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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why is there a collective MN groan when facebook is mentioned?

24 replies

AgentZigzag · 08/04/2011 14:12

I'm only an occasional user and have about thirty people I know on it, I pop in an have a nosy then close it down.

It doesn't bother me if I see someone I know killing their boredom playing pointless games, or if they're feeling a bit lonely and posting some random shit on their status, I just think well I'm glad I've found MN to get any whinging I have to a wider audience

I know it can cause problems, SIL did three status updates about her mum being in hospital but didn't think to tell DH (who wasn't happy about her thinking fb strangers should know before he did), but unless you're going to cut yourself off completely from the rest of the human race, any communication with anyone however you do it has the potential to cause shit.

It does seem to be looked down on by a lot of MN posters, is it because you're all so old and not in with the kids?

A bit like when mobile phones first took off (and computers/videos etc) and the olds predicted the end of the world as we know it, but it's turned out not to change for the better or worse, it's just different.

People are still the same, nice to each other one day shitty the next, nothing to do with facebook or phones, but just people being people.

OP posts:

Tee2072 · 08/04/2011 14:22

It's because, even though this site is on the internet, I find that about 75% of MN are luddites and are very vocal and proud of it.

I find it very sad, actually, that they are so unwilling to adapt to new technology and changes.

My grandmother, who was very nearly 99 when she died, said the only way to get to her age is to adapt and embrace change.

UnquietDad · 08/04/2011 14:26

There seems to be some kind of collective paranoia that DHs will go on there, find their school sweethearts and arrange a fling. Based on little evidence. One might suggest that, if they are inclined to do that, they'll do it with or without Facebook.

TobyLerone · 08/04/2011 14:27

I was going to say what UnquietDad said

Damn these predatory women...

Pagwatch · 08/04/2011 14:27

Actually I think it is because, whilst facebook is a fantastic concept and a great method of social communication, posts on mn about facebook tend to be

' hi can you help me if I am being unreasonable. My bestfriend just posted that my tits are small and my mum is a minger and I think that is out of order. I posted back that she is a trout and uninvited her to my wedding but she said she wasn't coming anyway because the bridesmaid dresses are shit. Should I block her, lol"

BitOfFun · 08/04/2011 14:31

I use it at about the same level as you do, OP- ie Not Much Really.

I don't think that the sneering about facebook is anything to do with the technology- more the instant moronification of people's communication style which seems to take place on it, and the way it appears to substitute for real life interaction and even personal experience: frequently people are so busy filming/photographing events for facebook, that they don't even really live the moment they are actually there.

altinkum · 08/04/2011 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PelvicFloorsOfSteel · 08/04/2011 14:33

I love fb. Use it mainly to share photos with friends and relatives who have settled in other countries but I love the way their status updates give little snippets of news which they wouldn't necessarily think to include in an e-mail.

I can never understand people who say fb is boring and full of rubbish as this is the equivalent of saying all your friends are boring and rubbish, surely you'd find them as uninteresting in rl as you do on the internet?

I am interested in the things my friends have to say, love seeing their pictures and hope they feel the same about me.

Original poster

AgentZigzag · 08/04/2011 14:35

A bit like all the parents videoing the school play instead of enjoying it BOF?

I'd prefer to have this substitution for RL communication, saves me having to actually talk to them

But for a lot of people they either don't particularly like the people they know on fb and it keeps them at arms length but not cut off, or they wouldn't talk to them if they didn't have it.

OP posts:

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 14:35

UQD - i'm safe there, then! DH has only ever had one girlfriend before, and he hates her now.

Original poster

AgentZigzag · 08/04/2011 14:37

And you don't need fb to have all those problems altinkum (except at the bullying)

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/04/2011 14:38

pag, that's brilliant.
We don't use it because, having tried it for a couple of weeks, I decided that my freinds were pretty odd if they felt I was interested in the absolute minutiae of their lives.
DH is an IT teacher and has banned it too.

worraliberty · 08/04/2011 14:42

What Pagwatch said

Facebook doesn't cause problems...people do.

