to think that 2 hours is a long time to have a 2 year old strapped into a buggy?

[feministmama]

Of course it's none of my business, and I keep telling myself that maybe there's a good reason for it, but I hate seeing this poor little boy sitting in his pushchair just sat outside, fully awake, not doing anything, while everyone else is allowed to play.

He lives right by us, where I can see from my window, and when we walked home from school he was in his buggy, just sitting there, outside, while a couple of adults chatted and smoked, and his cousins/sister/whoever played near him. He was there for more than 2 hours, just sitting, no toys, didn't really speak to anyone, with just his drink. But not just that - he is ALWAYS in his buggy when I see others playing or sit outside. Why?? Am desperately trying to tell myself that there must be a reason for it... could he be disabled? Ill for the last 3 weeks??? It makes me unhappy just looking at him.

I agree with you but what on earth can you do about it?

ooh, I don't know. I was thinking of frowning a bit more often?

I think it's awful if there is no genuine reason. I couldn't even get my 2 year old to use a buggy anymore, let alone sit in one for 2 hours!

My first thought was maybe he's physically unable to get out/play with toys? Have you ever seen him moving about under his own steam? Seems unusual to say the least.

Seems very odd, but I would imagine most 2 year olds would fight the idea so surely there has to be some sort of reason? I hope so anyway!

DS is 17 months and I struggle to get him in his pram let alone stay there for any length of time!

I've Bern sitting outside with ds 14mth for the past hour, him in his pushchair. I've sat next to him chatting while we've watched the other kids on bikes, we've read and had an ice cream.he loved it! But 2hours doing nothing? I find it wierd his mother can even get him to sot that long. Unless he's just used to not getting any attention....... :(

Spellings lol!

I have known a few children kept like this routinely. I don't like it either.
I think that the parents view it as protecting the child from dirt/upsetting themselves/etc. Sort of like a mobile playpen.

yes. I'm swinging between thinking: there must be a reason for it, and he seems quite calm about it, and thinking, maybe he's been trained not to make a fuss because it doesn't do any good? Horrible thought. But it's rubbish - I don't want to be neighbourhood patrol, looking out for neglected children!! Except now I can't help myself, I'm always checking to see whether he's in his buggy. I've never noticed him out of the buggy except at lunch time today, when he was outside in a little highchair eating a picnic. He looked a lot happier then.

He must be unwell or disabled in some way.

I have never met a 2yr old who would be still for that length of time unless they were really poorly or fast asleep.

...or because they are used to it. Because they have never been allowed out when others are in the playground & are so discouraged from playing/getting dirty that they are inhibited about it. That was the case, from what I could tell, with the 2-ish child I knew who was never let out.

Then suddenly, maybe just before 3yo, the child would be out ALL the time, maybe on a wriststrap, not allowed to use the buggy at all any more. From one extreme to the other.

Have you ever chatted to the mum? Try chatting to her and say something like 'god I could never get my toddler in the buggy at that age' or something like that?

My neighbour has a son who I have never seen out of his buggy. He is 4 but tiny - was born very prematurely and has a whole host of problems - I think he can walk but he is very fragile and prone to many infections. Maybe the boy you see has lots of problems too?

Poor lad. You won't really ever know why though unless you ask.

I felt really sorry for the boy (7) next door today. I have to admit we find him quite annoying as he's always staring in our window. We were all playing outside and his dad got home. The boy went running up saying "daddy daddy daddy give me a hug" and his dad just looked at him and walked straight into his house.

FFS :(

He could well have a disability, especially if you have never seen him walk. I would take the approach of assuming there's a genuine reason rather than neglect (unless of course there are other things that are cause for concern). The SN board is full of parents who get dirty looks because their child with SN is in a pushchair.

Ds1 at that age would have happily spent an entire day in his pushchair without being strapped in. He had no particular interest in playing with toys independently either. Yet to look at him he seemed exactly like any other child. He has autism.

If they live nearby then perhaps you could get to know the family better if they are interested?

My little boy is 2 and has severe developmental delay. He can't walk or stand. Our neighbours have only ever seen him in his pram or being carried. I often sit outside with him because he loves watching the other kids play - so it could be something like this. I'm wondering now what they think :(

But I agree it's not really fair to leave him for 2 hours with no stimulation!

Xpost with coppertop - I also get a lot of 'you should let him walk' when he's strapped to my back!

Oh dear. I feel terrible now - all you parents with genuine reasons for having children in buggies . I am making assumptions. I have chatted to them, because they have children the same age as mine who play together a bit (they're new to our area). I suppose all I've seen is a mum who is quite critical of her older child (only 3) and a bit shouty. But that's terrible too - I've definitely been critical and shouty a lot in my time.

I would like to get to know them better, they live very close, and we're all outside a lot at the moment because of the weather.

But what's the best thing to say? I wondered about saying "isn't he good, sitting there quietly for such a long time", but I don't want to make it sound like I'm praising them, if they are just leaving him there for no reason.

Besides which, I just need to stop thinking about it. If he has got a disability, that's none of my business, and if he hasn't, their treatment of him is probably none of my business either.... or at least I wouldn't be able to achieve anything with a brief chat, I don't think. It just makes me so sad, thinking of him sat there with no attention being paid to him. :(

Why not just chat to her about the weather or something about the local area - get to know her - I would leave any questions about the child in the buggy until you know her a bit

i was about to rant and say yabu and etc, as my dd is 2yr 4mnths and loves being in the buggy, but when we are out shopping or walking somewhere, sometimes over 2hrs, but we talk, she has toys and peppa, drinks and snacks etc.

anyway.

yanbu, poor child, this sounds so sad, maybe a friendly hello to the mum once in a while and strike up conversation and say hello to the lo while your there..?

I would agree with Janx - I've had so many well meaning mums and toddler group helpers make a beeline for me and I can see them coming a mile off!! They usually start with - 'he's a big boy isn't he? He must keep you on the go?' Which to me is their way of finding out what age he is and to confirm that he should actually be mobile! (I've stopped going!)

So yes, make friends first and let her tell you.