to consider giving up breast feeding?

[bettydraperswardrobeelf]

My DH is five months old and is ebf. I enjoy breast feeding and know it is the best thing for my son. However, I am currently 5 stone overweight. I put on 3 stone between getting married and getting pregnant and put on another three stone while pregnant - I am only 5'1". I lost a stone straight after having DH (his weight plus fluid etc) but am finding it incredibly difficult to lose the rest of the weight. Really hoped bfing would help me lose it but it hasn't helped at all! I have found that if I restrict my food intake or do any extra exercise my milk supply drops dramatically! Even if I just have a really busy day and don't make enough time for proper meals I end up with him feeding for ages and ages in the evenings and not seeming to get much from me (sucking and sucking but not swallowing very often). My DH is fine and thriving btw, this doesn't happen often.

My weight is making me really really miserable at ther moment but I feel it is unfair to my son to diet while I'm still feeding him. I had planned to bf till he was a year but I am seriously thinking of giving up at 6 months and switching to formula when he starts weaning. I am desperate to get back in the gym - I get a real high from intense exercise. BUT is this reasonable or am I just being selfish and putting my needs before DHs? I feel really guilty for thinking about giving up. Has anyone else had this problem?

I'm really surprised that doing exercise affects your milk supply. Is that definitely what's happening, or is it that you're away from him for a bit so he's making up for it?

I don't think anyone can advise you, really. I loved breastfeeding, and am a very strong supporter of it, but I found that it made me lose weight - I put weight on when I stopped - so I can't say how I'd feel about it if it were the other way around. If your weight is making you that miserable, and you're fairly confident that breastfeeding is what's stopping you from exercising, I do think you should stop. It sounds like exercise is really, really good for your mental health, and in your case that might well outweigh the convenience and pleasure in breastfeeding.

Would it be possible to try mix feeding, to ease into it? I only ask because it sounds like you really like breastfeeding, but really want to exercise and eat better, and it's the only compromise I can think of.

If it is really making you miserable possibly. I do not think it would necessarey be selfish (BTW, I assme you mean DC not DH)

Not sure it is one for AIBU though.

First things first, well done for bfeeding successfully for 5 months!

Dh means dear husband btw dd dear daughter and d's dear son

It is easier loosing weight when bfeeding for some but not all

Have you joined a weight loss club, slimming world you can eat loads and it's really easy, it falls off.

I dieted when I was bfing and it made no difference at all to my milk.
I did ww and they are very generous with extra points for bfing mothers. Honestly, I couln't believe I could eat it all and still lose weight. I dieted before weaning and my DS was ebf as well during this time - no problems. I didn't lose weight just BFing either - I DID lose weight on ww with the extra points at the same rate I would have lost it prior to pg though.

DH is dear husband btw - I assume a typo

You have done a fab job with the bfing to date and if you do decide that the best thing is to stop then you have nothing to feel guilty about. Good luck with the weight-loss!

Yeah it definitely affects it. I wasn't sure at first, but I do often express so my DH can help out and I found the amount I could express was significantly reduced (like half normal amount) if I'd done exercise/eaten less. I know the amount you can express doesn't necessarily match up with the amount you produce but it has to be an indication surely?

tortoise, I BF for almost 8 years non stop (4 dcs) nd I did not loose any weight at all, BF is not in my experience a slimming solution.

YANBU... And you don't actually have to justify the decision. What you want to do, do it.

Sorry obviouly meant DS in first post - have NOT been bfing DH!!!

As Chil says, you don't need to justify or explain any decision - and certainly not to a bunch of strangers on the internet!

Have you taken a good look at what you eat and drink? Could you have less milk after exercise because you are dehydrated? Since you are enjoying BFing I would try changing what you eat first. Not dieting as such, just making sure you Are eating healthily and sensibly in relation to your calorific needs. Also, although it is counterintuitive, try to' have 3 meals and 2 snacks (eg a pièce of fruit), target than get hungry.

YANBU, but I think I'd investigate other options (like Slimming World), before I quit BFing, if it was me. However, if this is something that's making you incredibly unhappy and you know how to fix it (exercise, proper dieting), then you'll have done a great job by BFing for six months. Not many UK women manage that, and you've already given your son a great start in life.

Gorionine, I didn't say that it was a slimming solution, per se. I said that it was the case for me that I lost weight very quickly when breastfeeding, and then put on weight when I gave up. It doesn't surprise me at all that the OP has had the opposite experience; several of my friends have had, as well.

I only expressed surprise that exercise should so drastically affect supply.

I put on weight when bf too. I read somewhere that if you bf ten you lose the weight most between 6 & 9 months. My son is 9m and over the last 6 weeks I have noticed a dramatic difference soit may beworth sticking with it, especially if you like doing it.

I go on a facebook page called 'the leaky boob' which is a wonderful BF support group xx

l did not find l lost any weight when l was breastfeeding either of my two DCs, in fact my sweet tooth went into over drive.

I did slimming world when l was breastfeeding DD up until she was 18 months. You were allowed extra calcium/dairy and fibre/b choices. l did lose the weight on the plan and did not notice any difference in my breast milk supply.

Dehydration could be a factor, whether exercising or not. Food itself contains a lot of water, not just what you drink. So if you try to restrict intake either by food or even cups of tea and coffee without replacing it you could impact your supply.

I liked the slimming world diet because l was not restricted to the amount l ate, and could snack on the right stuff throughout the day and in between meals.

If you want to give up b/f, give up you don't need to justify yourself.

However if you do want to continue then as far as I am aware exercise should NOT effect supply and up to a certain point neither should your diet - your milk would be the last thing effected.

Pumping is NOT an indicator of supply - I ebf my 90th centile DS but could only pump a max of 2 oz a day and that would take me ages.

I am wondering on the days that you are really busy and don't have time to eat properly and then he feeds for ages in the evening you are unwittingly feeding him quicker as well during the day hence his long feed in the evening.

Of course give up bfing if that is what you want.

But expressing milk is not a reliable way of knowing how much milk you are producing, and exercise and dieting when you are five stone overweight will not cause your milk to decrease.

Your body has plenty of reserves to make the milk your baby needs.

Women who are severely underweight or lacking in adequate nutrition may have a problem in making enough milk.

There is some good info about dieting and BFing on Kellymom here

If you enjoy breastfeeding why don't you wait until you start weaning your son before staring an exercise regime? You may find he takes less milk from you anyway when he is having some solids and then the problem may solve itself so to speak? It might be worth a try.