Original poster

AgentZigzag · 08/04/2011 14:45

It is kreecher. I need to know now whether her mum really was a minger and did the friend go to the wedding in the end?

Can't have only half the story.

OP posts:

Original poster

AgentZigzag · 08/04/2011 14:47

'Facebook doesn't cause problems...people do'

I could have put that as my OP and left it without the waffle.

Tsk.

OP posts:

Sarsaparilllla · 08/04/2011 14:48

I don't see why people have such a thing about facebook, people who say it causes problems don't seem to see that it's not facebook that causes issues, it's the people, who'd surely be likely to cause issues anyway? :o

kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/04/2011 14:48

I should add, that DH hasn't actually banned it that sounds so draconian, he has suggested, based on his experiences with bullying children, that we don't use it.

Sarsaparilllla · 08/04/2011 14:49

oops, started posting that ages ago and only just pressed post, should've checked what other posts had been made, :o

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 08/04/2011 14:51

Only people who are idiots in RL are idiots on FB. Only people who would cheat in RL cheat through FB. Only people who would merrily tell everyone except their current girlfriend they are newly single free to shag around would change their relationship status to single in order to inform their GF on FB. Only people who would uninvite you to a wedding for stupid reasons in RL will do it on FB. Only people who are gossips/bitch in RL are gossips/bitchy on FB. The only difference is, the whole world (depending on privicy settings) gets to see/hear about it.
Solution: don't have idiots a friends, either in RL or on FB.

(Not much you can do about idiot family members though)

JoBettany · 08/04/2011 15:04

I have a problem with it. I like to be private and keep my family private. I hate that you can't go anywhere now without people constantly snapping photographs and then posting the photos on FB.

I really don't want to know anyone, including my close friends that well.

If you are unfortunate enough to have read anything on FB it appears to turn even the most intelligent of users into adolescents who really think people might be interested in what they have had to eat that day and what they think of some equally vacuous celeb. People's daily musings about life are not usually that interesting, especially when coupled with txt spk and the inevitable and omnipresent lol.

It causes massive problems with children who are far too young to be on it and who's parents don't have the backbone to refuse them access. Cyber bullying is a threat that I did not have to face as a teenager and I cannot imagine the pressure, embarrassment, fear and stress it can cause when misused. Although unfortunately as a teacher I have witnessed it.

It is also another way in which predatory people can groom the more vulnerable members of society.

And, quite frankly, I prefer to read a good book lol.

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 08/04/2011 15:19

JoBettany a quick search shows me that you recently commented on a sleb crush, and if I could draw your attention to the threads below...

Food

Sleb gossip

LOL

It seems that lots of people on here ARE interested in chatting about mundane things, just want to be thought of in RL as far too highbrow for that sort of twaddle

I prefer to read a trashy magazine.

Gwendolinemarylacey · 08/04/2011 15:25

Because people here fail to realise that whinging and moaning about the MIL or telling us about pfb's latest achievement is exactly the same thing whether they do in on MN or FB. It tickles me that some mnetters have this anti FB snobbery thing going on but seem to think that baring their soul on MN is different! If you've got a bit of common sense then FB is a great tool.

mrsoliverramsay · 08/04/2011 15:31

I like FB. It keeps me in touch with my old friends and family up in Scotland but since finding out how twitter works, I am not on it as much. I think I may be a social network junkie actually

Original poster

AgentZigzag · 08/04/2011 19:03

JoBettany, bullying and grooming children although made 'easier' in a way online, also gives tangible evidence so they can't be swept under the carpet.

People like that are always going to find a way in whatever type of society they live in.

I like books too, the internet for me is like lazy book reading that keeps me awake instead of making me drop off

OP posts:

PelvicFloorsOfSteel · 08/04/2011 20:24

Not a single one of my friends uses txt spk or lol on fb, again this is a problem with your friends not fb itself.

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