Adults offering alcohol to my 11 year old

[LindaEvens]

My daughter is 11.

A few weeks ago while at a neighbour she pulled out a orange flavoured alcoholic drink she brought home from Greece poured me a glass, herself and one for my daughter she was surprised when I objected.

last week we went on holiday with some friends. We were staying in a self catering apartments and one day decided to make dinner at home. Our friends offered my daughter alcohol, I said no. I was shocked how much their daughters aged 13 and 15 drank.

Bringing it up with other parents most seem it is no big deal.

curious at what age do parents allow drinking

Well, Linda, i think only you, as the parent(s) can decide that. Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of her trying drinks at all, or was it the other adults doing it so casually that made you upset?

I think I am surprised I am having to deal with this at such an age, I was not expecting to do so for a while yet.

I was shocked to see my friends daughters drinking and their parents not saying anything

I am also surprised how casual everyone is,

I don't think we mean to seem casual about it, but there certainly are a range of attitudes to this. I'd be shocked at, as you said, a 13 and 15 year old drinking much, even with their parents. Children all vary in their maturity as well, of course. It's just my opinion, but I think your daughter will start to come across friends with alcohol in a few years, so even if you don't want her to drink, it might be an idea to talk to her in a coupld of years about why you feel that's not appropriate. I understan 15/ 16 year olds are not as happy to listen to their mothers' opinions....!

A 16 or 17 year old can have beer, wine or cider with a meal on licensed premises if it's been bought by an adult. Not 14 or 15 and not spiriits.

You don't encourage a responsible attitude to alcohol by giving it to an 11 year old.

I wasn't allowed to drink alcohol by my mother at all before the age of 18 but still snuck out as a teenager to drink with my friends, by the time I was 18 I wasn't that interested in drinking every weekend and neither were a few people I knew too that hadn't been allowed to drink before 18 by their parents, I also knew a lot who drank every night and most nights during the week too, some had and some hadn't been allowed the odd glass etc at home before 18 so in my opinion I don't think it makes such an impact on your drinking habits, but I wouldn't allow my son to drink before the age of 18, apart from maybe the odd glass of wine/beer/etc in the house once he's 16/17 (depending on how mature he was!) and I definitely wouldn't give another persons 11yr old child alcohol with or without the parents permission and am shocked that she didn't have the decency to ask you first in private.

We aren't talking about massive amounts though, certainly not enough to get drunk or do damage!

I don't know if this has already been said but I think the law was changed a few years ago, you're not allowed to give alcohol to under 13s now, it's gone up from 5. I'm almost positive I remember reading/hearing about it somewhere.

Your child, your call on alcohol.

YANBU.

i would never offer anyones elses child an alcoholic drink, unless i had checked with the parents first. My eldest is almost 13 and i allow him 1 bottle of smirnoff ice on special occassions ie xmas with there meal, special birthdays, i dont allow it generally as a rule and its low alcohol content..i would never allow sprits and high alcohlol drinks. Im trying to teach him to drink sensibly and enjoy the taste..not the getting drunk. Drink can be enjoyed but you have to be sensible. In france they have wine with meals..so im using a similar programme just not with every meal as he is only coming up 13. But as i say..should never be offered to other children, ie friends children or my childrens friends, unless spoken to the parents and they had agreed.

i think 5 is ridilious..no way would i allow my 5yo to drink alcohol. I think 1 or 2 on special occasions say at 12/13 is acceptable..but they must be supervised and they certainly shouldnt be drinking spirits or cocktails. I think the best way to teach kids about drink is to lead by example..if you drink sensibly...your children are likely to.

Oh ok then, I did say I only think :o

5 is bloody ridiculous though.

My Mum likes to relate how, at my sister's Christening, she was passed from relative to relative and made a grab at their champagne. Chuckling at how cute she was, most gave her a sip and by the time she came back to my Mum she had hiccups

I would never offer a child a drink without asking the parents first. OTOH I agree with those who say a relaxed attitude to alcohol kept them from excess as teenagers - I was allowed one sherry glass of wine at Christmas from seven until fourteen, plus sips of drink occasionally, and glasses of wine and beer with meals from then on. I was also allowed to help myself (and pour my parents drinks) from the spirits cupboard. Consequently I've never seen the appeal of getting comatose-drunk... they taught me to drink for the taste.