/50. Ds pays half if he loses anything vital and he's 12! He's just lost his phone, glasses and school shoes! Not been a good month. I'm only paying half of a basic phone - not half of whatever fancy one he might want. He gets a monthly allowance to cover school dinners, phone top ups and pocket money. He had been saving for a game he wanted. Oh well. Should be more careful. Op yanbu.