If you have been together and it was coming up for you knowing and being in each other lives after 20 years would you still consider marriage if you had

[flowersinbloom]

would it be so unreasonable for you to go abroad with two friends without your parents ?.Because I can not be hassled with everyone else and feeding them when we are saving for our family.

We are buying a house together in the next two years, I was thinking of going abroad on holiday but saying I do and continuing with our holiday after we married with our best friends so aibu ?

Thanks everyone,you are right I dont want a fallout ,just dont want the hassell and expense of it all as long as we are married thats the important part.

You don't have to have an evening do - weddings can be as low key as you want. we planned a small wedding - afternoon reception, no evening do as I am miserable git and dislike them, then off on honeymoon. ended up with change of plan as OH in forces and was deployed to Gulf War 1 6 months beforehand with no idea if or when he would return,so very speedy wedding arranged, just immediate family and friends from my family home to church (we didn't live near my family at time), I bought nice but ordinary dress (ie not wedding) in sales meal for immediate family then I went home and he was deployed!

That said, thankfully he was back by time original wedding had been planned for so we went ahead with a blessing ceremony (I go to wear my frock and had bridesmaid and a photographer), small reception for extended family and friends who couldn't make first one, then honeymoon!!

Just do a registry wedding and then say 'hey lets all go on holiday together'

No need for a wedding if you don't want one, don't even need to tell people you got married if you don't want the fallout.

Go for it and do whatever you want, I say! However, getting married abroad isn't usually a cheap option. Why not just go off together somewhere local and get married, then come back and 'surprise' everyone with your lovely news? What fallout can you possibly get from doing something so romantic?

registry wedding, meal out with parents and children, little party for close friends at night or celebrate in a pub. its understandable you dont want a huge fuss or big expense but this is simple enough and involves your parents which i think would be nice. Then book yourself off for a little holiday afterwards. TBH this would probably all be cheaper than getting married abroad and at the end of the day, you'd be married

We didn´t have an evening do.

We invited everyone we wanted to the reception.

I think a meal with parents & an evening meet up with friends would be fine.

Oh and real friends shouldn´t be making you feel guilty.

And they can be at the ceremony.

Realistically, how many friends would you want there-too many to book a table at a restaurant & you all pay your own way?

You can have a civil ceremony with just your parents, kids and closest friends (say 10 people) and then a dinner at a nice restauarant and that's that. Why does it have to be either a big wedding here or something abroad which would a) cost more because you're going abroad (ie flights and hotels etc) and b) upset your parents?

It's your choice though!

If you invite friends and not your parents they will feel that they have been left out on purpose and will be hurt. Marry abroad without anyone you know present if you don't want any hassle, then when you get back say it was 'spur of the moment decision'.

Thanks I can see we can do either abroad alone and marry with kids and honeymoon less cost but more privacy or civil ceremony meal and then just dp and me in the evening in a hotel,then of on holiday as a family next day.