To want my arrears before a divorce?

[smokinaces]

Ex left 2 years ago. He currently owes me around £800 in arrears of Child Maintenance from last year. (He's paying a low amount weekly, but at least its something)

He is due a tax rebate and said I can either have the money, or a divorce - but he'd prefer the divorce.

AIBU to say no, I want the arrears before the divorce? And that the arrears are not to be spent on a divorce? (He wants it quicker as he has a live in girlfriend I think, I was talking about it from a legal estate point of view after speaking to the bank today)

agree with negotiation ccpccp. I try and be fair in all this, and accept that one reason he wants to pay less weekly is so he can spend more on them when he sees them (soft play etc) so I try and negotiate as fairly as I can.

But £800 to me is 6 weeks wages. Its nearly 2 months childcare bills. Its a big amount when you are on a low wage juggling. And I would be lying if I said I didnt need it.

I have tried very hard in the last 2 years to keep it all out the courts and the CSA and do things in person as I think it can be healthier, especially for the children. However, it does mean sometimes I feel rather ganged up on when its him and his moods and his girlfriend against me.

I'd say it was pretty cruel to even consider denying your children or future stepchildren and their mother money that you owe so that you could get married.

£800 is a lot of money to the vast majority of people, I would guess that nearly every single Mum out there could make much better use of it than paying for a wedding.

It doesn't matter if she needs it, or even what your definition of need is. A person shouldn't even consider spending money on weddings, cigarettes, alcohol or anything else not entirely neccesary while they are not financially supporting their children.