Stashed vodka bottles - should I tell my DP?

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Ok cut a long story short, my MIL has been staying for the last 3 nites as FIL in hospital down the road from us. MIL background - we've always got on well, quite hands on with the kids altho lives quite far from us. She's always liked a drink, I've seen her sloshed on several occasions, can be argumentative, has had a pop at me before when pissed.

First nite she came back from the hosp, had clearly had a drink on the way home as smelt of alcohol. Fair enough I thought, stressful day, caught in traffic etc (her), had bought a bottle of wine with her which we shared, me MIL and DP.

Second nite she came back, seemed ok, didnt smell of booze. Disappeared to her room then came to help me bath DP at which point I smelt booze on her breath. Odd i thought as although she had bought a bottle of wine home with her it at this point was unopenned. She later openned and drank some/most of it. Later when I went to her room to get something I 'accidentally' noticed a bottle of sainsbury's vodka almost empty, stashed in her bag.

Third nite, the same again and this time I actively went looking for the vodka (hoping that this was a one off i spose) and found the bottle had been replaced - this time a cheap russian brand from a local offie. Not much drunk but I secretly monitored the level over the course of the evening and it went down a few inchs. In the meantime we had a bbq and she drunk some wine, I didnt join her, didnt really feel like it.

Now I dont know what to do. Of course i feel bad for looking in her bag but kind of feel that if she is going to look after my kids now and then i'd like to know if she has a problem - well tbh I always knew she had a 'problem' (social wine drinking something I myself enjoy) but stashing alcohol and taking sneaky swigs kind of takes it to another level in my eyes. I havent told DP yet as thought he may fly off the handle and be angry with his mum who then would be angry with me etc and none of us needed that with FIL not well. I spose I need to tell him, although I am hoping this is just a one off - stressful situation with FIL etc.

More a WWYD I spose than an AIBU but all advice gratefully recieved.

is she drinking and driving?

I was going to say don't "do" anything and mind your own etc but if she's going to look after your kids, and its no longer okay in your mind, then I guess you do need to tell your husband.

I dont think beyond telling him, and that you are not happy about it and that you need to not use her as "childcare" anymore, there's not much else you can do.

From the sounds of it your MIL is an alcoholic.

You need to tell your DP that she is never to be left alone / unsupervised with your children.

Sorry.

My Mum used to hide her brandy bottle in her knicker drawer.

You can't help her unless she decides she needs help, so your DH getting angry at her isn't a good idea. She has an illness and needs to be supported. All you can do is be aware that she's probably never completely sober and don't allow her to put herself or anyone else at risk. I think you need to tell your DP, but suggest he calls someone like Al Anon (if you're in the UK) for some advice - they support families affected by alcoholism and have been very helpful to me in the past.

do you not get on with her well enough to talk to her about it? I think thats what I would do first.

Well she didnt drink and drive this time, I'm not sure if she usually does this at home - or it was just the stress of the current situation that has driven her to this. TBH it all seemed a bit more pre-meditated and organised in a secretive style.
Although she is no longer part of our regular childcare routine as she has moved away, I was looking forward to the kids staying with her in the future for weekends etc - perhaps not such a good idea now.

This behaviour will not be something out of character which she's just been driven to by recent stress. You can be fairly certain that is is part of her daily routine.

Thanks pjmama. Useful to have Al Anon in mind for support/advice.

dollyshouse - I did consider talking about it to her, but wondered maybe it would be better coming fom DP who is closer to her than I am. Also I felt that she had a lot going on on this recent visit with FIL in hosp etc, the timing didnt seem ideal.

My mum used to leave me with my alcoholic grandma every friday overnight, not something Id recommend, but I liked going and enjoyed the time we spent together.

she was a good granny though.