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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suggest to my SIL she is being a bit (really a lot) OTT

10 replies

lesley33 · 07/04/2011 08:49

My SIL has a 13 year old boy. Last week she found out that another boy in his class had emailed him a photo of a naked woman. She monitors his laptop uise very closely. Apparently the photo is just that - a naked woman in a "sexy" pose.

My SIL went bananas,tore into my nephew and banned him from ever speaking to this boy again.

When she told me this (when I was visiting) I tried to suggest to her that this is fairly normal adolescence behaviour and that she was over reacting. AIBU to do this?

For the record, I don't like porn, but I really think my SIL totally over reacted. If she had had a discussion with him about porn and about some of the reasons she didn't like it fair enough. But my nephew IMO was behaving exactly like any straight male teenager.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 07/04/2011 08:54

Whilst not the most tasteful thing, way to go to give a teenager a complex about sex. Definitely ideal time for a chat about what's acceptable and what isn't, but YANBU, she was OTT in banning him from speaking to this other lad!

ConstanceFelicity · 07/04/2011 08:54

YANBU. I hate porn and would try to explain why to my sons if they used it, but to make having a sex drive into a punishable offence is very damaging IMO.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/04/2011 08:58

Very OTT - boys have been looking for photos of naked women since time immemorial

absolutely she should talk to him about porn but he's still going to borrow her Littlewoods catalogue to wank off to the underwear section

WriterofDreams · 07/04/2011 08:58

YANBU definitely. It's totally normal for boys this age to be curious and to want to look at those kinds of pictures and her attitude is likely to make him reluctant to talk to her about any personal problems in the future.

ddubsgirl · 07/04/2011 09:00

blimey,dh brought home a mag for our 14yr old,not a full on porn mag but it has almost naked women in it as he is at that age now and is taking notice of stuff told him he is never to look it up on the pc/laptop not because its wrong but it fucks up the hard drive with all the viruses!lol!

bubblecoral · 07/04/2011 09:16

I don't think it's any of your business how your SIL deal with her parenting issues, but it does sound like an honest chat about the porn industry and sex in general would be more beneficial to your DN than just being shouted out that he is never to see his friend or look at porn ever again.

welshbyrd · 07/04/2011 09:29

I think your SIL in danger of make her son think sex, naked bodies, winkies etc is perverse
She deffo did not handle it very well

Original poster
lesley33 · 07/04/2011 11:54

bubblecoral - You don't think its any of my business? He is my nephew you know, not a random stranger.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 07/04/2011 12:09

I agree that she went OTT but I also have to agree that it really isnt your place to say anything unless she asks.

FabbyChic · 07/04/2011 14:08

I found a porn link on one of my laptops once my son was 15, it had dropped a cookie on the desktop, I changed the title to read is this yours son?

I made a joke out of it, last thing I would want to do is give my kids any sexual hangups, like religion they have to make up their own mind about the sex industry too.

Your nephew is 13 he deserves some privacy.

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